Women are too picky

[SammySammy]

I'm not sure I could date a girl that was only dating a less attractive guy in me because all of the sexy douchebags she dated in the past were mean to her.

 

I think we see the same thing.

 

The predators will know ....

[Porter56]

Haven't had much of a breather this weekend. I don't have time right now to go into details, I will soon though. I just want to say that this turned out to be a GREAT weekend!!!

 

I'm going to give you the long post soon....warning: it will be a longggggg post lol

[Versacehottie]

Haven't had much of a breather this weekend. I don't have time right now to go into details, I will soon though. I just want to say that this turned out to be a GREAT weekend!!!

 

I'm going to give you the long post soon....warning: it will be a longggggg post lol

 

See! As I said on your other post, I think you just need to work on your resiliency and ability to cope--to take the highs with the lows basically. So glad this weekend was great and in that note, don't just attribute that to outside situational factors (like green eyes or time with her or other good things outside of you) but also take it on as you are the creator of good things that happen in your life AND there will be ups and downs and because you are able to create good things, you can weather the bad things too.

 

As I said somewhere (i think on one of your threads), you want to shorten up the "hits" you take personally when bad things happen. The more you "shore up" and can bounce back, the happier life you will lead--that is based on a whole segment of the more modern psychology (and one reason why I don't think your therapist is doing you too many favors, even though I don't know for sure). I'd just be worried that with this "great" weekend that you don't KNOW and accept that things will be "ok" when they both go well and when they don't go so well and start living as so and that if you have another bad thing that you will say the same things as you did on Saturday am. I think this just goes to prove that yes you need to work on your self-esteem and coping but are NOT some "damaged" person.

 

I am really excited for you and can't wait to hear the update

[Porter56]

OK so my long overdue post.

 

I have a friend who lives down the street from me, who I was going to ask to get my mail for me while I was away at that therapeutic resort I had mentioned. This is the type of guy who makes himself at home wherever he is. One of the first times he came over to my house...he kicked off his shoes and sat down on my couch and turned on my TV and asked me if I had anything to eat. LOL I will call him Mr. Peanut Butter. Because whenever he comes over to my house, he has a habit of eating my peanut butter...with his fingers!! LOL Seriously, he refuses a spoon when I offer it LOL. Lovable guy but anyway...

 

He wants to know where I'm going and I'm evasive, so he keeps asking. Eventually I tell him I'm going to a resort. He says "aren't resorts for couples?" So I told him exactly what I'm doing and he gives me a weird look. He tells me "man, you're moody for sure, but you're definitely not crazy. Hanging around other depressed people is only going to make you more depressed you don't need to be in a place like that."

 

Basically he talked me out of going and long story short we had a brief conversation about what I was going through and especially with women. He told me "Look, I'm not much to look at and I don't bathe regularly. Lol But I do okay with the ladies...why do you think that is?" So he basically gave me a little peptalk. After which I had a little bit of an adrenaline rush. I looked at all of the stuff I was packing up to go and I realized....what am I my doing? This is stupid.

 

The thought that kept running through my head was ...I am so sick of being scared to live my life. "Screw it" I thought. I don't want to do this. So what was it that I wanted to do?

 

I picked up my phone and I called Green Eyes. She sounded surprised to hear from me. I asked her how her week was on her trip. She said it had been OK, but it was good to get back. I cut to the chase. I told her it had been a long week And I missed having her at work. And then I said "despite what you said before...I think it's a GREAT idea if we go out for drinks and dinner and watch a baseball game. I'm gonna come over at six and pick you up...what do you say?"

 

She said:"uhhhhh...yeah...yeah yeah...definitely uhhhh....yeah". She seriously said yeah like 10 times I swear. And I said "so that's a yes, right?" She laughed nervously and I said I'd see her then and I hung up. So that's how I got my date with Green Eyes last Saturday night...

 

To be continued...

