Author Porter56 Posted May 14, 2016 Author Posted May 14, 2016 So I guess it's back to working on my "game", whatever that really means. I seriously have been having conversations with women as much as I can but just small talk stuff that goes nowhere. It is all a bit confusing because Im not sure how to flirt...as stupid as that sounds. My conversations with women always just falls flat. I am getting better at approaching though so that's a plus.
Versacehottie Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 So I guess it's back to working on my "game", whatever that really means. I seriously have been having conversations with women as much as I can but just small talk stuff that goes nowhere. It is all a bit confusing because Im not sure how to flirt...as stupid as that sounds. My conversations with women always just falls flat. I am getting better at approaching though so that's a plus. Good. Well you said you were hopeless at it a week ago so you know this is progress right? It won't happen overnight and will come in steps, such as at first it will be easier and easier to approach and then it will be easier and easier to make social conversations and then easier and easier to flirt. Even when you make it to "it's all easy", there will be days because of mood or environment where it just doesn't feel good/easy even though you have the skills at that point. This is just normal ebb and flow of life stuff. But you are getting better and that will get you to your goal. Trust that.
katiegrl Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 Good. Well you said you were hopeless at it a week ago so you know this is progress right? It won't happen overnight and will come in steps, such as at first it will be easier and easier to approach and then it will be easier and easier to make social conversations and then easier and easier to flirt. Even when you make it to "it's all easy", there will be days because of mood or environment where it just doesn't feel good/easy even though you have the skills at that point. This is just normal ebb and flow of life stuff. But you are getting better and that will get you to your goal. Trust that. V, perhaps you can chime in on his new thread wherein he admitted opening up, and intimacy "makes his skin crawl." 1
Versacehottie Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 Raving about me at work I dont know... I haven't contacted her in the past few days so I don't know... I'm just going to see her at work on Monday so I will just see her then. Btw Versace... I have to say I love your honesty. Most women don't admit to being into looks and money and all that because they don't want to appear shallow so I like it when a woman such as yourself just puts it out there. One question though...have you found yourself to be intimidating to some men? I suppose men like myself would feel they shouldn't waste their time on you when they know you're into looks. But there's the whole confidence thing again. So maybe I just answered my own question lol...if a guy is intimidated then he doesn't have confidence so you wouldn't care about him anyway...am I onto something? Lol When a woman says she's into looks it would always be on my mind that there are better looking men than me so...why bother? Men are just competitive by nature. It's ingrained...we always think that way...in terms of who's better and how can I beat him, etc etc... I'm babbling...I'll shut up now lol I think some women will admit that they are into looks and ambition (which usually = some money) but especially on here we spend so much time fighting the simplistic view from a bunch of guys that this is ALL we care about. Not true. AT ALL. Sure I'll admit it but I hope that people who have seen my posts over time (maybe even just on this thread) or just a general exposure to women out in real life know that NOTHING is as one-dimensional as that. I certainly am not. I care about a lot of other qualities as well--equally or more so. How would a guy know that I am into looks and therefore be intimidated by it? Most girls would never have a reason to state that up front. Here's what you need to know: safe to assume if a girl is talking to you, there is a bit of a chance. If she response well to what you are saying, there's a bit more. MANY factors play into that all. People can be open. Lead with what you've got; show them there is more to see, be compelling. Attraction is multi-faceted. I am not into looks at the exclusion or expense of other qualities I deem important. Lots of us are open-minded enough to find out what exists behind some baseline level of attraction. Open-minded to find out more. Meaning gorgeous guys on the outside can meet baseline (or exceed) but blow it on being multi-faceted person to be attracted to. Has happened, of course.
