Using a gaming app to approach women in public

[AMJ]

I dare you to try it the way I suggested and see if you get better results. Women will think you're more attractive when you approach with confidence and let them know they are attractive. When guys approach me the way you do, I think they're too afraid to just come right out and say what they want- like does this guy really give a #$%& about this book I'm thinking of buying, or which bus I'm waiting for, or how great the weather is today...no, of course not.

 

You said that you get shot down the way you do it, so why not try a different way?

[Shining One]

If she's grocery shopping, ask to help her with her bags. If she's standing in line at Starbucks, say something nice and then offer to buy her coffee. That's the type of thing our grandparents did, and that's not really what men do today. You guys approach with weird cheesy lines, with this attitude of being entitled to some ecstatic response, and then get irritated when we blow you off because we're unimpressed.

Sounds to me like the woman in this scenario is more entitled than the man. In order for her to even consider giving the man a positive response, he must first do her a favor and/or spend money on her.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I dare you to try it the way I suggested and see if you get better results. Women will think you're more attractive when you approach with confidence and let them know they are attractive. When guys approach me the way you do, I think they're too afraid to just come right out and say what they want- like does this guy really give a #$%& about this book I'm thinking of buying, or which bus I'm waiting for, or how great the weather is today...no, of course not.

 

You said that you get shot down the way you do it, so why not try a different way?

 

I have tried it, it doesn't work. So there goes that theory. Usually got a "no thank you" or "not interested" or "My boyfriend is around the corner".

 

I've actually seen men try this, witnessed this myself, seirously didn't work for them, and then sometimes they'd keep pressing....only for it to wind up cringeworthy. lol

 

 

"May I buy you a coffee?" No thanks, 'No really, it's on me!" "No thank you." *cringe* "Dude you kept pushin"

Edited July 20, 2016 by LookAtThisPOst

[LookAtThisPOst]

Sounds to me like the woman in this scenario is more entitled than the man. In order for her to even consider giving the man a positive response, he must first do her a favor and/or spend money on her.

 

Right, it comes off as desperate. It puts women on the spot because they know there's an ulterior motive of expecting something in return.

[AMJ]

Sounds to me like the woman in this scenario is more entitled than the man. In order for her to even consider giving the man a positive response, he must first do her a favor and/or spend money on her.

 

So, think of cold calling in sales. The salesperson is trying to convince you to buy something. It's not about entitlement, it's about being convincing and getting someone's attention. One person wants something from the other person. In dating scenario, the guy approaching wants the woman to continue to talk to him so he can ask her out. A random guy approaches a woman somewhere in public, she thinks- why do I want to continue to talk to him? If he tanks his approach, he will not get her attention. Guys who are extremely attractive don't have to try as hard, everyone else needs to learn to be charming, funny, smart, or otherwise have an enticing personality. I'm simply saying that asking inane questions about why she's buying a latte instead of an americano probably aren't going to convince most women that this random guy is worth talking to. If a woman wanted to cold approach a man, I'd give the same advice.

 

People need to learn to put effort into being better at things they try to do. Whether it's studying in school, training for a marathon, getting the promotion at work, getting the hot girl's number at starbucks....it doesn't do anyone any good to mope and say the system is rigged just because you fail a few times.

[LookAtThisPOst]

So, think of cold calling in sales. The salesperson is trying to convince you to buy something. .

 

Stop comparing it to sales. It cannot be comparable to dating.

 

I'm simply saying that asking inane questions about why she's buying a latte instead of an americano probably aren't going to convince most women that this random guy is worth talking to.

 

That's just an opinion, what may work on some women, may not work with others.

[AMJ]

You can disagree with my opinions but I do happen to be a woman who has been cold approached many times, and I'm just telling you what works versus what does not work.

 

Bottom line, your OP is that using pokemon Go is a great way to meet women because now you have a "reason" to approach them. The thing you seem to not get is that women already know that the "reason" you're approaching us is because you want to talk to us, probably ask us out. So stop pussyfooting around the issue and be straightforward about it. I don't want a guy to approach me to talk about pokemon. I want a man to approach me because he thinks I'm attractive and wants to hunt me down.