Edited May 26, 2016 by Porter56

[Porter56]

I would just like to say that after I asked her out and she said yes...I felt like I could wrestle a mountain lion and win I was sooooooohigh off of it all!!! lol

 

Mr Peanut Butter wanted to know what my call was all about...so I explained it briefly and he congratulated me and asked if he could "borrow" a frozen pizza from my freezer lol.

 

It felt soooo liberating to just do what I wanted!! Just go for it....

[katiegrl]

 

So that's how I got my date with Green Eyes last Saturday night...

 

To be continued...

 

Porter, are you this elusive with the women you date too... or just us?

Edited May 26, 2016 by katiegrl

[Porter56]

Just elusive with you...lol

 

No I have just been crazy busy lately sorry. And I kinda thought everyone was tired of hearing about me.

[Porter56]

And katie...another thing.

 

I am so elusive with women that I don't even talk to them. Which is kinda the point of all my threads.

[katiegrl]

Just elusive with you...lol

 

No I have just been crazy busy lately sorry. And I kinda thought everyone was tired of hearing about me.

 

No sweets, if we are tired of anything, it's reading that you will update us, and then NOT updating us!! :laugh:

 

Looking forward to hearing about what happened with Green Eyes, so when ya get a chance.............

[katiegrl]

And katie...another thing.

 

I am so elusive with women that I don't even talk to them. Which is kinda the point of all my threads.

 

Fair enough, which is why I asked!

 

Maybe time to get over that?

[Porter56]

I'll try to post the rest sometime later tonight katie.

[sc0316]

OK so my long overdue post.

 

I have a friend who lives down the street from me, who I was going to ask to get my mail for me while I was away at that therapeutic resort I had mentioned. This is the type of guy who makes himself at home wherever he is. One of the first times he came over to my house...he kicked off his shoes and sat down on my couch and turned on my TV and asked me if I had anything to eat. LOL I will call him Mr. Peanut Butter. Because whenever he comes over to my house, he has a habit of eating my peanut butter...with his fingers!! LOL Seriously, he refuses a spoon when I offer it LOL. Lovable guy but anyway...

 

He wants to know where I'm going and I'm evasive, so he keeps asking. Eventually I tell him I'm going to a resort. He says "aren't resorts for couples?" So I told him exactly what I'm doing and he gives me a weird look. He tells me "man, you're moody for sure, but you're definitely not crazy. Hanging around other depressed people is only going to make you more depressed you don't need to be in a place like that."

 

Basically he talked me out of going and long story short we had a brief conversation about what I was going through and especially with women. He told me "Look, I'm not much to look at and I don't bathe regularly. Lol But I do okay with the ladies...why do you think that is?" So he basically gave me a little peptalk. After which I had a little bit of an adrenaline rush. I looked at all of the stuff I was packing up to go and I realized....what am I my doing? This is stupid.

 

The thought that kept running through my head was ...I am so sick of being scared to live my life. "Screw it" I thought. I don't want to do this. So what was it that I wanted to do?

 

I picked up my phone and I called Green Eyes. She sounded surprised to hear from me. I asked her how her week was on her trip. She said it had been OK, but it was good to get back. I cut to the chase. I told her it had been a long week And I missed having her at work. And then I said "despite what you said before...I think it's a GREAT idea if we go out for drinks and dinner and watch a baseball game. I'm gonna come over at six and pick you up...what do you say?"

 

She said:"uhhhhh...yeah...yeah yeah...definitely uhhhh....yeah". She seriously said yeah like 10 times I swear. And I said "so that's a yes, right?" She laughed nervously and I said I'd see her then and I hung up. So that's how I got my date with Green Eyes last Saturday night...

 

To be continued...

 

The way you did this with Green Eyes was so alpha :love:

[Porter56]

Alphas' the last thing that I am.

 

So I picked her up and when I first saw her, I was amazed. At work, she always looks good, but good in a professional way. I don't really know how to explain it but she looked different and she looked really really good. She was smiling and laughing a lot for some reason , I got the impression that she was a little nervous , which kind of surprised me. It never really occurred to me that a woman would be nervous around me. And she kept playing with her hair. Now don't ask me why but that is kind of a turn on for me. Flipping hair over one shoulder, brushing it behind her ear, etc. etc. She has long, jet black hair. The black hair only makes her green eyes pop even more. I tried not to stare too much LOL but d@mn, she was beautiful.