Author Porter56 Posted May 15, 2016 Author Posted May 15, 2016 Spoiler alert: this is going to be a long post...grab a drink lol I spent last night reconnecting with an old friend from my hometown. I hadn't really gone out with him in years. We went to high school together. I kept in touch with him, but have not been around him in quite some time. Whatever you people on here might think of me, imagine me in your head and then times it by about 10. He is seriously that bad. He is two years older than me and has still never kissed a girl. Uptight is an understatement with this guy. As time has gone on, I seriously wonder why I am even friends with him. But last night really got to me. I felt like I was looking into a mirror. This guy has shied away from anything that requires the least amount of effort. He has a college degree but is severely under employed, simply because whenever he tried to apply for a job and would get rejected he would give up looking. This mentality has applied to his entire life. Especially with women. Naturally we got to talking about our issues with women since that something that we have in common right now. I've known this guy since we were kids so I feel like he's kind of a brother to me. But wow seriously you talk about someone with issues. I approached two women with him last night and I can't even describe the experience I had. But oh well here goes I'll try to do my best... It took me an hour to convince him to even do something like this. When we did I tried to get him talking which at first he wouldn't even do. He's a music lover. He likes to play drums. I tried to get him to talk about music in front of these girls because that's what women love....passion. And deep down he's passionate about music. He has a habit of monopolizing conversations. He just babbles and won't shut up or let you get a word in edgewise. When he talked he talked so plainly and in factual terms like he was giving a lecture. He bored these girls to death. I tried to talk but I just didn't have it in me last night, this guy seriously was bringing me down. I try talking to him about talking to women but all he did was get upset. He ended up saying a lot of things I have said on here which is what really spooked me. I don't have looks I don't have money what am I supposed to do etc. etc. I got really mad at this guy. I basically saw myself in him and started talking to him as if I were talking to myself...I basically said: If you can't get excited about yourself why would anybody else be excited? Not everyone is going to like, and not everything is going to go your way just Move on. When you talk....talk passionately. Don't give them facts about music or your drum set. Tell them how music makes you feel. Talk to them about what it felt like the first time you heard your favorite song. Tell them why you love music. Describe how it makes you feel. That's something they can connect with. It reminded me of a time in college: I was dating a girl at the time and We were at a party and I was talking with some of my friends about football. She came up to me and hugged me and said that she loved it when I talked about sports. This girl hated sports. At the time I thought she was being sarcastic and trying to poke fun of me. I looked at her slightly annoyed and said "you don't even like sports, get out of here". I always had award-winning charm. LOL In hindsight I can now see what happened. She didn't like sports, she didn't care at all. But she loved how I lit up when I talked about sports. It doesn't matter what it's about, seeing that fire in somebody's eye when they're passionate is what women love. It's like when you care about something and can talk about it passionately they feed off that. You both can act and feel strongly about something and then talk and before you know it three hours have gone by and you don't even realize it. It's like the two of you just got lost in each other and that's one of the sexiest things in the world. I have just only recently realized this and I tried to tell my friend this. He just threw his hands up and said whatever I don't care. So I guess I can sympathize with the people who are trying to help me on here. LOL He just really bummed me out last night and so I'm not exactly in a great mood right now. Simply put, he is the complete opposite of Thor lol. Anyway this has gone on long enough thanks for reading....
Versacehottie Posted May 15, 2016 Posted May 15, 2016 V, perhaps you can chime in on his new thread wherein he admitted opening up, and intimacy "makes his skin crawl." Yeah while I don't know too much about it, when you observe people in life, you can see these happening over and over. I think fear holds people back in lots and lots of ways. And ultimately to have a fulfilling relationship, you must make yourself vulnerable to be emotional intimate. I think it's understandable coming from where OP has dealt with in his life. I would say a mom leaving at especially the age of his that she did, has probably got to be the MOST emotionally damaging thing that could happen for him to have no fear/instant ease with relationships. I'm pretty impressed with how well he has done in a short time of opening up with us and making the friendship social connections he has. I think if he keeps working at it for all angles, there's no reason why he wouldn't be successful. But he will have to take risks and go where it will be uncomfortable for him (mentally). I think it's apparent that he really wants to be successful and seems to be more social (at least here and in his stories) than he gives himself credit for. I think it would be a good idea to discuss this specific issue with a therapist. As I think katie can attest to, from her brothers' experiences, fear of emotional intimacy/commitment, has got to be one of the most lonely experiences and even if you end up in a "relationship" with someone, you can still be significantly removed and lonely AF. BTW, I love that in the span of a week via Thor and this high school friend, the OP can see the alternative to not taking a risk and working on all sorts of social game. Both ends of the spectrum. Hopefully, that will be somewhat of a wakeup call or momentum to take the risks he needs to take--not that he wasn't going to anyway. But obviously his mind has shifted a bit, due to the fact that he gave this guy a lecture and that it affected him to see him behave like this. I know it's bumming him out today but really it's a gift to have these two events in your life this week when you are contemplating all this stuff and your future and how to move forward. The introspection, consistency and action are key. You're right there OP, I think things are starting to change for you--and it's a good thing, even though it didn't feel like it last night.
