Feel that guilty I feel sick and can't eat ***Updated***

[asphyxis]

I'm struggling too. It comes in waves. I'm 2 weeks in after nearly being together for 2 years. I never cared much in my other relationships, but this one has shaken me to my core. I mean, it has taken the wind right out of my sails. I find myself in panic attacks, or I wake up with a headache, I have had a loss of appetite, etc. My circumstances may be different, coming from a LDR but my relationship felt stronger than some of the relationships that I've had here. And I can see exactly where and what went wrong, and it just... really sucks. I've analyzed every angle of the relationship. I've replayed multiple conversations, and memories flood my head. Nights are horrendous, as I don't get a break, even from my dreams, I'm dreaming of him. When something wonderful happens, I know he won't be there to respond. I've tried to limit my time on social media because we have tons of mutual friends, because that's how we met. I've kept myself busy with reading, and just analyzing myself. It hurts like nothing ever. I'm so grateful to have found this place.

[Pud]

I'm totally with you on everything you've said.

 

Last night I had a dream and we was together again, I woke up and for less than a second everything was just perfect then it all came flooding back. Finally got back to sleep had another dream that she was telling me about the sexual encounters she's had.

 

I've got this overwhelming urge to make contact, I'm not sure what I'll get out of it but for some reason I feel the need to see if she's ok. The pain is unbearable.

 

Today I feel sick, today I don't want to go work, today I just don't want to be here!

[Pud]

So it's been 4 months ish, I think about my ex all day everyday, every spear moment she's in my head, some days tho the thoughts are not that intense and I can get on with my day and do my job but that only lasts 1-2 days then (like today) it dawns on me that I'm never going to see her again, I miss her so much and can't get out my head about her seeing other men, I don't know what she's up to been up to how her nursing job is going I know nothing and stew about it. I sit in my van and just wind myself up and constantly think things I shouldn't.

 

It's such a vicious circle and just can't seem to get out the loop.

 

I've started working out again and eating clean I've even joined a cycling club in my area but nothing seems to shift these days.

 

Every time certain songs come on (not that they mean anything to me and my ex) I just stop what I'm doing and think things that put me down further further down.

 

I'm not sure why I'm writing this as I know there's nothing no one can do, just some times helps with people's comments.

[Giggles666]

I don't know how to help you. In a similar boat myself. I'm trying to think of all the bad things about my ex, seems to help a bit. I also ran into her recently after 4 months, actually she came to see me out of the blue and things seemed like they were looking up. Then she flaked again and I saw her this week with a new boyfriend, who I know. She tried to say hi to me but I pretended not to see her...and somehow this all helped me.

 

She's moved on, our almost 20 year friendship is over, after I ignored her I felt much better. I have had sex with a number of women, that did not help much. I tried complete no contact and that worked until I saw her. But seeing her with another man seemed to have set me free.

 

I am starting to realize this woman was a long time friend but maybe things end and new beginnings are around the corner.

 

Try focusing on the bad. The song thing sucks, big music guy myself...I feel for you man, good luck. Focus on the bad if you can, and for your own sanity stop thinking about her with other men...maybe think of yourself with other women or anything else.

[Sunkissedpatio]

So it's been 4 months ish, I think about my ex all day everyday, every spear moment she's in my head, some days tho the thoughts are not that intense and I can get on with my day and do my job but that only lasts 1-2 days then (like today) it dawns on me that I'm never going to see her again, I miss her so much and can't get out my head about her seeing other men, I don't know what she's up to been up to how her nursing job is going I know nothing and stew about it. I sit in my van and just wind myself up and constantly think things I shouldn't.

 

I'm not sure why I'm writing this as I know there's nothing no one can do, just some times helps with people's comments.

 

I SO know what you mean, for what it's worth and if it helps to know it we are right here with you experiencing the same kind of days. But it does get better. For me at least it has considerably. The moments of the lingering thoughts and sadness are few and far apart. Some days I feel anger and then that anger turns to sadness and then it passes and I feel pretty good.

 

I caught myself doing that for a while really winding myself up too, you need to get a handle on that somehow. Write it down when that happens, either here if it helps or if it is personal on a paper or your computer. We underestimate the power of putting thoughts down on paper, but the most obvious proof that it works is this site. Look at how many posts read like yours "I don't know why I am writing this and not sure I even want advice but here is it anyway" Because when we externalize those thoughts they stop circulating around in our brains wreaking havoc.

 

I went through a phase while at work when I felt consumed in thought I would write letters to my ex and to the other woman. I have plenty of letters in my draft folder of my persona email I never sent them of course the sender portion of the email is blank, but it helped me refocus at work again once I got the words out of my head and into "paper" try it, it might help you.

 

When the internal dialogue needs an escape offer an outlet for it.

[Pud]

She's got her graduation ball tonight and I know she's got a hotel room booked.

 

I can't get out my head how she's going to look so gorgeous in Her ball gown and how she will take another man back to her hotel room.

 

Why do I do it to myself? I constantly wind myself up and the thoughts go round and round my head, I woke up an 03:30am having a dream about her meeting another man in her ball gown.

 

I can't stop thinking over and over how can I stop the thoughts?

 

I'm so lost so so lost! I know I'm not going to sleep tonight.

[Satu]

Trying to stop yourself from thinking about this will do you more harm than good.

 

Just let the thoughts come and go like any other thoughts.

 

"You get what you resist."

 

 

Take care.

[GlobeTrotter9]

I feel for you man I really do, had a very similiar issue while trying to get over my ex.

 

Satu is right though, don't fight the feelings, it will only make you more frustrated and upset. Just accept that some days you'll think about her all the time, and other days you won't. Getting over someone is a process, and unfortunately this is just a stage.

 

Just do your best to stay busy, meet up with friends or go to the gym. Doing something productive can go a long way.

 

Wish you all the best pal

[Sadmummu]

I feel your pain...I'm going through something similar.....please try and keep strong....I try to push the thoughts out of my head....thinking what could be happening is just torturing yourself......but I know how difficult it is......you're not alone....we're all here for you xx

[Pud]

It is just pure torture, why I do it to myself I just don't know and just wish I could stop and enjoy life again.

 

The thoughts are the worst, my worst nightmare and I keep re living it every minute of the day.

 

My head hurts my mind hurts I need to stop but it just won't!

 

I know it's something I've just got to ride through but it's really hard right now.

 

Thanks you for all your comments

[Pud]

Today is a very low day for me, all these thoughts I just can't shift, I've back to how I was a month or so ago.

 

I have my son this weekend, he's nearly 8 and I can't stop thinking if she was here what we would be doing. We did have such good times as a little family and I miss them a lot.

 

I can't stop thinking how she's possibly moved on and met someone else, I've never been this hung up over anyone before in my life, but yet when we was together I constantly treated her badly and didn't give her the live that she deserved.

 

I can't stop beating myself up over the past, I can't stop these thoughts to the point I don't have fun with my son, don't get me wrong he has fun an we do stuff but constantly in my mind is my ex.

 

I just wish I could turn back time and be the boyfriend I know I can be and the boyfriend she deserves.

 

I'm truly hurt and struggling a lot

[Pud]

Why am I back to square 1, I feel like absolute crap this weekend and get her out my head, I was doing so well but the last 3 days have been like the first couple of months.

 

I don't seem to be getting any better at all.

 

The thoughts the wishful thinking that we could get back together, the day dreaming of how it used to be the good times, the lonliness is killing me. Constantly wishing she was here, constantly think what we would be doing if she was here....

 

Never ever been so bad after a relationship