 

We went to a sports bar/restaurant to watch the baseball game. We got dinner and drinks and we basically just talked. We talked about her family in Europe, which I find incredibly interesting. And how she talks two languages. I asked her to speak French to me and she did. Sexy....that's all I got to say. LOL I told her I was impressed with her family background being from Europe and all. I mentioned that both sides of my family are originally from Italy but I've never been to Italy and can't speak the language so that doesn't really make me Italian. Truth be told...I just wanted to somehow mention I was Italian. That is one thing about me I have noticed that women always like.LOL

 

We talked a lot about college and sports. Inevitably past relationships came up. She mentioned that when she first met me, she was surprised that I was single and when she found out that I was single...she figured that I was a player. LOL I asked her why and she said because I was single and I was really really cute. This made me feel kind of awkward and I got quiet. She just laughed at me and said "oh come on...you know that a lot of the interns have crushes on you right?" I honestly didn't know what to say. She said "do you really think they're all that clueless? They're always asking you for help on things? Don't play dumb" and she started laughing.

 

I basically been just turned it around on her. I told her she's cute and she's single so she must be a player. LOL She joked "I am...I'm just using you." Using me? I asked...grinning at her. "Yeah...using you for...you know...stuff" she smiled big at me and bit her bottom lip while she smiled. Don't ask why but biting the bottom lip is crazy sexy to me:D. I told "well I love to be useful" we laughed.

 

And then, she got serious for a minute. Turns out that shortly before I met her she just got out of a long-term relationship. Eight years to be exact. They had started dating towards the end of college. They had lived together for years but he wouldn't propose. She said that when she hit 30 it became important to her to know whether or not they were Going to get married or not. Long story short, he basically didn't want to get married and was something of an overgrown child. She summed it up by saying that they met in college and since then she had started a career and she had changed. And he hadn't.

 

That got us on the topic of college. We traded stories about being young and stupid in school. LOL The next thing we knew, we looked up, and the baseball games had been over for at least half an hour. We looked down and it was just past 1030pm. We had been sitting there and talking for over four hours. We honestly wanted to watch the baseball game but we didn't even know who had won. LOL

 

I told her wow it's past 1030. She said "yeah I had no idea it was so late. you must be tired or have stuff to do tomorrow. You probably need to get home." I just smiled at her and said no I don't and that we should go for a walk in the park. This restaurant is in a busy area of shops, bars, and restaurants. And there is a park nearby that is A popular area at night for people to hang out. So then we just went on a walk and kept talking. When we got to the park, we went to a Lake that is in the park and we stood there and looked at it...it had trees all around with lights...the whole place was lit up. I have to say...very romantic atmosphere.

 

She said she had never been there at night and it was beautiful. Around this time, I became very aware that I needed to kiss her but I didn't know how. So I started thinking about how I was going to do it and when I was going to do it. And then I stopped and I just thought "GO FOR IT!"...we were standing side-by-side, shoulder to shoulder looking at the scenery. With my right hand I reached down and grabbed her hand to hold it and when I touched her, I felt her squeeze my hand really tight. OKAY...I thought to myself "GO"

 

I reached over and put my hand on her cheek and turned her head towards me and I looked right into her gorgeous green eyes and I just went in and kissed her. I pulled away and smiled and she looked at me and said "oh...is that my thank you?" I kind of laughed and said yes. She said "well, you know, you actually owe me two thank you's." So I Kissed her again and needless to say...this one lasted a little longer.

 

So after a small make out session we sat down on the bench by that lake and we talked even more. We got to talking about where we grew up and some childhood stuff. And then before we knew it...it was after 230 in the morning. I couldn't believe how late it was and that I just spent the last 8+ hours talking to her. I have a hard time having a conversation with somebody for more than half an hour at a time usually. Lol We walked back to the restaurant and I drove her home.

