Toodaloo Posted July 5, 2016 Posted July 5, 2016 Not long now. August is only a couple of weeks away. Just out of curiosity why on earth should she have half the house if she was earn just as much as you but you were/ are paying all the bills? You need to have words with your solicitor about that... Chin up chook. Keep going. 2
tinkerbell16 Posted July 5, 2016 Posted July 5, 2016 The trigger is her being there can you take the rental sooner then August?
Author Andrew42 Posted July 5, 2016 Author Posted July 5, 2016 Unfortunately I can't get it any sooner than mid August, I wish I could. I have a telephone appointment with the solicitors tomorrow afternoon to discuss what if any the options are with me proving she has made zero contributions to the mortgage 2
Toodaloo Posted July 5, 2016 Posted July 5, 2016 That takes the piss for her not to contribute at all... Sod that. I tell you Andrew in a few months time when all this is over and you can calm down a bit you are going to look back and think to yourself "what the hell was I doing with that!?!?!" Life is going to get a whole heap better for you soon. Just got to get through this rough patch first.
Author Andrew42 Posted July 5, 2016 Author Posted July 5, 2016 That takes the piss for her not to contribute at all... Sod that. I tell you Andrew in a few months time when all this is over and you can calm down a bit you are going to look back and think to yourself "what the hell was I doing with that!?!?!" Life is going to get a whole heap better for you soon. Just got to get through this rough patch first. I just want to feel normal again
tinkerbell16 Posted July 5, 2016 Posted July 5, 2016 I just want to feel normal again Here in the States there is a nationwide divorce support groups where you can actually meet and gain support. They also had group meetings for children. I am not sure where you live but there should be something similar near you. If nothing more, it will get you out of the house for a few hours a week. Divorce | Divorce Support Group | Getting over a break up | Professional Divorce Help.
Toodaloo Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 What about Relate? Do you have a local branch? As for feeling normal again. Don't worry - you will. This is just one of lifes blips and you can get through this and come out the better man. Just keep moving forward. Doesn't matter how fast or slow. Just keep moving forward. Eventually you will feel special and not just normal. Just keep going.
tinkerbell16 Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 I'm in Nottingham England click the link I provided and you can put your zip code in to find local support groups.
Author Andrew42 Posted July 6, 2016 Author Posted July 6, 2016 Thanks, there's no groups in my area but I'm Going later for a 1-2-1 session
beatcuff Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 OP it is obvious she is NOT going anywhere and after 37 pages and hundreds... find a team sport you enjoy. you are in england, so i assume football (ouch iceland, seriously?). there are leagues for every age group and ability (around here they have learn to skate: ice hockey for middle aged women). most are once a week. the exercise and social aspect are what you are looking for not the wins. you will quickly find yourself looking forward to it, for that hour or so your mind will be on the game not your wife: such a relief. this is why 'going to the gym' fails. too much idle time to think. your goal is to clear your mind. further most leagues 'hang out' afterwards --- DO IT. you are rebuilding your social skills, your network, your LIFE. above all do it TODAY.
Author Andrew42 Posted July 6, 2016 Author Posted July 6, 2016 Your right she ain't going anywhere.... YET, in about 4 weeks she ain't got no choice because me and my lad are going and she can't afford it on her own. Thanks for reminding me about Iceland !!!!!!! We have seats over here at Nottingham Forest (google them) So once the season starts in August we will be all over with them
Kwacker39 Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 Andrew , consider yourself lucky . At least you have Forest - my local team is York City ! Chin up fella - seems like there's light at the end of your tunnel regarding your personal **** storm .
Author Andrew42 Posted July 6, 2016 Author Posted July 6, 2016 Thanks, the storm is def still going strong, there's lie after lie after lie being told by her, it's gonna all catch up with her at some point
Bufo Posted July 7, 2016 Posted July 7, 2016 Her lies may catch up with her, or they won't. That issue is a side show compared with the main event which is detaching from her, protecting your child, and protecting yourself financially and emotionally. Consider her gone. Imagine the reduced stress in your life. You can start on that journey now and heal earlier. Keep telling yourself that every minute you spend thinking about her or your marriage is a wasted minute. There are only so many minutes in a day. Use them for you. Not her. 1
tinkerbell16 Posted July 7, 2016 Posted July 7, 2016 Thanks, the storm is def still going strong, there's lie after lie after lie being told by her, it's gonna all catch up with her at some point You gotta wonder if she actually IS pregnant?
Author Andrew42 Posted July 7, 2016 Author Posted July 7, 2016 Yeah she's def pregnant I've seen the paperwork she's left about
tinkerbell16 Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 Yeah she's def pregnant I've seen the paperwork she's left about Well... that is that then. Look at the bright side, you have Ben and you will bond even more with him through this journey you are on together.
Author Andrew42 Posted July 9, 2016 Author Posted July 9, 2016 Well things may be moving slightly, I'm just waiting for a copy of the marriage certificate so I can start divorce proceedings. The house potentially has a buyer, so fingers crossed the next few weeks I may be able to kick her out
tinkerbell16 Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 Well things may be moving slightly, I'm just waiting for a copy of the marriage certificate so I can start divorce proceedings. The house potentially has a buyer, so fingers crossed the next few weeks I may be able to kick her out fingers crossed for you buddy ") you are due for some good news!
SevenCity Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 I read through the entire 38 pages of this thread and I'm heartbroken for you. This is a ***** storm no one deserves. I see that you are starting to accept the situation which means you are going through the recovery process. I know it hurts, but her doing and saying all these things will help in the long run. The mixed signals and clinging to hope are the worst because you can't start healing until those thoughts are abandoned. Once you face the reality, your journey to your new life can officially begin. The person you loved is dead. Down the line you won't even care. You'll think fondly of the good memories but will never want to subject yourself to that ever again. Once you are past the hurt, you will see the warning signs you missed and not fall for it again with another woman. God speed my friend. 1
elaine567 Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 The house potentially has a buyer, so fingers crossed the next few weeks I may be able to kick her out Forget kicking her out, look where that landed you the last time. As she owns half, she can legally stay as long as you can. 1
Author Andrew42 Posted July 11, 2016 Author Posted July 11, 2016 If the house is in my name only then she will be shown the door. I still feel really down some days, in fact more down than up.
Author Andrew42 Posted July 11, 2016 Author Posted July 11, 2016 I read through the entire 38 pages of this thread and I'm heartbroken for you. This is a ***** storm no one deserves. I see that you are starting to accept the situation which means you are going through the recovery process. I know it hurts, but her doing and saying all these things will help in the long run. The mixed signals and clinging to hope are the worst because you can't start healing until those thoughts are abandoned. Once you face the reality, your journey to your new life can officially begin. The person you loved is dead. Down the line you won't even care. You'll think fondly of the good memories but will never want to subject yourself to that ever again. Once you are past the hurt, you will see the warning signs you missed and not fall for it again with another woman. God speed my friend. Your right I can't get those thoughts out my head at the moment
Recommended Posts