Anyone ever date someone who is Bipolar?

[katiegrl]

where did you get that bull****? both Bipolar I and II are equally serious and just as hard to treat and maintain. The main difference is that Bipolar I is found equally among males and females whereas Bipolar II manifests itself in more women than men.

 

I have Bipolar II and know for a fact it is less severe. It is still severe but not "as" severe as Bipolar I.

 

Do your research.... I posted a couple of differences between the two, the main one being sufferers from Bipolar I can have psychotic episodes and periods of severe mania.

 

Bipolar II sufferers experience NO periods of psychosis OR mania.... only hypomania. Huge difference between hypomania and mania.

 

If sufferers from Biploar II experience a MANIC episode than the diagnosis changes to Bipolar I.

 

Both I and II experience episodes of depression. My depressions were deep and long lasting. More difficult to manage than my highs.

 

I actually love my highs.... lol

 

Again, I have been living with this disease for years, I have seen several doctors and know about this disease inside and out. I HAVE IT.

 

I hesitate to say suffer as I am not suffering from it anymore. I manage it, through exercise, a healthy diet, and therapy.

 

I used to be on meds but I don't need them anymore.... as being that I have Bipolar II and not I, I do not experience any episodes of psychosis or mania.

Edited May 27, 2016 by katiegrl

[coolheadal]

I had one with a lot of disorders beside bipolar, but she was nice at first then after a while it hit me! She had started to act up on me. I don't hit women I strongly feel that way. But I will protect myself but never hitting them. (means I take the hits) This one she hand jump on me grab me won't let go! I don't know how I had put up with for so long. Once she had attack me over Puff Ultra Lotion Tissues. I said I was returning them since you not using them and haven't open them up. She had gone berserk and grab the package she had ripped them open I was going to return. The only reason why she had several open up already. She said there you go don't have to return them now! LOL

Edited May 27, 2016 by coolheadal

[Jabron1]

I'll keep it simple: start reading up on push/pull, OP

[Imajerk17]

I have a really good friend who is bipolar II. One of the kindest most self-aware person I know.

 

The way I see it, bipolar is kind of like diabetes in the sense that having it has nothing to do w character, and if treated, one can lead a life hardly affected by it.

Edited May 27, 2016 by Imajerk17

[preraph]

^ I agree it's not an automatic sentence, but it does depend on the degree. My friend was a lot of fun -- until she was not, and it got worse as she got older.

[Dis]

All of you must have dated woman who had......UNTREATED BIPOLAR

 

There is a big difference between a woman who has untreated bipolar and a woman who is under effective treatment for bipolar

 

Like I said, I have bipolar....I also dont have any symptoms and havent for years...so dating me is just like dating any other well adjusted woman

 

Discriminating against/or not dating a woman just because she has a bipolar diagnosis is ridiculous.

 

While I would never date someone who had an untreated mental illness (been there done that) I would have no problem dating someone who was under treatment and functioning normally.

 

Because of my struggles with bipolar I have a tremendous amount of compassion, strength and a sunny dispostion that transfers over into my relationships. And I'm actually alot less moody than alot of woman...maybe because after what I've been through... I know what is worth complaining about and whats not.

 

Everyday since I have recovered and have my health in tact I'm all sunshine and roses....my bf tells me he likes how I'm always happy...I have no reason not to be now

[katiegrl]

A post right now in the break ups section from a guy who dated a bi polar girl, and his experiences. Not good. I'm not saying all bi polar people are this way, but enough are that I would avoid them.

 

There is so much ignorance about this disease.

 

Have you been reading these responses? From those of us who have it and have had successful relationships?

 

Not everyone's Bipolar is the same.

 

There are differences in severity depending on whether it is Bipolar I or II, whether the person is on meds, being treated, etc.

 

Whether the person also suffers from another disorder, like Borderline for example, as bipolar and borderline can manifest in the same person simultaneously.

 

That said, I just read the thread in the breakup section.