Author Porter56 Posted May 16, 2016 Author Posted May 16, 2016 I am just in a bit of a funk right now. Listening to my friend talk he said some of the exact same things I have said on these boards. It made me think oh my God is THAT what I sound like. Being around Mr. perfect and watching him and then watching my old friend I realized I have more in common with my friend than I do with Mr. perfect and that worries me.
katiegrl Posted May 16, 2016 Posted May 16, 2016 (edited) I am just in a bit of a funk right now. Listening to my friend talk he said some of the exact same things I have said on these boards. It made me think oh my God is THAT what I sound like. Being around Mr. perfect and watching him and then watching my old friend I realized I have more in common with my friend than I do with Mr. perfect and that worries me. You sound very introspective and self-aware Porter. More than most! Just recognizing your fears and limitations is a major step towards resolving. Keep going Porter. Read books there are many good ones out there. Keep introspecting learning about yourself and what motivates you. Continue with therapy. Get in touch with the fear, where it comes from, no matter how painful that process is. Allow yourself to feel that pain, don't run from it, or attempt to hide it with humor. You need to feel it, in all its glory, so it can rise to the surface and be released! Ideally in the presence of a qualified therapist. It is not something that will happen overnight so be patient with yourself. You will get there! Good luck! Edited May 16, 2016 by katiegrl 1
Versacehottie Posted May 16, 2016 Posted May 16, 2016 I am just in a bit of a funk right now. Listening to my friend talk he said some of the exact same things I have said on these boards. It made me think oh my God is THAT what I sound like. Being around Mr. perfect and watching him and then watching my old friend I realized I have more in common with my friend than I do with Mr. perfect and that worries me. Ok allow a day of that, two max. The point is that you recognize it. You were already motivated to change and were working on it. There is no foregone conclusion. Some of the biggest motivators in life can be the things you don't want to be. If it points you in the clearest, rightest direction, don't be upset on how you got clear about it. I went on a weekend trip with older co-workers once that completely freaked me out. And it had a similar effect for a few days. Actually just typing about it still freaks me out. Choose the life you want. Figure out how to get there, keep molding and shaping your pathway to take you there. This is hardly a roadblock. If anything it's a light shone on how you do not want your life to be. Take it. Let it motivate you. Work on how you speak. I've noticed a change already in a week. But what you witnessed with your old friend was that unhelpful and insecure thinking patterns, literally block and prevent and are apparent to those that are paying attention consciously--and those that are paying attention unconsciously will also pick up on them--and thus life will evolve pretty much as the person fears. That's why I always preach building confidence and changing your outlook. I've mentioned it on here before but studies have been done on happiness via psychology and you definitely want to bolster up confidence and how you view the world. Maybe the same sh*tty stuff will happen to you but you will be able to perceive it differently and it will positively affect the quality of life you have. Statistically, "happy" people, have an outward focus when things go "wrong" in their lives, ie they have a tendency to blame some outside effect rather than themselves when something goes wrong. They also bounce back really quick, ie I give you 1-2 days max to ruminate on this OR you can view it as the godsend I said it was, illuminating what you need to know by giving you the two best examples you could ever have in a 4 day period (thor vs. hs friend). "Happy" people give themselves "credit" for the good things that happen to them in life (even if they were most likely a combo of some outside influences as well). This positive effect lasts long and is not easily swayed. Then in turn the positive thinking patterns ACTUALLY affect the real outcome of your life AND the way you perceive it (which is actual happiness). You did it the other day talking about your probable promotion: you attributed it to yourself and how good you are at your job. Thus in that area of life you are probably happy and confident, relatively. And secure--not much can sway how you feel about your abilities in that area. Whereas, with social and romantic relationships, you are less secure and attribute something "bad" to yourself--therefore prolonging and making a part of "you" this bad things, further damaging self-esteem and confidence. Good example, is that going out with a old friend who has similar issues--instead of viewing the interaction as positive, where a newer outlook of your own and your ability to give him advice and the progress you have made in a week, is easily thrown out the window because all you can see in the interaction is the bad (ie: this is going to be me/this is me); rather than you are doing better than him and gave him advice because you are clearly on an upswing. You further take this somewhat small and relatively insignificant instance in your life and let it affect your mood and confidence. This is that classic study in the flesh. I only mean to help and if you can grasp this concept when you are ready (hopefully tomorrow!), you can use it alone as a tool to at least stop the "bleeding" and put yourself back on the path. Since you will know from reading the stats that your thinking is a clear cut path to what you DON'T want to happen. And there is a clear cut path to what you DO want to happen. I don't know, I'm pretty excited for how your life will go. Funny, I don't see it like you do at all. I had a few other things to say but yeah, this is enough. I forgot for now. I'm sure I will remember later. TBC
Jabron1 Posted May 16, 2016 Posted May 16, 2016 This thread has been interesting. I'd like to make a point. I don't think the issues you had with your mother have any relevance to your problem with women. Every issue that you've described is what every man goes through - seriously all of us to greater or lesser degrees (based on experience and stuff like that). Everything you have described has been completely normal. The only thing for it is getting experience. Pushing through, and learning from mistakes (I've made so many, some really funny ones). Don't be afraid to 'fail'. They make good war stories. "Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try harder. Fail better."
