Unsure15 Posted May 1, 2016 Posted May 1, 2016 Confusion. Heart broken. So I could use some opinions and advice. I was engaged and we broke it off in the summer of 2015. He's a big drinker and caused a lot of arguments. Never sober when he was home from work. We didn't have quality time together. He begged for me back for months but I knew nothing had changed. I started seeing someone after we broke up basically was a rebound to mask my pain (stupid) but he broke it off with me so now I'm single. For the past week I was hanging out with my ex fiancé. Who has a new gf for one month and is moving her across the country to live with him. He's finally now realizing he can't be drinking like that and it breaks my heart that someone else will reap the benefits of all my hard work. I feel like he's settling. It's pretty obvious without being said that we still care for eachother. I'm not trying to interfere with what he has now but do I hold any hope he'll come back? 1
Steven1 Posted May 1, 2016 Posted May 1, 2016 I would let the past stay where it is. Just because he is now (and for now only) isn't drinking and is with someone else, it's a new chapter in his life. Going back with you if he was to do so you have no guarantee's that he would remain sober, as that is a part of his life that is also associated with you. I think the biggest problem you have here, is that I suspect that you are actually over your ex fiance, as you said you never really had any quality time with him from one point to the next, I think the biggest problem was that you rebounded quickly and never really gave yourself time to heal. The emotions you are having now because he is with someone else, are probably feelings you would of went through a while ago if you hadn't of rebounded with someone. For me personally, I would wish him well done etc, and then move on the way you need to. Get with someone else when you are ready and not just to make yourself feel better. 1
AVeryConfusedGuy Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 What I always say with relationships, never say never. Just don't hold on to that hope and expectation and put your life on hold for it. Life is confusing and full of mystery. Maybe the chapter of you guys is finished. Maybe the story of your relationship will continue again one day, whether it's in the next few pages or perhaps chapters later on when things really are different. You just need to remind yourself that you were unhappy with him at one point, do NOT forget those feelings and be deceived by the feelings of missing him and your previous happy memories. I would just hope that if he does happen to dump this new girl to get back with you, that you would not have your arms wide open for him. You should start things at a snail pace and act like it's a new relationship where you both are different and changed. 1
Satu Posted May 3, 2016 Posted May 3, 2016 Don't think for a minute that it's going to be all sweetness and light for your ex and his new partner. Recovery from alcoholism is a long and rocky road. Let it go. Let him go. “The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line, Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.” - Omar Khayyam Take care. 1
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