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Horrific date - LOVEHOTEL?!

Fuerza

By Fuerza
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Fuerza Established Member

Fuerza

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So I've been seeing this guy, sexually we have an extreme connection, we can't stop touch each other when we're together. Last date we were in his car and things got a bit heated, we didn't do something though, I didn't want to.

 

He the proposed to get ourselves some food so we went to pick something up and he was trying to think of a nice place to eat the meal. He said he knew something more 'private', so I said sure why not. Thinking he was going to drive me to the docks as I had proposed that, pretty nice spot and romantic too.

 

So he drives in this weird street and he's like 'I think it's here', so I look up and see this neon light sign that says 'rooms for rent'. So I panicked, he parked the car and I'm like 'we eating here? :confused:' . And he keeps beating around the bush with 'I got a surprise' and I ask him to be just honest about his 'surprise' so he says it's a hotel and we can have more privacy there. So I tell him I don't want to do that, he later apologized but thought I was in the mood because of the signs I was sending off.

 

Now tell me, what guy in his right mind takes a girl to a lovehotel on the 3D date? Even if I was giving off horny vibes, who does that man? I mean was I even in the wrong here?

 

I later confronted it with him and he actually got mad at me, saying things like if things would have been different if he had arranged an expensive hotel room and stuff and that his intention was NOT to 'use me' because he really likes me.

 

PS: we both live at our parents house so it's not possible for us to do it at their home.

Els Established Member

Els

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Well, to be fair, when he said he was thinking of 'something more private', IMO it's pretty obvious what he was hinting at... :laugh: If you had agreed to that, I don't think it's terribly surprising that he'd be disappointed later on. He probably thought you knew what he meant.

 

That aside, it's totally fine for you to say 'no way'. It would turn me off completely if a guy tried this on a 3rd date too.

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Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

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He was just looking to get his noodle wet and wasn't thinking of you at all... next him as he showed you no respect.. who does that.. vibes so he rents a sleazy room.... haha

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Fuerza Established Member

Fuerza

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Well, to be fair, when he said he was thinking of 'something more private', IMO it's pretty obvious what he was hinting at... :laugh: If you had agreed to that, I don't think it's terribly surprising that he'd be disappointed later on. He probably thought you knew what he meant.

 

That aside, it's totally fine for you to say 'no way'. It would turn me off completely if a guy tried this on a 3rd date too.

 

When I look back at it, I completely agree, but I swear in the moment I just thought he wanted to have a private spot where we could eat at our ease :lmao:

 

Just the fact that this guy thought I was going with him to a lovehotel on the 3D date and say yes to a dodgy lovehotel, WHY :lmao:

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Fuerza Established Member

Fuerza

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Its not really a big surprise that people want to have sex. Especially after the 3rd date. If after that amount of time and nothing has happened yet, then someone needs to let the other go. Thats a lot of time to be wasting and not getting any.

 

Of course I get that, but to just take me to a love hotel, a place that's meant for sex only when we've only had 3 dates shows of zero respect man.

 

And I kind of have to disagree with you on the 'not having sex after 3 dates is wasting time'. Both parties have to be ready, there is no time frame when people have to have sex when dating.

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Romantic Gentleman Member

Romantic Gentleman

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Sexually we have an extreme connection, we can't stop touch each other when we're together

 

If your dating experiences with this man have been like this constantly, then it gave him other ideas to take advantage of the opportunity

BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

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Of course I get that, but to just take me to a love hotel, a place that's meant for sex only when we've only had 3 dates shows of zero respect man.

 

And I kind of have to disagree with you on the 'not having sex after 3 dates is wasting time'. Both parties have to be ready, there is no time frame when people have to have sex when dating.

 

Totally agree. I have such a hard time with men who expect that if sex hasn't happened by the third date, she is not interested and they are wasting time. It takes time to get to know someone. Not everyone is ready to take this hugely personal step with a virtual stranger after a few hours together. It's ridiculous in my humble opinion... But it is a nice way to learn who is in it for the sex, and who is actually interested/cares for you as a person.