Author Porter56 Posted May 16, 2016 Author Posted May 16, 2016 Thanks for all the input guys. I really do appreciate it. I do honestly see the difference between me and my friend. I feel bad for being so harsh, but the truth is, he has failed in pretty much every area of his life. I was able to play college baseball, I have achieved a very good job, and I now have a friend who owns a Jaguar. LOL Seriously though, listening to him I heard my exact words coming out of his mouth and it just worried me. In many ways, I am nothing like him but some of the things he said were exactly what I've said and it scared me. Only because I really want to be absolutely nothing like him. I'm going to be honest, the more I thought about last night, the more I feel better. My life is honestly going a lot better than his is and I know that. But like you said Versace, it freaks me out. I don't want to be anything like him, yet my words were coming out of his mouth. So now it's like I know what I have to do. PS: Jabron....i've been trying to figure it out. But is that Tyler Durden on your profile picture? Just curious.
katiegrl Posted May 16, 2016 Posted May 16, 2016 This thread has been interesting. I'd like to make a point. I don't think the issues you had with your mother have any relevance to your problem with women. Every issue that you've described is what every man goes through - seriously all of us to greater or lesser degrees (based on experience and stuff like that). Everything you have described has been completely normal. The only thing for it is getting experience. Pushing through, and learning from mistakes (I've made so many, some really funny ones). Don't be afraid to 'fail'. They make good war stories. "Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try harder. Fail better." He said (on a different thread he created today) that opening up and intimacy "make his skin crawl.". His exact words. I don't think this is what everyone feels or goes through, or experiences. His issues go much deeper, and he needs to explore further ideally with the help of a qualified professional... It would be nice if things were so black and white as you often describe. Life, people don't work that way. People are complex and often have deep issues that need to be realized, and released so they can move forward toward being emotionally healthy and in turn attract healthy people and relationships to them Otherwise it's just rinse and repeat the same shyt, leaving them lonely, alone and unhappy.
Author Porter56 Posted May 16, 2016 Author Posted May 16, 2016 OK, seriously that thread that I created last night about "what if there is no hope" was when I was really feeling down. "Making my skin crawl"as I said is probably not the right way of putting it. It makes me feel really, really scared. Like when I think about Green Eyes, the way I feel about her and the power that that would give her over me freaks me out. I'm just really scared of that is all.
katiegrl Posted May 16, 2016 Posted May 16, 2016 (edited) OK, seriously that thread that I created last night about "what if there is no hope" was when I was really feeling down. "Making my skin crawl"as I said is probably not the right way of putting it. It makes me feel really, really scared. Like when I think about Green Eyes, the way I feel about her and the power that that would give her over me freaks me out. I'm just really scared of that is all. It's okay. I get it. You are scared of intimacy, closeness. Being vulnerable, feeling powerless. To the point of sheer panic when all you did was make a simple date with a woman you like. And I responded accordingly. You have a fear of intimacy. Active avoidant/anxious avoidant. It's very obvious in all your posts. At least to me. You need to figure out why. Your mom? Maybe. Maybe something else. But you need to figure it out, otherwise you "will" rinse and repeat with every woman you meet you have feelings for. Edited May 16, 2016 by katiegrl
katiegrl Posted May 16, 2016 Posted May 16, 2016 Porter this has nothing to do with "game" either. It's about "fear." Your fears. And how that fear is preventing you from from finding true happiness and love in your life.
