going through a happy/sad break up

[wedt]

my boyfriend (scorpio) of 3 years broke up with me (virgo) a couple days ago. it's been rough because we live together and haven't seperated completely yet. our relationship was great. we both agreed that it was the best we've ever had. it ended on really good terms. he told me he just wanted to be alone and didnt want to be in a relationship anymore so he could focus on himself. he struggles with self-happiness. he comes from a dark place. throughout our relationship, he'd find himself back in this dark place that hes so used to being in. the result of that would be to push me away. to push away all the happiness he had been feeling cause hes used to having nothing (also his words). it took me a few times to understand and accept this about him and it took him a long time to open up and actually talk to me. i accepted, supported, and was there for him as best i could. so then about 3 weeks ago he said there was things he wanted to talk about but he needed some time, so i gave him time. he was more distant, wouldnt text me as music, was going out most nights which was fine because i wanted to give him his space. but when he was home, everything was normal and fine. you wouldnt even think there was anything wrong. laughing, fooling around, and some nights we'd go for dinner or just hang out. and then he broke up with me because i told him i wanted to talk to him about a few things. and i feel like he just did it not even being 100% prepared. he couldnt say much other than he just needed be alone and hes not in a good place with himself. he told me he loves me and that it wasnt anything i did and there was nothing bad about our relationship. he couldnt really say much which upset me cause it was this huge thing and he wouldnt talk to me about it. he was just full of anger. he said we'd talk tomorrow and then he left and went out. we ended up talking the next day and he was more calm. he still didnt really explain much, but i understood where he was coming from because i know him to be in this place. i took a minute and thought about it and decided to just let it go. i love us, but i love him more. and i wanted him to find happiness within himself even if it was without me. i was devestated, still am. but i wanted to keep myself together because i wanted us to end on a happy note. and im so glad we did. i realized after, that it wasnt just him who needed to be alone, but i did too. what im having a difficult time with now, is post-breakup. i wasnt sure what i was expecting. i was glad we left everything on a good note. but hes just been super distant (understandable) but what hurts me the most is that he acts like he doesnt give a rats ass about me. and yes, deep down i know he does. hes told me. but its that feeling that i dont get and it really hurts. i feel like nothing to him. and there are times i break down and talk to him about it and i hate it but i cant help it. but i know this is just how he is and how he wants to deal with it. we love each other very deeply. i really think we're meant for each other. his best friend, who is also my friend, thinks that we just need a break and that he will come back. i have a feeling he will, but i dont really want to put that in my mind and get my hopes up. theres something inside me that tells me its not over for good. but its so hard to tell with him. does he just need space and time for himself? is there a chance he will come back after he figures himself out? im not expecting it... but of course im open to it. he also said that hes open to it. but is he just saying that? hes just so good at hiding all of feelings. hes a very emotional person on the inside, i think im the only one whos actually seen that side of him. he really opened himself up to me when we were together. has anyone experienced anything similar or having any advice on how i should continue on? right now im just giving him his space. not really saying much unless he does. we live together so its difficult, but hes barely home now anyways. we are eventually both moving out but its gonna take some time. anyways... would love to hear anyones feedback.

[ajp1999]

I'm so sorry u r hurting. Maybe u two could get some counseling ? I've learned from my my own past break up space is not always good. Sometimes by need to confront issues rifht away before they fester.