 

We got to her house and I walked up to her door and I told her I was sorry for keeping her out so late. She smiled at me and said "No worries...I'm not even tired." She said that and she kind of got quiet and looked down. So I said "well why don't you show me your place...I've never seen it." She just opened the door and said OK come on.

 

We got inside and she took me on a tour of her place and then we hung out and watched SportsCenter on the couch. We seriously spent the next hour or so talking about sports and then we fell asleep on the couch together. Oh yeah and we might've had a pretty intense make out session before we fell asleep.

 

So that was my date with green eyes.

[Versacehottie]

So yeah, mental resort OR date with green eyes? Um, i think you made the right choice.

 

Lots of good stuff. Glad everything went so well. You asked her to do something again right?

 

See I told you :-)

[Porter56]

Wow ^^^^^ I wrote my first novel lol

[Porter56]

Yes....she came over the next night and I cooked her dinner. Italian of course

 

This week has been busy at work...we've texted each other a lot but not gotten together or anything. We're going out to dinner tomorrow night though.

[Porter56]

Ok not to be too neurotic...

 

But lots of good stuff??? Like what?

 

I'm nervous... I haven't dated in a long time so I don't know what to make of everything and I really like this girl so I want to know where I stand with her. I think everything went well and she likes me too but who knows because dating can be so complicated.

[AMJ]

Everything is going perfectly- there is literally nothing wrong with the date or your second date and everything in between. Don't worry so much!

[Versacehottie]

Everything is going perfectly- there is literally nothing wrong with the date or your second date and everything in between. Don't worry so much!

 

I can't say much more than that to describe good stuff!!! It's good, flow with it. DO NOT let your anxiety get the best of you. I am seeing the tiniest bit when you ask "you want to know where you stand". Huh???? You have seen her 2 times about to be 3 in a week. You are fine. Don't ask that question yet. Just enjoy the moment.

 

Do your very best to not overanalyze or think this to death. What's there to think about??? She is saying yes to spending time with you. She obviously enjoys it that's why she is kissing you. Life is the journey not the destination (in this case, at this point for sure!)

 

Do not get neurotic. I don't even want to encourage it here as a way to vent neuroses because a person will not be able to hide it if that is the way you are feeling. It doesn't matter if you haven't dated in a while. Each couple's relationship is unique. When you get stuck (and i DON'T mean in getting reassurance for yourself, that's a no-no right now!), just use communication and ask her what she wants or thinks, from caring/confident place. Remember stay CONFIDENT, needing reassurance is not confident. Good luck.

[Porter56]

Ok I have a nagging problem.

 

Me and Green Eyes went out on Friday and it continues to be great... I won't bore you with the details like I usually do. BUT...... I learned something that is eating at me.

 

The topic of Mr Perfect came up. I told her I hung out with him and everything and said that it looked like they(her and mr.perfect) got along well. She said they had gone out before. I just said "Really? I didn't know that." She laughed and said..."I had just got out of a relationship. It felt good to be with someone. Especially someone like him."

 

I couldn't help myself...."someone like him?" I asked. She laughed and said "attractive...successful...he would've drove my ex nuts" and she laughed. I was playful about it all... I hide my insecurities well lol. I simply asked her " so things didn't work out with him? Or should I be looking over my shoulder for him to kick my a$$?"

 

She laughed and looked away from me and said "...it didn't last long. It was just something fun I needed to do after getting out of the relationship I had been in. Ya know...get it out of my system."

 

I don't f***ing like this at all. I'm going nuts here. I can't stop thinking about this now...

[Versacehottie]

Ok I have a nagging problem.

 

Me and Green Eyes went out on Friday and it continues to be great... I won't bore you with the details like I usually do. BUT...... I learned something that is eating at me.

 

The topic of Mr Perfect came up. I told her I hung out with him and everything and said that it looked like they(her and mr.perfect) got along well. She said they had gone out before. I just said "Really? I didn't know that." She laughed and said..."I had just got out of a relationship. It felt good to be with someone. Especially someone like him."

