Anyone have difficulty dating bartenders or night club workers?

[MissBee]

I'm not talking stripper's. But if you feel so inclined by all means chime in.

 

My issue is my serious GF whom I do love has a bar job at a nice steakhouse. She will be expected to work late til 1130. Which is early for bars. My situation is that I make plenty of money and don't need to get rent, or anything from her to make bills. Well last night she works from 4 til 1130 and I don't hear from her at all...usually I get multiple texts through the night, telling me about to leave....almost done ....around 930. This time it was silence til she was already driving. I know she stayed after for drinks with her coworkers or customers I'm not stupid. The girl wants me to marry her and after last night I bluntly told her if you still want that from me ...the night shift stops . I don't mind day shift 11-5pm which includes happy hour....if shoes were reversed and I was a bartender with female bosses and clients who all wanted to screw me then yes she would feel the same as me.

 

No offense to anyone in that line of work, it's good money and a fun job at times. As a husband I just won't allow it.

 

 

Advice criticism is welcome

 

 

I find the language of "allowing" when talking about other adults who are not your children and what they choose to do very strange. All of this seems to be about issues of control and insecurity. If people want to sleep with her so what? Unless SHE also wants to sleep with them, then it shouldn't be a problem, and is where control comes in, as you cannot control what she does and it is 100% her choice to sleep with others or be faithful.

 

People cheat EVERYDAY and believe me, they are not only bartenders, strippers or nightclub workers but people with regular 9-5 jobs. Please read the infidelity and OW/OM forum here. MOST of the cheating and affair stories are not about meeting at a club, these people meet at their cubicle, the gym, online, all kinds of places and in ways that can happen in front of your eyes and it's not something that's just lurking in the dark behind the bottles of whisky at the club.

 

Also, you KNEW what her job was all along...so why the problem now? If that's not your speed don't date her. But don't date someone then expect they get a new job or lifestyle for you. It's also silly to make marriage something you bargain with her for like a child, like "If you clean your room you'll get to go to the party." "If you work only day time I'll marry you..." like really???!!! Sorry, but if I were her I'd find someone who was more comfortable or who at least didn't try to wave marriage in front of me like a reward for doing what they want. It seems you two may just be incompatible.

[preraph]

Your gf is smart not to set aside her way of making a living for a man. At best, in marriage, the odds are 50/50. Much less not married for it lasting. A smart woman should never give up her way to support herself because while it is always tempting to let someone pay for everything, for most independent women, it is not preferable because it usually leaves them in a less powerful position as a partner and because one day when it comes to an end they will be stranded without a means of support.

 

She wants to marry you . Why would she want to marry you if she is more interested in these guys at the bar? You're being controlling and unreasonable. You either trust her or you don't. And you don't, so you shouldn't marry her.

[jen1447]

People act like its controlling to want to know where your significant other is late at night but it really isn't.

When you know the person you love is out late and probably has had a couple or drinks its normal to worry about them and wonder if they need a ride home. The request for a call letting you know what's going on isn't too much.

 

Unfortunately he's not just asking for a courtesy call, he's requiring she not work late at the restaurant anymore. (Or he'll withdraw his offer of marriage apparently.) That's controlling.

 

btw, even tho hanky panky goes on everywhere, pretty much all the ppl I've known who've worked in the bar industry have been too busy busting their asses at work to get up to too much else.

[Imajerk17]

Beachguy I'm confused:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/578227-whats-your-advice-girl-i-just-started-dating

 

From your previous thread you are 17 and just started dating. What's going on here?

[ChickiePops]

Beachguy I'm confused:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/578227-whats-your-advice-girl-i-just-started-dating

 

From your previous thread you are 17 and just started dating. What's going on here?

 

And cue the 'I was posting for someone else' in 5...4...3...

 

Beachguy, whichever, if either, of the threads you posted are true, you're obviously very concerned with what your girlfriends do when you're not there. Where are these massive trust issues coming from?

[MidwestUSA]

Beachguy I'm confused:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/578227-whats-your-advice-girl-i-just-started-dating

 

From your previous thread you are 17 and just started dating. What's going on here?

 

He's 27 now, and divorced after four years, after having found about his wife's 'real number'.

 

Trust issues everywhere.

[truth_seeker]

LOL obviously I can't say....all that kind of behavior is under wraps now. As the company grew so did the video surveillance, and people want to hang onto their jobs. But boy I could tell you stories.

 

Please do! I am available by PM. If you could also PM the name of your company as I would like to fill out a job application. I'd like to expand my skill set from sitting at desk to screwing on top of one.

 

 

I read an article recently about a survey they did about office workers....there are quite a few people out there that masturbate at their desk during work hours lol.

 

What jobs were these? I don't know what I would do if I walked into a female boss's office and found her going to town on herself.