Is he cheating or am I being overly paraniod??

[airbus]

lvgrl

 

Interesting point, but maybe you could consider why people worry so much, most likely you'll find the answer is because they have been hurt many times in the past and don't want it to happen again.

 

Balletgirl,

 

Yeah I do see your point! They probably are friends, but I just get worried as I dont want to lose her.

 

I am glad that you are okay though, thats good news.

[lvgrl]

yeah I understand that, but not all relationships are the same, and you cant punish the person you are with by not trusting them just because of some retard who cheated on you in the past..its not their fault..so why be so distrusting for something they didnt do??

[airbus]

I am not saying its happened just the once. If you have your heart broken on a number of occasions it does make you cautious, and sometimes you start to notice things (or feel that things are going wrong)

 

Like me, i've had my heart broken a few times. I am a nice guy, I will do anything to make a g/f happy, if I could i'd take the stars out of the nights sky for a g/f I would.. however that didn't stop them leaving me, and it makes me wonder why that is. I treat them well, give them what they want...etc and they leave. I dont cause them any problems, not even when they have broken up with me. All im saying is, when you are a guy like me, it does make you wonder. It develops an insecurity and therefore you start to feel that insecurity with your current partner.

[balletgirl]

I agree with you airbus.. The thing with me is that i have never been in such a long, and committed relationship.. Everything with me was always short term, which is why i have these feelings of insecurity.. But oh well.. I am getting much better with it, and i hope that you are too!!!!

[lvgrl]

thats just the thing, you cant always give girls what they want, then they know and think that all they have to do is look at something and your getting it for them. You make it too easy and then you get walked all over, so no need to try to figure it out cause its pretty much right there in front of your face.

 

And yeah I was in relationships that were like that. Speaking of, I was with this guy for about a year and then one night he leaves my house and about 30 minutes later some girl knocks on my door and tells me she has been with him for 2 years and shes prego! And then it all started to make sense and everything that he had ever lied to me about had finally come together, like him going to the football game with his dad when really SHE BOUGHT THOSE DAMN TICKETS AND THEY WENT TOGETHER..or all the times he was going out to eat with his parents when really HE WAS GOING WITH HER...try being with someone for a year who the entire time was with someone else...Im pretty sure I know how it feels..But the person I am with now doesnt get distrust because of him. I made a mistake and I learned from it.

 

And yeah past relationships have made me cautious of things now, but I dont let that get in my way..and Yes I also know that all of this is just my opinion and you have your own..

[fadi20]

Conquering your Jealousy

 

Jealousy. It may only be a simple word, but does not have such a simple definition behind it. There are many reasons we feel jealous and though it is a normal human emotion to feel, it tends to get out of control if we fail to tame it. In order to tame it and control it however, you will first have to learn where your jealousy is coming from. There is always a cause for jealousy to arise and once you have those causes figured out, controlling it will become easier.

 

When your jealous emotions come out, all you know is that you are feeling that way, correct? That is where you need to stop! It will be hard to remember, but you must take a pause every time you feel jealous and ask yourself why you feel that way. Does it have something to do with your own self-esteem, or does the person you are in a relationship with provide you with good reasons to feel this way? Speaking of self-esteem, jealousy is a good way of lowering it. So no matter what the reasons may be, it is extremely important for you to conquer it, otherwise it can do great damage to your self-esteem.

 

Once you figure out where your jealousy is coming from, you will then need to discover why it makes you feel jealous. For instance, if you figured out that it makes you jealous when your boyfriend or girlfriend talks to the opposite sex, then you need to discover why it makes you jealous. Did you have an experience in a previous relationship that now causes you to feel jealous with similar situations, or do you just have a fear of being betrayed? If so, why does that fear exist? Is your self-esteem a little lower than you thought? As you can see, there is a huge line of questions that need to be asked and answered in order for your jealousy to be conquered and under control. Acknowledging it is the first and important step, so you are already on the right and smart track!

 

Once you have realized where your jealousy comes from and what causes it, you can then concentrate on keeping it in control and hopefully get rid of it. If the reason has something

To do with your partner, then it is best to have a serious conversation with him or her about it. Do not be afraid or feel stupid for feeling the way you feel. You have the right to express yourself and they are entitled to knowing what is making you feel jealous. If they truly care about you, they will work on ways to prevent you from experiencing such emotions. It is also a good idea to make an appointment with yourself and find ways you can improve your self-love and health, so that you can gain more strength and confidence, and be ready fight off such jealousies when they come to surface.

 

Toning down your jealousy and possibly getting rid of it for good will take time. It all depends on the situations and reasons. If having a flirtatious partner makes you jealous and your partner stops flirting, then it may be easier to overcome. However, if your jealousy is coming from a different area such as your competitive nature towards other women, then it will be more difficult. It is very common for women to feel jealous of each other’s physique, success and relationships. The best way to fight this jealousy off is to improve your own self-health and lifestyle. Do things that boost your confidence. If you feel jealous of what great shape another woman is in and the attention she gets, then perhaps you should focus on yourself rather than her success. Concentrate on finding ways to satisfy yourself both physically and mentally.

 

Learning how to handle your jealous emotions will be a huge influence on how your situations will turn out. Combine your jealousy with a more rational emotion so that you can keep it from going overboard. If you combined it with an equally or almost equally stressful emotion such as anger, you will only push yourself back from reaching the outcomes you really want and are looking for. You could end up making a decision that will leave you feeling worse.

 

To keep yourself on the right track of jealousy conquering, just remember these steps:

 

• Acknowledge your Jealousy.

• Ask yourself where it is coming from.

• Question why it makes you feel Jealous.

• Make self-health and lifestyle changes that will assist you in fighting it off.

• Combine jealousy with a more rational emotion.

• Practice!

 

As long as you keep those steps in mind and follow them, you will learn how to take control of your jealousy instead of it controlling you. The last step is important . . . practice! You know the saying, practice makes perfect. So if you continue to practice these steps, controlling this stressful emotion will become easier and easier, until you have become a total master at it. Taking control of your emotions will make you the leader and not follower of your emotions, which can prevent you from entering many unwanted territories, such as break ups, low self-esteem, depression and even an increased amount of jealousy. You will be able to focus on the more important topics in your life and see things with a more clear and open mind, which will guide you into making better decisions and finding better solutions to the obstacles you will face in your relationships and life in general.

Alina Ruigrok is an independent relationship expert for http://www.love-sessions.com helping those in need of dating, love, relationship, marital, sexual and other personal advice through e-sessions.