Should I tell my best friend that I love her (even tho I know she will reject me)?

[Ilusk]

No, her problem is real and I know that. She even went to a psychologist because she has a bad self-image and those kind of relationship/physical closeness problems.

 

I can't go deeper into this, because I just don't know the reasons and if there is anything else she doesn't like to talk about (I don't think so, but you never know). What I know is that this is real and not just to keep me away. It won't be necessary anyways, because I knew of her problems even before our relationship was at a point where I would maybe try to touch her to make a step or to show her what I feel.

 

 

But again, this doesn't mean that she does not have sex. As far as I know she had a normal sex life with her former boyfriends and she definitely enjoys having sex. Just without cuddling and all this stuff.

 

And NO, I don't think of a platonic relationship. Of course I think she is hot etc., but I know that she will probably never like to cuddle or holding hands or to sleep very close to each other, but that is okay.

 

Don't exaggerate. This doesn't mean that you can't have sex with this girl or that you are never allowed to touch her or to hug her.

[Standard-Fare]

After all this back and forth, the question still remains of whether you personally are willing to take the risk and try for some physical intimacy with this girl.

 

Because, really, that's going to be the only way for you to see if this thing has any future that's not solely platonic.

 

Saying the words "I'm in love with you" - that doesn't get you out of this bind. It's going to create the expectation of physical intimacy in the future, and from what it sounds like, this girl would never make the first move.

 

I also think she probably already realizes you're in love with her, from the way you've treated her. I think you don't have much to lose by taking the next step and trying to get physical. If she flat-out rejects you, at least you know where you stand -- and from there you can choose whether remaining in a platonic friendship is simply too painful.

 

If she seems hesitant, you'll have to navigate whether that's her intimacy issues or a specific issue with you personally.

[mikeylo]

You've got to step up , a bit aggressively. No working around unfortunately. See her reaction. Does she get nervous? If even after that she is around you , then yes, she wants to be more than friends but is hesitant for whatever reason.

 

After first aggressive approach ,calm down a bit and bring it on again. If she still is around , you have your answer.

[kamani]

Don't you guys have any common friend? This is not an unspeakable scenario like the OM/OW in this forum and you can get a second opinion from a common friend. We the total strangers can make wrong assumptions than your friends.

How long do you think you can go on like this? What would you do if she falls in love with someone in near future? Will you limit communication with her, or will still in touch with her as her best friend?

[desertfunguy]

I was a young guy 20 years ago and worked with a really gorgeous girl. She and I became close friends, and she told me everything. She broke up with her boyfriend and I knew I could probably get her, but thought she might get back together with him, so I hesitated. I honestly thought it was too good to be true. We went on a work trip to Vegas together and ended up sleeping together - her suggestion . I would never have been bold enough, I was a shy guy. It was the best two nights of my existence. For some stupid reason, I was an idiot and was standoffish with her after that. I loved her immensely and let that relationship die, because I thought she was out of my league. I did not want to get rejected later and was scared.

 

You can never be friends with a girl you love. You might as well go for broke, play every card you have and hope for the best. If she walks away, that would be better than pining for her. It may be, that she has a huge crush on you too. Young people have a hard time throwing it all in, but I think that is the only chance. I cannot imagine a stronger love, than one built on a solid foundation of friendship. If not, keep looking - you will not be happy as just her friend from now on anyways.

 

Don't make my mistake of youth.

[nightingal]

You should just tell her how you feel rather than wasting your time thinking about what ifs. Friendships do not last forever(in most of the cases, especially when it's between opposite genders)because the life partner/family/work takes priority over friendships. We hardly get any time to check on our friends once we find a life partner.

 

Talking about friendships between opposite genders, it can be really confusing for both the parties to read some of the signs. Because not everyone is the same, and I don't remember how many times I've posted in the very same forum asking if my best guy friend likes me or not. A guy who constantly keeps touching a gal can be doing it out of closeness, or may be out of lust or maybe he really likes her. You will never know for sure unless you have a conversation. And this can be very confusing for the gal(am a female) as there are lot of guy friends who buy gifts to their female friends and are touchy feely out of the closeness they have.

 

Trust me if you don't tell her how you feel today, it would be painful in the future to see her date other people. Atleast you will have an answer which makes moving on a tad bit easier for you.