 

His gf's behavior is BAD for sure ........ but good lord you cannot possibly blame the entire breakdown of that relationship *only* on her.

 

The OP clearly has issues too, serious issues.... which he should seek help for as well.

 

However if you wish to avoid a relationship with a woman who has been diagnosed with this disease, that is certainly your prerogative.

Edited May 28, 2016 by katiegrl

[joseb]

OP, I read your other thread about your dog dying :

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/582277-dating-nearly-2-months-i-needed-space

and your girlfriends lack of empathy - I'm wondering if she may also have BPD, as lack of empathy is often associated with that, at least in certain circumstances.

 

I really don't think you can blame her Bipolar for a lot of that behaviour.

[Dork Vader]

Thanks for all the great information and opinions.

 

Whether it is BPD or Bipolar or other mental illnesses. The fact will remain that she does have something going on. She is aware of it and in treatment for it, she does take medications that help, but from time to time symptoms will show up.

 

That is no different then me being OCD. I take some of the stronger OCD medications on the market that are specifically for OCD. OCD symptoms will still pop up from time to time, especially when I am under a lot of stress.

 

I did see my therapist on Thursday night we spoke quite a bit about these things. He said these things can be fairly common in relationships with people who are Bipolar. He also said that not everyones Bipolar is the same Mania and depression will manifest it's self in different ways. Just like my OCD anxiety will manifest in different ways.

 

I will how ever do more research on BPD and so on.

 

My girl friend and I actually had a really good conversation about everything last night.

[LivingWaterPlease]

I did see my therapist on Thursday night we spoke quite a bit about these things. He said these things can be fairly common in relationships with people who are Bipolar. He also said that not everyones Bipolar is the same Mania and depression will manifest it's self in different ways. Just like my OCD anxiety will manifest in different ways.

 

I will how ever do more research on BPD and so on.

 

My girl friend and I actually had a really good conversation about everything last night.

 

Great that you are communicating about it and also that you are taking the time to research the situation.

 

I posted about my sister and her son and after doing so wish I had written that I believe she also has BPD, but don't know if she's been diagnosed with this or not.

 

Also, another poster pointed out that bipolar presents uniquely in every individual so that bears weighing, too, when considering a relationship with someone who deals with this.

 

What I have noticed about her with her boyfriends and husbands is that she tends to pair up with men who aren't sensitive types yet are very kind types of people. I suppose she pairs up with insensitive men because these men aren't bothered by things that may bother someone who is more sensitive. The insensitivity of her partners annoys her greatly and triggers her at times, though. So, those are the men who can tolerate her yet she has a more difficult time tolerating them.

 

As to her son, whom I wrote about, I've wondered if he doesn't also have a degree of Asperger's. So, both of these relatives probably have some other disorders, too.

Edited May 29, 2016 by LivingWaterPlease

[Mariposa83]

I have been feeling like my needs in this relationship are on the back burner. It would be fine if it were just a few things.. But I'm unsatisified sexually and this last week has left me feeling some what unsatisfied emotionally as well.

 

I am currently

 

BPD has a spectrum of disorders, and vary greatly.

Good things is that she is open to talking to you. Also that she is committed to her treatment. Treatment should be multidisciplinary as with any other disease; including medication, therapy, lifestyle changes. Its very important the commitment of the person, as well as the environment, as outside factors can trigger symptoms.

 

I would say its certainly more complicated than dating someone with diabetes or HTN as someone mentioned. Mood disorders can affect EVERYTHING, because it affects the person as much as those around them. It's usually more complicated. However, like any disease, its as important to keep checking in with symptoms to see how treatment is working. This involves the person being conscientious of their feelings/symptoms, their therapist and their family and SO.

 

I would really advise you to go to therapy together. Both for your well being and for the relationship. This may be hard and uncomfortable, but BPD can affect the people around the person that suffers from it as much as it affects the patient.

