Xidion Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 My original story can be found here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/585718-she-loves-me-will-regret-but-dumped-me It's been about a week since the breakup and 4 days NC at all.. Long story short.. it wasn't a bad or ugly breakup.. it was more of a situation that led to a breakup in which she said she loved me. My ex is still on my facebook. Today she posted this.. It is strange to think,I have not seen you in a month. I have seen the new moon,but not you. I have seen sunsets and sunrises,but nothing of your beautiful face. The pieces of my broken heart can pass through the eye of.. (It's a love poem from the movie A Knights Tale, which is both one of our favorite movies that we watched several times.. but that's only the first half of it.. I commented on it with the rest of it.. being..) ...a needle. I miss you like the sun misses the flower.Like the sun misses the flower in the depths of winter. Instead of beauty to direct its light to,the heart hardens like the frozen world your absence has sent me to. Hope guides me.It gets me through the day and especially the night.The hope that after you leave my sight it will not be the last time I look upon you. I did it because it made me think of the times we watched that movie together, and no other reason.. (well maybe).. 45 minutes later she posted a photo to her page that says.. "I wish I could have stayed in your life, but I was too much and not enough all at the same time". I'm guessing that was meant for me since it was soon after i replied to her post. Thoughts on this? 1
bathtub-row Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 She seems to love and miss you a great deal, but seems very conflicted about being with you. What's that about? 1
LD1990 Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 It's a meaningless interaction on social media. She made her choice already, and it wasn't you. This doesn't change that. You're not in NC if you're still Facebook friends, and having her as a friend is only going to slow you down as you move on. This hurts right now, but it'll get better quickly if you take her off your social media and stop holding onto hope of getting back together. The last thing you should want to do is give up your life raising some other guy's kid with her. 3
Satu Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 snip I'm guessing that was meant for me since it was soon after i replied to her post. *Thoughts on this? *Tasty breadcrumbs, but not enough to stave off hunger. 6
bummer Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 (edited) Man, I was excited her response to you finishing thst poem was going to be her at your house apologizing and asking you to try again. Instead, she indirectly craps on you with one of those awful photos with text basically saying "it's not you, it's me" which is code for "bye, please don't hate me?" Oh, and she posted it on her wall so everyone else could see her crap on you. Sorry, dude. Edited June 30, 2016 by bummer 2
privategal Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 You took the bait now she got another ego stroke AND publicly rejected you. Get off social media and go stone silent nc. I would actually deactivate your account. You can go back later and nothing with your friends list or posts changes. Just take a few months off and enjoy summer. Sorry hon, this is over and friends doesnt work. 1
Trinity_84 Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 45 minutes later she posted a photo to her page that says.. "I wish I could have stayed in your life, but I was too much and not enough all at the same time". Thoughts on this? OUCH. That's my initial thought. She baited you, got the answer she hoped for and then burned you, all in public. I would suggest removing her from your Facebook friend list and really go NC this time. Take the break up at face value and start moving on with your life. You deserve so much better than this treatment! I know, "easier said than done," but it can be done, and should be done. For your own sake. Good luck. 1
Author Xidion Posted July 1, 2016 Author Posted July 1, 2016 it's all one big mess, she commented on that post today with a broken heart emoji, then texted me today throughout the day telling me that she found out via facebook that i was liking and commenting on other girls pictures while we were together (which was completely untrue). I asked her to tell me who and she wouldnt say. She said that the comment i left on that messed with her emotions really bad and that since she found out i commented on other girls pictures while we were together (again, not true at all) that she can feel less bad about her decision. She also said she "will always be in love with me" but at least she can have me as a friend and that's better than nothing... I told her she doesn't get me as a friend.. there was much more but im drunk and dont feel like typing it out. I really don't understand her. It's like she feel so much guilt over it, she's trying to find a way out of the guilt.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 1, 2016 Posted July 1, 2016 it's all one big mess, she commented on that post today with a broken heart emoji, then texted me today throughout the day telling me that she found out via facebook that i was liking and commenting on other girls pictures while we were together (which was completely untrue). I asked her to tell me who and she wouldnt say. She said that the comment i left on that messed with her emotions really bad and that since she found out i commented on other girls pictures while we were together (again, not true at all) that she can feel less bad about her decision. She also said she "will always be in love with me" but at least she can have me as a friend and that's better than nothing... I told her she doesn't get me as a friend.. there was much more but im drunk and dont feel like typing it out. I really don't understand her. It's like she feel so much guilt over it, she's trying to find a way out of the guilt. Bingo. Add to the above little "You liked another girl's picture..but I won't tell you who!"-game, and you've got an immature person. She wants attention, but she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. Go real No Contact and get her off your social media. 1
Author Xidion Posted July 1, 2016 Author Posted July 1, 2016 I think you're right about her wanting attention. She removed her broken heart emotional and the picture that said "I wish I could have stayed in your life, but I was too much and not enough at the same time". No doubt trying to pull a reaction out of me. It won't work. I'm not talking to her 1
Lois_Griffin Posted July 1, 2016 Posted July 1, 2016 Unless you're a brainless teenage kid, stop living your life over social media.