Jabron1 Posted May 16, 2016 Posted May 16, 2016 Porter this has nothing to do with "game" either. It's about "fear." Your fears. And how that fear is preventing you from from finding true happiness and love in your life. He was scared of going on a date. That doesn't mean he needs to go and see a shrink. It means he needs to push through, go on the date, and realise it isn't that bad.
Author Porter56 Posted May 16, 2016 Author Posted May 16, 2016 (edited) I do see a therapist once, sometimes twice a week. I am very open with her and have discussed everything I have posted on these boards. She has echoed many of the thoughts that have been expressed on this thread. It's like I know exactly what's wrong with me and I know exactly what I have to do. In my head, I have it all figured out. But it's actually getting myself to do what needs to be done that's the hard part. It's a process, and I'm learning how to get myself to do it. Whatever the root cause is of all my problems really doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what's in front of me. Whatever mistakes I've made in the past are in the past. They have absolutely no bearing on what happens from here on out. I have made many mistakes in the past but so what. All I can do is keep moving forward and do the best that I can with what I've got. And that's exactly what I intend to do. Edited May 16, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 2
katiegrl Posted May 16, 2016 Posted May 16, 2016 He was scared of going on a date. That doesn't mean he needs to go and see a shrink. It means he needs to push through, go on the date, and realise it isn't that bad. I actually agree with that! Can he though? He was going to or wanted to break the date he scheduled and was VERY relieved, almost exuberant when she broke it ... I dunno. These types of fears run deep and not so easily resolved. People struggle for years! But yeah, if he can somehow push through and just go and actually experience what it's like being with a woman he connects with..... and realize there is nothing to be so fearful of, that would be a huge step! He is in therapy though, or so he said, and I think he should continue with that .
Versacehottie Posted May 16, 2016 Posted May 16, 2016 This thread has been interesting. I'd like to make a point. I don't think the issues you had with your mother have any relevance to your problem with women. Every issue that you've described is what every man goes through - seriously all of us to greater or lesser degrees (based on experience and stuff like that). Everything you have described has been completely normal. The only thing for it is getting experience. Pushing through, and learning from mistakes (I've made so many, some really funny ones). Don't be afraid to 'fail'. They make good war stories. "Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try harder. Fail better." Yes, I agree. While the thing with his mom probably play some role, how big or small is up in the air. It is too simplistic to pin it all on that (even though I said I'm sure it must have been hard & has an effect). We are all multi-layered people and most people, in some way or another, have some level of insecurity about something that they, either through experience, sheer will or some of both, can push through. Even with the happiness studies I was citing above, believing there is some internal flaw (such as abandonment by mom) that is huge and thus virtually impossible to overcome, is not good thought process. If you look anywhere to people's stories, you will find those that have overcome similar or similarly awful circumstances. What makes them different? That they believe what they want IS possible and that they "try". That's why these studies are finding out that traditional psychology is not really that great. Because if you tell someone they have a problem and need to be "fixed"; there is an inherent nature to that that most people will adopt rather than overcome and think of themselves as flawed. Exposure and "get-back-up-ness" is proven to be more effective than working out what your parents did to you for happiness and success in life. Basically, just get on with it--in spite of 'bad' things that may have happened to you. I think it's smart to seek out bio's of successful people from various fields. Lots of times you will hear a reoccurring theme of growth via failures (which is also a fact if you accept the learning from it), persistance--IN SPITE of what might seem like not great circumstances or upbringing. Idk, wish I had some examples for you. But I see them everywhere. glad you are feeling better as the day has gone on. 1
Dis Posted May 16, 2016 Posted May 16, 2016 We are all into looks, but looks are subjective. For me, and most women I know, chemistry trumps looks, however, when there is good strong genuine chemistry, a mutual connection, an average looking guy can suddenly become the hottest man in the world! I used to work in entertainment in NY and was surrounded by male models. They did NOTHING for me. Pretty to look at I suppose, but other than that, nothing. A few even asked me out, ugh no thanks! My bf was no model, but *to me* he was the best looking and hottest guy I knew! This is a great point! All the guys I have dated in the past were juice heads, very handsome, lots of muscle, very sauve, smooth talkers for sure. And all of these guys turned out to be jerks. My new bf is nothing like the guys I have dated in the past. He's pretty much a string bean...not much muscle....kind of a big nose....but I'm so attracted to him, maybe because I take comfort in knowing he's not a player because he couldnt be if he tried...also because his personality is wonderful, he's so sweet and affectionate. He's also goofy and kind of awkward, he def couldnt charm the pants off a girl....he doesnt have an abundance of experience and I think its very endearing. Dont get me wrong he is a handsome guy but not overly so. He does have some game, kissed me on the first date, awkward kiss but still a kiss He's not afraid to be physical and affectionate...I place a lot of value on those things. His personality is what makes his somewhat average appearance above average. My point is, a wise girl who has dated super sexy guys who were douche bags, will welcome an average looking guy if he has some game and treats her right. Its not all about looks!