 

Like you said that's just one opinion. There probably are women out there who'd love to get chatted up about pikachu, I just don't know those women and probably never will.

[MidwestUSA]

Stop comparing it to sales. It cannot be comparable to dating.

 

It most certainly is!

 

What are we doing? Trying to 'sell' ourselves to another. Bring your best product forward.

[AMJ]

There's a reason that men who are good at sales are really good at getting women. That is not a coincidence

[RecentChange]

There's a reason that men who are good at sales are really good at getting women. That is not a coincidence

 

Its not a coincidence. A good salesman has SOCIAL SKILLS. They can read their potential customer quite well. They are astute to subtleties in body language. They can adjust their approach accordingly. They know how to negotiate, listen, and sell themselves.

 

Plus - good sales people attend to their appearance. They know that good looking people are received better. They know how their dress affects how people perceive them.

 

All things that are assets when it comes to picking up women. Skills that other professions - lets say software coding do not require - and hence why there is a correlation between the type of person that would excel at sales, and the type of person who does well in the dating world.

[Shining One]

So, think of cold calling in sales. The salesperson is trying to convince you to buy something. It's not about entitlement, it's about being convincing and getting someone's attention. One person wants something from the other person. In dating scenario, the guy approaching wants the woman to continue to talk to him so he can ask her out. A random guy approaches a woman somewhere in public, she thinks- why do I want to continue to talk to him? If he tanks his approach, he will not get her attention. Guys who are extremely attractive don't have to try as hard, everyone else needs to learn to be charming, funny, smart, or otherwise have an enticing personality. I'm simply saying that asking inane questions about why she's buying a latte instead of an americano probably aren't going to convince most women that this random guy is worth talking to. If a woman wanted to cold approach a man, I'd give the same advice.

 

People need to learn to put effort into being better at things they try to do. Whether it's studying in school, training for a marathon, getting the promotion at work, getting the hot girl's number at starbucks....it doesn't do anyone any good to mope and say the system is rigged just because you fail a few times.

Fair enough and I agree. I was just pointing out that calling one person in that scenario "entitled" and not the other was wrong.

[Els]

 

Maybe he thought that she was busy trying to catch something else nearby. She WAS so invested that she didn't see the guy.

 

Come on. I play the game and this is effing ridiculous. If someone wants want to talk to you while playing they will. If they're not... they don't want to. They really shouldn't need to say 'talk to the hand' for you to get the message.

 

To swiftly end the encounter of course! You want to crush any hope the guy has, so why not do this in the surest, most efficient manner?

 

If the guy isn't getting these hints, the confrontation continues. Just end it right then and there and tell the guy "Sorry, but I'm not interested in you."

 

Just that simple.

You can see how this could go all sorts of wrong, right? Could even lead to her being abused - verbally OR physically. Nobody owes a stranger a straight-up comment like that. Moving away isn't a subtle hint, and it really concerns me that you guys think it's 'subtle'! It's a gigantic, in-your-face hint that 99% of the human population understands past the age of 12. Same as how we all understand that someone raising the middle finger isn't trying to tell you they like you. She didn't exactly push her hair behind her left ear instead of right and expect him to understand that it was code for 'not interested'.

[Aniela]

I've only played it a few times, and once or twice in public (at the hospital, in with the vending machines, and when I was waiting in the van, for dad). I haven't seen the hoards of people that I'm hearing about, but I'm not in a city.

 

I have liked what I've heard about people using it to help get dogs adopted, though. I just saw something about people going to a dog shelter to walk the dogs, and play the game at the same time. Apparently, they're taking pictures, sharing them, and dogs are getting adopted - some people have thought they didn't want a dog, until they walked one, and bonded with it. I can get behind that.

[frus69]

I wouldn't be attracted to men who are in their 30s and still play Pokemon

[PogoStick]

Interesting. I'm about to move to an entirely new city. Maybe I'll try it if I get bored.

[Els]

Haven't really bumped into anyone so far, since I'm in a small town. Which is probably a good thing though as I'm NOT looking to hook up with guys on it...

