minimariah Posted July 4, 2016 Share Posted July 4, 2016 By that logic, since I'm not always happy and satisfied in my marriage, I can go bang some dude who I spend enough time ignoring my primary relationship to develop feelings for... it's a bit chicken or egg here... not at all - affairs do not happen in a vacuum but there is a looooooong way from having a relationship crisis to having a full blown affair; if an affair is present (EA or PA or both)... then you need to figure out if it's a sign for you to focus on your relationship MORE or is it a sign for you to break up & try it out with someone else. they're at the point of an EA & right now - it's to make some decisions IF the OP was to decide to confess his feelings and have an open conversation. to be completely honest with you, Lobe... i can't understand why you think that's a bad idea. is it really a good relationship if it lasts ONLY because one of the partners never got a better "offer"? you should be with someone because you WANT to, no? not because nobody else never took an interest in you. and again, i'm talking an honest convo here. not chasing or seducing, not a longterm affair - and i believe it CAN be done. i've seen it done MANY times in the dating world; married APs with kids might not often leave their spouses but dating...? it's a very common thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Lobe Posted July 4, 2016 Share Posted July 4, 2016 And not one mention of my ex's feelings in the post above? Goes to show how deluded and selfish I'm being. Nice one guys, if I hadn't have vented this, I'd have probably got drunk and told her. Congratulations on sidestepping being the next episode of Jerry Springer. Again, thank you for demonstrating maturity, level-headedness, and sensitivity. If I was the queen, I'd knight you or something. If it's meant to be, you'll hear from her when she's single and has already cleared it with her sister... Link to post Share on other sites
Lobe Posted July 4, 2016 Share Posted July 4, 2016 to be completely honest with you, Lobe... i can't understand why you think that's a bad idea. is it really a good relationship if it lasts ONLY because one of the partners never got a better "offer"? you should be with someone because you WANT to, no? not because nobody else never took an interest in you. Cuz it's his x's sister. Cuz she's in a relationship already. That's enough for me. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted July 5, 2016 Share Posted July 5, 2016 Don't tell her and move on. Why would you want to have sex with your Exes sister of all the women in the universe. I wouldn't sleep with two brothers even 20 years later. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted July 5, 2016 Share Posted July 5, 2016 I think where I feel your logic is contradictory is that they are already in the early stages of the affair fog. Affairs happen in increments, and should they both continue in this vein instead of walking away so they both know if it's real or just "forbidden fruit" they both may do something regrettable. But like I said, maybe I'm just too old and traditional - I think you should never tend another man's garden, even when there's no lock on the gate. I totally agree with you Lobe. How very awkward to be in a relationship with your sisters Ex. I would not want to sleep with anyone that my sister had and vice versa I'm sure. It's way to Jerry Springer. Some people shouldn't be up for grabs and this is one of those people OP. How would you feel if your Ex took up with your brother (assuming you had one)? Steer clear. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author samjohnson Posted July 5, 2016 Author Share Posted July 5, 2016 (edited) ................................ Edited July 5, 2016 by samjohnson Link to post Share on other sites
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