 

I do not want to offend sufferers, but as someone that loves, dates and has known a person with BPD for years and who's brother suffers from it as well, I cannot express how hard it can be to love someone with BPD. It takes a lot of love, patience and commitment. It can be very emotionally draining if the person is not well treated. During episodes, it can be very hard to reason with them. They usually don't recognize what they are doing different and can be extremely cold and harsh. They can act totally like somebody else; as someone you do not recognize. Sometimes you can see them and don't believe this is the same person you love so much. You can feel guilty or responsible for their episodes. Sometimes you wish you could do something and if when the person cycles, you may think that you must be doing something wrong. Its very easy to fall into this trap. It can really harm your self esteem and trust. THAT'S why its so important that both seek help. Even when things are good, because there is no cure and its best to be prepared for a crisis.

 

But, if thats not an option, both need to pay attention to triggers. Its important to know that its not your fault. However, you are not off the hook. For example: arguments may very well trigger an episode.. But even when you may want to learn how to avoid arguments, if it happens, its not your fault. Don't feel guilty, because it will consume you may rob you of your freedom in the relationship.

 

Thats why as far as your needs being on the back burner, I can totally relate. I would say get used to it, but try to fight it. It's important to take care of your loved one, but also to take care of yourself. Don't let this become a habit, because it's very easy for that to happen.

 

Also, like i said, because this is a mood disorder, it can influence everything. It can affect her emotions, actions, reactions, thoughts, you name it. BUT, this is also a person, just like everyone else and she has a right to feel, act, react, think. She is not a disease, she is not medications. This part is very hard for everyone. Just because she is acting weird, throws a tantrum, is irritable, is distant, doesn't mean its her BPD. It doesn't mean she's not taking her meds or whatever. We all do that, and not everyone has BDP. So be gentle, be understanding. Don't fall into that trap of blaming everything on her BPD, because its not fair for anyone. It will hurt her and hurt the relationship. BUT... don't just take crap either. Don't excuse her actions. If she acts out, call her out just as you would with anyone. If she is mean, tell her. Yes, you have to be understanding, but not permissive.

 

It's challenging, but not impossible. Sorry there's no simple answer and my response is so long. It's because it's complicated

 

Educate yourself. That's the best tool. Go on forums, ready books and stories, find local support groups, seek therapy.

Edited May 29, 2016 by Mariposa83

[Mariposa83]

The question you want to ask yourself is, in fact, why is it that you want to date someone with a mental illness? Why are you looking to get tangled in a codependent relationship?

I see what you mean, since the OP is aware of the diagnosis. But its more than that. Can we really chose who we love or who we're attracted to?

 

Sometimes, like in my case, the person is diagnosed later on. Sometimes you go into it knowing the diagnosis. There are many reasons. I don't believe there's a simple answer or we can rationalize this, simply because we cannot rationalize LOVE or plain attraction. Even without treatment, a person can be symptom free for a long time. So the partner may not suspect, because there is nothing to suspect yet.

[alphamale]

The way I see it, bipolar is kind of like diabetes in the sense that having it has nothing to do w character, and if treated, one can lead a life hardly affected by it.

that is pretty accurate

[Emilia]

I see what you mean, since the OP is aware of the diagnosis. But its more than that. Can we really chose who we love or who we're attracted to?

 

Sometimes, like in my case, the person is diagnosed later on. Sometimes you go into it knowing the diagnosis. There are many reasons. I don't believe there's a simple answer or we can rationalize this, simply because we cannot rationalize LOVE or plain attraction. Even without treatment, a person can be symptom free for a long time. So the partner may not suspect, because there is nothing to suspect yet.

You can find someone else though? Would you keep dating an alcoholic just because you love them?

[Emilia]

 

Thats why as far as your needs being on the back burner, I can totally relate. I would say get used to it, but try to fight it. It's important to take care of your loved one, but also to take care of yourself. Don't let this become a habit, because it's very easy for that to happen.

