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(New to this) Instant chemistry


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So obviously what I'm about to say would be a lot shorter if I were to talk about it verbally, but that's not going to happen. So here we go. I met a girl on Tinder back in early April about 4 weeks ago, we were talking back and fourth for about a week. We were getting to know each other and it seems to be going well. Based off my track record I didn't want to get to happy about it and would just send what was on my mind and come back to the app later on. Usually with women if they show interest i tend to get happy or excited. Once the week came to an end i showed a few friends her profile and they all told me to get off the app and forget about it. I thought because the convo was flowing Id ignore all of them and message her one last time. So i message her saying"Would it be to forward to ask for you number?" she responded no not at all. After that we text for about week off the app getting to know each other even more, things are running smoothly and I ask about getting together at the end of the week. I call her and she calls me back asking if we'll get together, I then forgot I had prior engagements with a friend and asked to reschedule. She said that was totally fine so we talk text for another week and then get together the following Friday night. We meet at this nice restaurant, and when she walks in and sits down, I was just blown away. As we begin to talk about about who we are, we end up high fiving a few times and telling each other " your taking the words from mouth , I'm just like that, and so are you!"We had both been in 8 year relationships, and had been cheated on. It seemed like we had too much in common I began to ask myself "why is this going so well right now?' She then said "ya know, i was planing on bailing or creating a backup plan to bail on this dinner" funny thing is i then mentioned I had the same thought and wasn't excited about meeting up either. There wasn't one pause or dull moment and finally someone walks over and tells us "Hey guys, sorry but we closed an hour ago, its 3:00 am." we had gotten there at 10:00. We walk out to her car and talk for another 30 mins and I keep thinking why is so great? I'm driving home and think to myself that was the best convo I've ever had with a woman in my life, why is this happening to me? I've been hurt and cheated on and honestly think I have the worst luck. I call her and she sais to me " wow you called? not many people call nowadays, very sweet and adorable of you, I'm going to tell my twin about you." I said to her " I just wanted to make your you got home ok and that just me. We meet the next day for a little bit at night at this night club and I'm introduced her sister. She walks up to me and hugs me and first thing she does throughout the night is introduce me to everyone. See, I've always known how to treat a woman and think that comes from going up with 5 sisters and my mother, parents divorced when we were young and he was never around. I always just wanted a woman that would be faithful, loyal and treat me with respect. She texted me that Monday and said "Hi Ryan! So good seeing you two nights in a row, I've been thinking about well you dealt with my crazy social life on Saturday. I know on some level it can be overwhelming and has always been a point of contention for partners in the past. Thanks for being so open and cool

1 I in my home stretch for school this week, can we touch base Friday? Thoughts of you :)" We don't really talk thought the week and I call her on Friday and she doesn't answer, then text me later saying she'll be with family and friends for the weekend because she just took her finals on getting her masters in psychology. We setup to meet the following Tuesday and things are amazing again. She walks into this restaurant towards me with open arms, hugs me for a more than usual and said" I have so much to tell you about this past week, it was hectec" We spoke about so many different topics and things she said she usually wouldn't talk about on a 3rd meeting, towards the end I asked if I could take her out for a congratulatory dinner that Friday night and she said yes. I messaged her sis and asked "what her favorite flowers maybe and her sis responded later saying it was nice to meet me the weekend before and wast sure of flowers shed like, but it was very sweet of me and gave me some restaurant suggestions. We don't text again Wednesday,Thursday comes and I tell her to have a nice walk across the stage and Ill see her for dinner Friday. Her family surprised her with a car after graduation and that he responds Friday telling me"Hi Ryan! I am on overload, wanting to be with my family this weekend, They are truly amazing and the only way I can give back to them is to be by their side on the physical. You and I will have to postpone!"

 

The reason I shared this is because I didn't even want to go on that first date and then the more we talked I began to really like this girl. Part of me thinks its just horrible timing in meeting someone with graduating and what not. I just don't want someone to hurt me again and cant help but really enjoy the past few times together. I've never met anyone like her in my life and am not goof at all when it comes to the texting world, I'm a bit old fashioned. I've never been on one of these forums before and i guess just wanted to talk to the world and look for some advice. I just didn't know, if I should just wait and not say one thing at all till she text me again or if you can say something like, "thinking of you, hope your having a good day".

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I vote for you to wait for her to reach out. I've had a "instant" feeling like yours before, and it was amazing. So just chill out and sit back a bit, and when she reaches out you plan the next date.

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Scarlett.O'hara

You should just do whatever feels natural to you. If you want to text her that message in a couple of days then do it. My only advice would be to just take it slowly. Let her know you are still around, but you don't need to start going full on and texting her every day, leave her wanting more.

 

She has already given you a clue into her lifestyle and where it went wrong with guys in the past. If you really like her then you will need to support the fact that she has a busy lifestyle. If that isn't the type of girl you want to be with then you are free to walk away whenever.

 

Just see how it goes and don't push it too quickly.

 

Good luck.

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Well paragraphs are a good start.....;) I'll be honest with you whenever I see a wall of text like that with conversational tidbits in the middle I just know it's a high school or college kid about to bore the pants off me with trivia that makes no sense and adds nothing to the story. Accordingly I just read the first and last sentences of each paragraph and usually get the drift. Brevity is a skill.....learn it.

 

- You will experience 'chemistry' many times in your life. You will probably end up in relationships with several of these highly chemically laden individuals.

 

- Without fail almost all of these relationships will crash and burn leaving you jaded. Wistfully remembering someone that you never quite got together with is usually the best option.

 

- Chemistry, is usually a sign that the other person is mirroring our internal issues brilliantly. Hence we see them as our everything, the final and total solution to all our internal cravings. Beware, they have issues which perfectly match our own. That's not a recipe for bliss if you go in blind.

 

- What normally ensues is a torrid love affair full of chemistry, hot sex, and fighting over nothing. If you are lucky you will not leave scorched earth behind....:laugh:

 

Enjoy the chemistry while you are young and energetic. Later in life you will see it for what it is and choose to work on your issues rather then meet them in another person.

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