Revolver Posted May 16, 2016 Posted May 16, 2016 I used to think this and get angry but then I thought to myself why wouldn't they be? Shouldn't you want the best partner you can get? Women should be picky I used to be bitter(still am to an extent but not as much) about not getting sex in HS or college from the girls I wanted but then I realized the guys I was envious of were simply better than me. Why be mad that they chose them? Don't hate the player hate the game
AMJ Posted May 17, 2016 Posted May 17, 2016 (edited) Whatever the root cause is of all my problems really doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what's in front of me. Whatever mistakes I've made in the past are in the past. They have absolutely no bearing on what happens from here on out. I have made many mistakes in the past but so what. All I can do is keep moving forward and do the best that I can with what I've got. And that's exactly what I intend to do. Look. I hear what Versace is saying about how it's important to think constructively/positively about this issue and not give up on a relationship. I do not agree, however, that the past has no bearing on the future. For you, or for any of us. Does that mean you should dwell on the past? No. What it means is that you need guidance to move forward in the right direction. Without guidance, you're going to repeat bad unhealthy patterns that are ingrained in your thinking. For example, you'll snag a great girlfriend and string her along in torture for years because moving into a committed, intimate relationship absolutely terrifies you. Or worse, you'll snag a great wife and put her through even worse misery because you'll never be happy and she'll never understand why. You're swimming in your own conflict of wanting a partner and then feeling terrified of being a partner. I'm not saying it's hopeless, I'm saying you need to find a new therapist. If you've been in therapy for ten years, you should have made more progress by now. Therapists can only take you so far on a journey before progress plateaus. You're probably at that point with your current therapist, time to find a new one who will challenge you a little more. Because your issue really isn't about talking to women. You know how to do it, you just freak out and sabotage yourself because it scares you too much. Seriously no one here can actually help you solve that problem. This is the place to come for silly advice about what to wear on a date, or how soon after a date to call her to ask her out a second time. Edited May 17, 2016 by AMJ
Versacehottie Posted May 18, 2016 Posted May 18, 2016 OMG, it's siberia over here. So Porter do you have an update for us?
Author Porter56 Posted May 21, 2016 Author Posted May 21, 2016 OK sorry I was so brief in my last post. But it has not been a very good week for me. So.... Remember that promotion that I thought I had? Yeah I didn't get it. I don't want to go into all the details about what happened. It's a long story but it really doesn't matter. What's done is done. Green Eyes has been away all week on business. I haven't spoken to her since I was interviewed by her last Friday. So outside of the interview I have not talked to her in about 10 days. That high school friend of mine that I yelled at LOL. Yeah, he is now ignoring me LOL. And I haven't been out much this week. I did play in my first baseball game. It actually felt nice, I was the youngest guy there by at least 20 years lol. I did have fun with that and all the guys are really nice and I love baseball so it was fun to play again. A few of the guys there invited me to a barbecue Sunday afternoon with all of their families and I'm going to that this weekend. But I don't really have anything else going on. Most of my friends are married or about to get married so they usually have other stuff to do. So my weekend is WIDE open lol. I just feel really stupid about not getting the promotion. After I was on here bragging about how good I am at my job and then I didn't get it, it feels really embarrassing.
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