 

I couldn't help myself...."someone like him?" I asked. She laughed and said "attractive...successful...he would've drove my ex nuts" and she laughed. I was playful about it all... I hide my insecurities well lol. I simply asked her " so things didn't work out with him? Or should I be looking over my shoulder for him to kick my a$$?"

 

She laughed and looked away from me and said "...it didn't last long. It was just something fun I needed to do after getting out of the relationship I had been in. Ya know...get it out of my system."

 

I don't f***ing like this at all. I'm going nuts here. I can't stop thinking about this now...

 

ok, not the easiest information to handle. however, that's something you don't understand about a lot of Thors: some girls don't take them seriously for bf material. They "use" them because they already see them as a player and figure it's a mutually beneficial situation. Meanwhile all the other guys, the porters of the world are assuming the thors have it so easy, so perfect. Not always so. I can't make it much better than that other than to say if they were going to be together they already would be. It looks like now when she is ready to date, she is choosing you. You would be wise to get your insecurity, jealousy etc under control or you risk f*cking this up. See it for what it is: she is with you now and that's where she wants to be. As usual, don't overthink things. Can you repeat that?

[Porter56]

As usual... I know you're right.

 

BUT.... I was thinking something.

 

When they were around each other a few weeks ago...like I said...they were very very "familar" with each other. Going back in my head and thinking about it now that I know more of the backstory. It looked like there was something still there between them. Ugh...

 

It's like I took a class on how to have an unattractive personality or something lol

[katiegrl]

Ok I have a nagging problem.

 

Me and Green Eyes went out on Friday and it continues to be great... I won't bore you with the details like I usually do. BUT...... I learned something that is eating at me.

 

The topic of Mr Perfect came up. I told her I hung out with him and everything and said that it looked like they(her and mr.perfect) got along well. She said they had gone out before. I just said "Really? I didn't know that." She laughed and said..."I had just got out of a relationship. It felt good to be with someone. Especially someone like him."

 

I couldn't help myself...."someone like him?" I asked. She laughed and said "attractive...successful...he would've drove my ex nuts" and she laughed. I was playful about it all... I hide my insecurities well lol. I simply asked her " so things didn't work out with him? Or should I be looking over my shoulder for him to kick my a$$?"

 

She laughed and looked away from me and said "...it didn't last long. It was just something fun I needed to do after getting out of the relationship I had been in. Ya know...get it out of my system."

 

I don't f***ing like this at all. I'm going nuts here. I can't stop thinking about this now...

 

You said the topic of Mr. Perfect came up.

 

Who brought it up? You or her?

 

My spidey sense is that she has a thing for him. Even tho she claims nothing is going on which could be true.

 

Women don't normally discuss other men the way she did without them still having a thing.

 

Especially while on a date with a new man!

 

This sounds like something one says to a friend....not a potential bf.

 

Careful you are not being catapulted into the friendzone.

[Porter56]

Gee katie I wasn't even thinking that...

 

So now I'm in the friend zone? (Another term I detest)

 

It would make sense. I mean if she can't have him...I'm her silver medal so to speak.

[katiegrl]

Gee katie I wasn't even thinking that...

 

So now I'm in the friend zone? (Another term I detest)

 

It would make sense. I mean if she can't have him...I'm her silver medal so to speak.

 

You did not answer my question.

 

Did she bring him up? If she did, then she may still have a thing for him.

 

Cuz as I said women who *don't* have a thing for another guy wouldn't dream of bringing him up on a date with another guy she is supposedly interested in.

 

He would never even enter her mind.

 

If YOU brought him up .... then what she said prob has no meaning. Just making conversation re her experiences with him.

 

Even tho what she said was an inappropriate thing to tell a new guy she is interested in (you).. It was insensitive IMO.

 

Can't even imagine saying something like that to a new guy I was interested in....

Edited May 30, 2016 by katiegrl