Author Xidion Posted July 1, 2016 Author Posted July 1, 2016 Unless you're a brainless teenage kid, stop living your life over social media. I'm not, I just find her actions peculiar, especially since she was one of the most mature girls I've met, relatively speaking
elaine567 Posted July 1, 2016 Posted July 1, 2016 You assumed she was speaking to you via her fb status poem, maybe not. YOU got stuck in the middle of two people who had a baby together, she chose him*, please walk away for your own sake. Some dumpers can get all caught up in the "romance" of the break up, they may like to wallow in some sort of "heartbroken" state and feel very sorry for themselves. "Oh woe is me" BUT does it mean they actually want you back, NO. She sounds like one of them. *I guess he is not quite as bad as the picture she painted of him for your benefit.
Author Xidion Posted July 1, 2016 Author Posted July 1, 2016 You assumed she was speaking to you via her fb status poem, maybe not. YOU got stuck in the middle of two people who had a baby together, she chose him*, please walk away for your own sake. Some dumpers can get all caught up in the "romance" of the break up, they may like to wallow in some sort of "heartbroken" state and feel very sorry for themselves. "Oh woe is me" BUT does it mean they actually want you back, NO. She sounds like one of them. *I guess he is not quite as bad as the picture she painted of him for your benefit. Well, I know the poem was for me because she said "I knew you would know the poem was for you". Not all of our communication yesterday was arguing. She still didn't give any inclination of her decision changing, which is fine, but she throws out the "I'll always be in love with you ". I called her out on telling me she loved me as we were breaking up, she said she would have said it sooner if she had any idea that I felt the same.. she admitted to holding back due to fear. She also said things would have been different if so. Her story changed completely from wanting to have a family with the father from before to now saying that it was me not "committing" to her sooner. I don't think she really knows what's going on in her own head. 1
bummer Posted July 1, 2016 Posted July 1, 2016 (edited) Her story changed completely from wanting to have a family with the father from before to now saying that it was me not "committing" to her sooner. I don't think she really knows what's going on in her own head. Gah i wish youd go out and nail your hot chicks and leave this alone... Like I said in your other post and like you know, her dumb pretty brain will turn on real dad in a few months and she'll come back to you as the backup. A beautiful relationship built on convenience. She has no idea what's in her head with the hormones either. Leave her alone to care for her child. Read the NC rules again and hangout with us instead of watching turds fly on your fb feed. Edited July 1, 2016 by bummer 1
Giggles666 Posted July 1, 2016 Posted July 1, 2016 //I really don't understand her. It's like she feel so much guilt over it, she's trying to find a way out of the guilt.// You understand this just fine. Try not to over analyze things, which is easier said than done. Sometimes a person who dumps someone also feels some guilt and hurt. Sometimes they try to alleviate it with things like this, or "at least we are friends". It's not always malicious or an agenda, sometimes it is. Like everyone else is saying, move on and go no contact. She made a choice, you seem like a nice guy....go heal, go be happy.
LD1990 Posted July 1, 2016 Posted July 1, 2016 Two things people like: 1. Having admirers of the opposite sex. 2. Having options. Right now, you're the chump this girl has on the side fulfilling both those needs for her. She knows you want her, so she gets her ego boost, and she knows that should things go south with her boyfriend, she can go running into your arms as long as she makes up a good enough story about how "it was always you she truly loved." You can say you're not going to play those games, but if you're constantly monitoring her social media, you are. You're sitting on your computer analyzing her stupid little status update poetry while she changes diapers and gets railed by the guy she's seeing. She's not worth the headache. You should block her ass, get on with your life, and start dating other women. 1
elaine567 Posted July 1, 2016 Posted July 1, 2016 Her story changed completely from wanting to have a family with the father from before to now saying that it was me not "committing" to her sooner. I don't think she really knows what's going on in her own head. She is a young women with a new born, she will want to keep as many options open as she can, in case she is left all alone with her child. Her priority is her child and her own financial security going forward She opted for the biological father as her best bet, and dumped you, but as you are still hanging around she also wants to keep you sweet in case the biological father decides to go AWOL. Although I know that all sounds a bit mercenary on her part, but it is not personal, she is just in survival mode. 1
Author Xidion Posted July 1, 2016 Author Posted July 1, 2016 I finally found the courage to remove her from my Facebook, deleted all texts between us, and deleted any photos of her/us. 2
bummer Posted July 2, 2016 Posted July 2, 2016 I finally found the courage to remove her from my Facebook, deleted all texts between us, and deleted any photos of her/us. Good. You're missing the final step. Block. Nothing out, but also nothing in.
Author Xidion Posted July 2, 2016 Author Posted July 2, 2016 Good. You're missing the final step. Block. Nothing out, but also nothing in. Blocked last night. I'm ready to heal and move on. 1
Recommended Posts