pens1863 Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 Is it okay for two employees who work in the same office to date one another? I am not talking about a supervisor and employee, rather two regular employees. Their is this woman that I work with that I would like to ask out on a date but we sit about three desks apart and I'm afraid of making this awkward. What does everyone think? Any suggestions? Thank you!
JewelD Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 Sure, as long as you're okay with things potentially getting weird if it doesn't work out. I personally don't date people I work with just because business spreads and it can spiral into drama. and unlike regular life drama, you have to confront your work drama everyday you're at work. and you have to act like it doesn't bother you even if it does.
Author pens1863 Posted July 10, 2016 Author Posted July 10, 2016 Well my fear is that I will ask her on a date, she will feel awkward cause we are co workers and say no, and now things will be weird cause she knows I'm attracted to her. What do you think? I'm really attracted to her though...
JewelD Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 Just physically attracted? How well do you know her? I would start by having conversations with her, maybe trying to flirt a little and see if she responds to that. If she does, then go for it and ask her out on a date. If she doesn't seem into the flirting, I'd just leave it alone. I doubt she would say no just because you're coworkers if she was really into you. Unless she just doesn't mix work and pleasure, but I guess you have to decide if you'd still feel comfortable being around her if she said no.
Author pens1863 Posted July 10, 2016 Author Posted July 10, 2016 Honestly I don't know her all that well. I just started working in the room she works in about 2 weeks ago. I'm not just physically attracted cause I like her personality a lot. She kinda seems like she acts a little shy around me honestly. Not really sure what that means? Does anyone know what that could mean? We have some interaction throughout our workday as we both work on the same project. We sit about 3 desks apart
longjohn Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 Don't do it, it's best not to $hit where you eat. There's only a few ways this plays out when you ask her out: She says no and your now office gossipShe says yes and your now office gossipShe says yes and avoid/overcome the gossip then split up.. that's a nice work environment when she gets a new bf or you a new gf.She says yes and you overcome it all.. your entire life is now office and home your never apart? It's always best to keep work professional and your private life private. Believe me it adds to your reputation as a professional. Reputation is what will hire you it's what's hired me for my last two jobs.
JustGettingBy Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 I'd recommend against it. She says no, things will be awkward, at least in the short term. She says yes, you're mixing work with potential personal drama. That said, if one of you has given two weeks notice, it may be worth a shot. Don't quit just to ask her out though, obviously.
gorf Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 I would say work place or not, go for it. You are both human beings. Just be careful with asking out someone you work with. You know the reasons why already.... and that is why you started this thread. I would say this: knowing the things that 'could' cause it to become a bad situation, only decide to date her if it is a workplace that you consider to be temporary. Ex: a job you plan to move on from in the very near future. Like a part time job, or low paying, or something you know you don't plan to be at for long for other reasons. If you DO plan to work there a while, I would advise against asking her out and maybe just be friends. Another reason I say just friends is.. its been what, 2 weeks? You know how the attraction thing goes in work environment: it gets boring. New people come and go. You are attracted to the new girl... for a while. Until someone else comes along. I mean.. its at work. See what I mean. That's why I say either be friends and give it time to see for yourself if you really are into her, or at least know if you plan to work there a while. Hope this helps give you some ideas
LookAtThisPOst Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 Don't do it, it's best not to $hit where you eat. There's only a few ways this plays out when you ask her out: She says no and your now office gossipShe says yes and your now office gossipShe says yes and avoid/overcome the gossip then split up.. that's a nice work environment when she gets a new bf or you a new gf.She says yes and you overcome it all.. your entire life is now office and home your never apart? It's always best to keep work professional and your private life private. Believe me it adds to your reputation as a professional. Reputation is what will hire you it's what's hired me for my last two jobs. I know two people that: 1. Live together. 2. Carpool together 3. Sometimes have lunch together (he comes to her desk on his lunch break) 4. Go home together Wash-rinse repeat. Even worse, they have tons of their co-workers as FB friends and they are always leaving these sexually suggestive memes on her page, but of course, all her friends and co-workers can see this. It's amazing they are still together, but apparently they are both overlyneedy so the compliment each other. Though...I think she's more needy than she is.
smudge21 Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 Been burnt here many times so I would always so no to work place relationships... however, I do tend to keep landing myself in that mindfield, often without any effort on my side. So that said, you have to do what you want to do. Be aware of the potential problems and if you're still interested, then just ask her for a coffee after work. If she's keen for this, then there's your open door. If not, then walk away and don't think about it again.
Author pens1863 Posted July 10, 2016 Author Posted July 10, 2016 Haha smackie9 you seem pretty emphatic. Any particular reason why?
smackie9 Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 Yes I dated someone from work ONE time even tho I promised myself I wouldn't do it.....it was disastrous. Not to mention I have seen other people date coworkers.....the gossip, the drama....so not worth it.
PogoStick Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 It's better to avoid the potential messiness at work. But if you decide to try, you don't have to ask her directly on a date. Make it more casual, ask her out for lunch, or to grab a drink after work.
alphamale Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 Their is this woman that I work with that I would like to ask out on a date but we sit about three desks apart and I'm afraid of making this awkward. What does everyone think? Any suggestions? not a good idea man, most likely it will end badly for one of you. try e-Harmony
Zahara Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 Haha smackie9 you seem pretty emphatic. Any particular reason why? Don't do it. Been there, done that. It's not worth it. 2
TheBathWater Posted July 11, 2016 Posted July 11, 2016 Any suggestions? Sure. Don't do it. Never dip your pen in the company ink. I've never, never heard of this ending well.
bummer Posted July 11, 2016 Posted July 11, 2016 I see 10 NO votes to 1 WHY NOT... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/584196-2-years-still-not-over-her http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/580791-how-cope-have-see-ex-every-day I did it for 2 years with someone I didn't see every day nor work directly with. This is different than a direct coworker which I recommend as a hard NO if you like the job.
Jammer25 Posted July 11, 2016 Posted July 11, 2016 I did it for 2 years with someone I didn't see every day nor work directly with. This is different than a direct coworker which I recommend as a hard NO if you like the job. I think this is a good boundary. If you work in separate departments with no actual work interaction, those layers provide some protection from office gossip. Assuming the two people are discreet about it and keep the relationship completely outside of work. I know one couple who works on the same exact team at their job, and they've been together for almost a year. No one at the company has a clue, and to my knowledge it hasn't affected their work. They're definitely the exception, but it can work.
Recommended Posts