 

Also, like i said, because this is a mood disorder, it can influence everything. It can affect her emotions, actions, reactions, thoughts, you name it. BUT, this is also a person, just like everyone else and she has a right to feel, act, react, think. She is not a disease, she is not medications. This part is very hard for everyone. Just because she is acting weird, throws a tantrum, is irritable, is distant, doesn't mean its her BPD. It doesn't mean she's not taking her meds or whatever. We all do that, and not everyone has BDP. So be gentle, be understanding. Don't fall into that trap of blaming everything on her BPD, because its not fair for anyone. It will hurt her and hurt the relationship. BUT... don't just take crap either. Don't excuse her actions. If she acts out, call her out just as you would with anyone. If she is mean, tell her. Yes, you have to be understanding, but not permissive.

 

It's challenging, but not impossible. Sorry there's no simple answer and my response is so long. It's because it's complicated

 

Educate yourself. That's the best tool. Go on forums, ready books and stories, find local support groups, seek therapy.

Bipolar and BPD are two different things.

 

what you are describing here is a codependent relationship

 

Codependency ? Out of the FOG

[katiegrl]

I see what you mean, since the OP is aware of the diagnosis. But its more than that. Can we really chose who we love or who we're attracted to?

 

Sometimes, like in my case, the person is diagnosed later on. Sometimes you go into it knowing the diagnosis. There are many reasons. I don't believe there's a simple answer or we can rationalize this, simply because we cannot rationalize LOVE or plain attraction. Even without treatment, a person can be symptom free for a long time. So the partner may not suspect, because there is nothing to suspect yet.

 

I ended my six year relationship last December, with the love of my life, the man to whom I was engaged to be married .... because I discovered he was a drug addict.

 

Promised rehab but then LIED and continued using.

 

So I left.

 

So yes it can and should be done if the situation warrants it....

[thelastunicorn]

I've heard horror stories from two male friends that were engaged to bipolar women and then broke off the engagements because both times the girl stopped taking her meds. They described it like being with a completely different person. It's important to note that these women waited until they were engaged to mention they were bipolar which is shady af.

 

One of my best friends in college was also bipolar. I love her and she's one of the most amazing people I've ever met, however I've seen her when she's not on her medication and I would have major reservations.

 

Really you should be asking yourself if you have the patience, empathy, and ability to care enough to get over the hurdles her being bipolar may cause.

[katiegrl]

I've heard horror stories from two male friends that were engaged to bipolar women and then broke off the engagements because both times the girl stopped taking her meds. They described it like being with a completely different person. It's important to note that these women waited until they were engaged to mention they were bipolar which is shady af.

 

One of my best friends in college was also bipolar. I love her and she's one of the most amazing people I've ever met, however I've seen her when she's not on her medication and I would have major reservations.

 

Really you should be asking yourself if you have the patience, empathy, and ability to care enough to get over the hurdles her being bipolar may cause.

 

I have Bipolar II, so never experienced this, but I used to work with an attorney who had Bipolar I who experienced psychotic episodes from time to time.

 

One time he was found running around the streets naked, in the middle of the night screaming aliens were trying to abduct him, then to seek shelter he attempted to break into the building where we worked, still naked, where the police arrested him and took him into custody.

 

Another time, we would be working and he would appear to be perfectly coherent one minute, but then would suddenly start staring into space and then proceed to tell me how there was a conspiracy against the US and soon we would all be blown up by a nuclear explosion. He really believed this and went around warning all the folks in the other offices about it too.

 

We would have to call his family for them to come get him. Then he would be out for a few weeks, then return and would seem okay for a while, then become psychotic again.

 

He told me one day while we were out, that he was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder I, but does not like to take his meds due the side effects.

 

When not experiencing these psychotic episodes he was actually a brilliant attorney, wrote excellent legal briefs, etc.

 

He finally left the firm, don't know where he is now.

Edited May 31, 2016 by katiegrl

[Tressugar]

Yes and if you continue to date them you'll end up just as crazy as they are.

 

In my case, my ex is bipolar and an alcoholic. Trust me that combination doesn't mesh well.