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beyond Established Member

beyond

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Op, never be pushed into something you are not ready for. It does sound kinda sleazy what he did - after all he suggested you get food and eat it somewhere more private and you even suggested a pretty outdoor spot - I don't know why that should have made him think you were up for a hotel room ( whether hotel was cheap or expensive)

If you think it was a genuine miscommunication and if he seems sorry and understands where you're coming from, then maybe give him another chance

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed reply to deleted post
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Robert Established Member

Robert

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On topic posts please, let's not debate women and dating or vise versa, the thread starter is looking for advice on their situation. thanks

jen1447 Established Member

jen1447

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I assume this place rented rooms by the hour? ;)

 

Yeah no. The level of esteem someone has for someone else is directly related to the respect they show them in how they treat them, so if he took you to the Shady Inn it means he doesn't think that highly of you, sorry. (Altho I should point out too that some ppl's level of culture and propriety prevents them from really treating anyone well as far as that goes.)

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preraph Established Member

preraph

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You probably would have gotten bed bugs or worse.

 

Look the important thing is you had standards and you held your boundaries when the awkward situation came up. Who knows what his intentions were (other than, obviously, to have sex), but with you too being physical already, mean, it's not a leap for him to assume you'd like to have a place to do it. And since you said you're living with your parents, I assume you're both really young so he probably thought this was what he was supposed to do and didn't know how sleazy and presumptuous it was.

 

Anyway, you drew your boundary and you were right to do it. And if he doesn't get over it, then move on.

Ami1uwant Established Member

Ami1uwant

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An elevator may have been better.....

 

 

There was mis communication here. If things in the relationship are good look past this.

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Fuerza Established Member

Fuerza

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I assume this place rented rooms by the hour? ;)

 

Yeah no. The level of esteem someone has for someone else is directly related to the respect they show them in how they treat them, so if he took you to the Shady Inn it means he doesn't think that highly of you, sorry. (Altho I should point out too that some ppl's level of culture and propriety prevents them from really treating anyone well as far as that goes.)

 

Yup + private creepy garage :confused:

 

Culture definitely does play a role, for us a hotel room would be the only place to get intimate. He has admitted that he has went to these love hotels with his exes, he is VERY physical, he's the first guy that puts me first when we're fooling around but it's also very obvious he's very sexually frustrated. I've discussed it with him tough and he said he wants to take things slow and focus less on sex or the lust aspect. So I'll give him one chance and see how he does.

 

I just could never do our 'first time' in a hotel room, it puts me off so much. But it's the only option we have :/

 

 

You probably would have gotten bed bugs or worse.

 

Look the important thing is you had standards and you held your boundaries when the awkward situation came up. Who knows what his intentions were (other than, obviously, to have sex), but with you too being physical already, mean, it's not a leap for him to assume you'd like to have a place to do it. And since you said you're living with your parents, I assume you're both really young so he probably thought this was what he was supposed to do and didn't know how sleazy and presumptuous it was.

 

Anyway, you drew your boundary and you were right to do it. And if he doesn't get over it, then move on.

 

Ohman, just the thought of a hotel like that makes me gag. No disrespect to people who use it, but all I can think of is this cum stained room with sheets that haven't been properly washed and a nicely intercourse Febreze stench of the previous guests :sick:

 

We're not young (mid twenties), just cultural differences that makes it difficult to do 'normal' things like these. Which is very annoying when you're physically connecting with someone very well. We've discussed it and he has apologized, there's just no way you'll get me in a hotel like that so he better look for a different solution :lmao:

Omei Established Member

Omei

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Personally I'd dump any guy who took me to a hotel instead of someplace that was more personal for a first time I'd also be dumping any guy who cared more about getting laid then getting to know me better you haven't spent more than a week in time together total.

 

I have an ex that was long distance our first time was in a hotel but that was after a year of talking to each other and falling and a planned trip it was different becaus there was so much build up and it wasn't a lover hotel but a nice family place with a resteraunt and a pool by then we were both ready and couldn't wait.

 

I'd ditch this guy if I were you even if you both live at your parents it should of been much later and at a time where you were both wanting it not him just driving to a hotel because you were under the impression he was taking you to a place to eat you should be on the same page without having to guess.

Edited by Omei
deep_night Established Member

deep_night

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your thread title is so funny :lmao: sorry

 

i agree, it's a bit tacky :/ if i were him i'd wait until i got to know you better and just book a weekend to a proper hotel and destination!

leogirl876 Established Member

leogirl876

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I would've been very turned off if a guy did that to me. I think it's very tacky and disrespectful. I'm thinking he's a douche and you should next him!!!

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randall Established Member

randall

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Guy buys girl food. Guy drives girl to Lovehotel to eat it.

 

You've got yourself one smooth operator here.

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