mujeep Posted July 2, 2005 Posted July 2, 2005 We talk almost daily, sometimes more than once a day (she called me at 1am last night and said she was crying thinking of me). I know I should be taking the advice of the members on this forum and not talk to her, but its been difficult to say the least. Here's how the conversation goes in all honesty: When she calls me, she asks me what I did last night, where did I go, and who I was with. I in turn, ask her the same. We both usually end up saying we went out on a date. It hurts her and really hurts me. When ever I start talking about us getting back together, she gets really upset and wants to immediately get off the phone, sometimes she hangs up on me. I really can't think of ANYTHING else to talk about with her on the phone. I don't want to drive her away from me by talking to her about our past, but at the same time I want to face some issues and find out just how serious her relationship is with the other guy. What is the very BEST thing I can talk about when I'm speaking to her over the phone? Would she even be talking to me if she didn't have feelings for me? Why does she talk to me when she tells me how great this new guy is and how she is getting used to him?
Author mujeep Posted July 2, 2005 Author Posted July 2, 2005 Refer to: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t65672/?goto=newpost Coping: "Second Time Loss with the Same Girl....Need Help"
blue16 Posted July 2, 2005 Posted July 2, 2005 Would she even be talking to me if she didn't have feelings for me? Why does she talk to me when she tells me how great this new guy is and how she is getting used to him? Just because she's talking to you doesn't mean she has feelings for you. It's the classic routine where one partner dumps the other...the dumper maintains casual contact to see if the dumpee is still pining for them. They don't want them back, but rather want an ego boost knowing that the other person still likes them. The dumpee takes the other person contacting them as "they want to get back together." and as soon as they mention such a thing the dumper backs away again. Rinse and repeat over and over until one of you has the guts to break off all contact. She doesn't want you back. She's with another guy, and as soon as you even mention getting back together it offends her. You are no challenge to her. She can have you any time she wants and she knows that - there is no chase or mystery. You want her back? Start ignoring her and move on with your life and then see what she does. It's amazing the things people do when the attention they are used to receiving gets taken away. I can almost guarantee you she will start to become a little bit desperate if she senses she has lost you. She'll contact you more and more wondering what's going on, what you're doing, why you aren't infatuated with her anymore etc. If you have a high self-esteem and integrity you'll continue to move on with your life and forget her. If not, then you'll fall into her trap and this vicious cycle will continue once again.
mixwell Posted July 3, 2005 Posted July 3, 2005 Originally posted by blue16 Just because she's talking to you doesn't mean she has feelings for you. It's the classic routine where one partner dumps the other...the dumper maintains casual contact to see if the dumpee is still pining for them. They don't want them back, but rather want an ego boost knowing that the other person still likes them. The dumpee takes the other person contacting them as "they want to get back together." and as soon as they mention such a thing the dumper backs away again. Rinse and repeat over and over until one of you has the guts to break off all contact. She doesn't want you back. She's with another guy, and as soon as you even mention getting back together it offends her. You are no challenge to her. She can have you any time she wants and she knows that - there is no chase or mystery. You want her back? Start ignoring her and move on with your life and then see what she does. It's amazing the things people do when the attention they are used to receiving gets taken away. I can almost guarantee you she will start to become a little bit desperate if she senses she has lost you. She'll contact you more and more wondering what's going on, what you're doing, why you aren't infatuated with her anymore etc. If you have a high self-esteem and integrity you'll continue to move on with your life and forget her. If not, then you'll fall into her trap and this vicious cycle will continue once again. couldn't have said it any better than that myself !! good response blue !!
Author mujeep Posted July 4, 2005 Author Posted July 4, 2005 Originally posted by blue16 Rinse and repeat over and over until one of you has the guts to break off all contact. I just need to get some guts so I can stop the cycle.
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