 

BTW, why would you stare at your phone the entire time? It'll buzz you if it detects a Pokemon nearby! Put your phone in your pocket and enjoy the scenery... until you get to a Pokestop.

Edited July 21, 2016 by Elswyth

[Emilia]

It would be an absolute dealbreaker for me, I couldn't take a man seriously who played a game like this, regardless of age. With younger girls I sort of get it but with men? Uhm, no.

[TheArtist]

Oh, it totally works. I chased a wigglyfuffle into the ladies changing room at the local gym and I tell you, the female security guard that administered the beating was so hawt.

 

I don't think I'd date someone who is so into Pokemon that I could be having a conversation with my date only to turn my head and see her run past the window with her phone in her hand.

 

It's good that it's bringing people together though.

[MidwestUSA]

Oh, it totally works. I chased a wigglyfuffle into the ladies changing room at the local gym and I tell you, the female security guard that administered the beating was so hawt.

 

Wigglyfuffle? For real?

 

I don't know how the game works, but what if you could sign up as one of the Pokemons, or whatever they're called. Then you'd have everyone looking for you. Wouldn't that increase your odds?

[TheArtist]

Wigglyfuffle? For real?

 

Sure.. er... why not.

 

I don't know how the game works, but what if you could sign up as one of the Pokemons, or whatever they're called. Then you'd have everyone looking for you. Wouldn't that increase your odds?

 

You mean in the same way as holding up a liquor store does?

[Toodaloo]

She didn't even give him a polite response.

 

BIG HINT No 1 - should be able to pick up on that unless you are totally clueless...

 

Maybe he thought that she was busy trying to catch something else nearby. She WAS so invested that she didn't see the guy.

 

BIG HINT 2 - if she were remotely interested then a stupid game can go on hold while she says hello... it didn't ergo she wasn't interested.

 

To swiftly end the encounter of course! You want to crush any hope the guy has, so why not do this in the surest, most efficient manner?

 

Because when we have done this we have been subjected to worse behavior, insults, grabbing, slut shaming and all because we say no to a stranger. This normally happens when someones behavior is "off" and to keep going after 2 very big hints is behaving in an "off" way.

 

If the guy isn't getting these hints, the confrontation continues. Just end it right then and there and tell the guy "Sorry, but I'm not interested in you."

 

Because it doesn't end there... It goes on.

 

Just that simple.

 

Yes it is. If you are given very strong hints to back off then back off. It really is that simple and NO you do not have the right to push and harass a stranger for a date. NO ONE has that "right".

 

Cold approaches for the purpose of dating IS sales! You are trying to sell your self as a person that they may be interested in dating and spending time with. Again. Great advice that is ignored or pooh poohed as being stupid when in fact it is REALLY good advice!

[Toodaloo]

Which put him in the 100% Major Creepo category. So why did you use this as an example of how wretched this woman is? Seriously, I don't get it.

 

Pokemon or whatever, any guy who wants to approach strange women in public is running a strong risk of rejection. She may have any number of reasons for not being receptive: She has a boyfriend, she is in a hurry and the last thing on her mind is meeting anyone, she just got diagnosed with breast cancer, she just came back from being turned down for her home loan, she has PMS, a cold sore, or maybe SHE IS NOT INTERESTED IN ME. She owes no man any kind of a chance, ever. Still, for many of us it's a risk worth taking.

 

Thank you for pointing this out.

[JoeSmith357-1]

I wouldn't be attracted to men who are in their 30s and still play Pokemon

 

When Pokemon came out in the mid 90's I laughed at people my age (20's) playing it, to me it was a teenage kids game. I feel the same way about people my age (40) playing it now.

 

And, to be honest, I don't see many attractive people in my age group playing it. I have seen a few attractive people 15+ years younger than me playing it, but that's not happening

[xxoo]

I can attest that men are utilizing the new pick up line, "Are you playing Pokemon GO?" in my park.

 

Nope. Sorry, just reading a text from my kid

[LookAtThisPOst]

Funny how this thread started just shortly after mine in the "Searching for" section.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/588223-using-gaming-app-approach-women-public