Lobe Posted September 10, 2016 Share Posted September 10, 2016 Why are you into whipping up drama? Don't know... Lol Seriously, it sounds like your motive is still to hurt your MM not to vindicate his BS. Contacting her friends on FB is creepy and stalkerish. Do you or have you tried to understand why you obsess over the BS? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ana-Iva Posted September 10, 2016 Author Share Posted September 10, 2016 (edited) Why are you into whipping up drama? Don't know... Lol Seriously, it sounds like your motive is still to hurt your MM not to vindicate his BS. Contacting her friends on FB is creepy and stalkerish. Do you or have you tried to understand why you obsess over the BS? I know why. Because he is a dangerous guy in the sense that he will ruin many more lives at least for a while, while using lies and deceit and forgetting to mention he was married. He will gaslight his wife for years and years (and that is emotional abuse) and she has already confronted him on a few occasions with some things and he just denied and denied. He did the same to me. He will hurt and hurt people just to get what he wants. Many more will quit the club and the activity they swear by, be dragged into living his dirty secrets and be made into one. I say being dragged into because he finds vulnerable women or women like I was back then when he was the only person that I socialised with in a new country, and I did not have enough energy to look for anyone else because I was deeply depressed and hardly left bed. He in some bizarre way kept me alive. If you can make him pay for all the women that he caused harm to and stop him from doing it to others, wouldn't you??? All I need to do is tell the truth. If there is any justice, then this is how it should look: he is finally exposed for what he really is and loses his wife and house and all material things he cares for. He is a single guy again at 56 and his children (all of which are in 20s) now know what he's been doing all their life to their mother and their family. His social circle of rich people he likes to associate with suddenly shrinks. And he loses it all and is forced to confront himself for who he really is, because being pathological narcissist means that he thinks he is really a good guy and a great person. So I want to see some bloody justice done to the guy like that, yes. Call it what you want, this is what I feel would best serve the interests of so many people including myself. Option 1: he will just continue to drag more people into his web and hurt more people, and deceive his wife Option 2: someone will do something to stop him, and make him pay for what he's already done Does not seem like a tough choice to me. My motives here are the least important thing. So if inside of me I truly just did it for his wife and not any other reason it would somehow be different than if I do it for other reasons? No, the consequences would still be the same and BS would not care what was my motive. I do not obsess with BS. It is fairly normal to look at someone's FB, I don't do it every day or every months even. Been there a couple of times. Nothing so creepy and stalkish about contacting her friend at all. It is not conventional, but it wasn't a bad idea if it actually worked. Edited September 10, 2016 by Ana-Iva Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted September 10, 2016 Share Posted September 10, 2016 You're just after revenge Ava. I'm no fan of affairs, but you talk like he's a menace to society and people should be warned against him like he's a physically abusive and a danger to women. He's only an issue for those who choose to be with a MM. He wouldn't be a problem for me. Everything was fine till the younger woman came on the scene and saying you didn't have the energy to find a partner is no excuse to have an affair with a MM. You're very good at coming up with reasons/excuses for your behaviour and placing all the blame on him. You need to own your part in this. How did he manage to deceive you about not being married? Did you not go to his house? Does his wife live there? Did you go out in public with him? Were you free to call him anytime and did he respond? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 10, 2016 Share Posted September 10, 2016 Option 1: he will just continue to drag more people into his web and hurt more people, and deceive his wife Option 2: someone will do something to stop him, and make him pay for what he's already done It's not up to you to decide! You are angry and revengeful, it's not coming from a genuine place of care for his wife, if the A was still on and you were happy, you wouldn't even be considering telling his wife or contacting her friends on facebook. He burned you and you're pissed, wanting him to suffer. You also didn't end the A once you knew he was married, you continued on until things went bad. If you plan on telling her, DO SO YOURSELF, leave her friends out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Ahurtgirl Posted September 11, 2016 Share Posted September 11, 2016 From my experience, and this is what I lived through, do NOT call the wife! He will hate you and blame you for everything. Making you look like the one who has no regard to his marriage and family. He will throw you under the bus! He will not change his ways just because you told his wife. IF anything, he will protect her and make you out to be some terrible person who just wanted to hurt her. Seriously, that is what will happen. Just walk away. Today, if you can. Let karma do it's thing and save yourself much misery. Link to post Share on other sites
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