missingmybaby Posted April 23, 2016 Posted April 23, 2016 Hi again all, So further to my recent posts me and my ex have seen a lot of each other recently and getting on rather well. We had a small argument the other day due to previous events but it seemed. No concrete conversations in regards to getting back together but strong signs it could happen. That was all before it hit the fan!! During the NC period when me and her were not being friends, we started talking approx 2 months after the split properly. I stupidly decided to have a one night stand with another ex of mine. I was extremley hurt after the break up and it happened. I was asked by my ex if i had slept with anyone recently and i denied it (silly me) i did this to protect myself and because part of me knew that she would dissapear if she knew the truth. She now knows the truth and obviously went mad saying about never talk to her again etc which i would expect. On the other hand i found out after we broke up (before sleeping with someone) she had been texting another guy for approx 1 month before we split and she admitted to going on a date with him but nothing else happened (not 100% sure though). She also posted pictures with him on social media. I know it was wrong to sleep with someone but as far as we both were concerned it was over and no further contact was going to be made. My questions really are: How can i make it up to her firstly? Get her to hopefully see sense and give us another go etc? Thanks in advance!
elaine567 Posted April 23, 2016 Posted April 23, 2016 She is 22 and lives at home with her parents, you are 28 with children, you are world's apart here. Since the break up, she has been treating you like her new platonic best friend and has even discussed her new dating history with you... I am sure she has now told the already disapproving parents all about how you have now "cheated" on her. This is not going to work out ever. Sorry! 1
Geminix004 Posted April 23, 2016 Posted April 23, 2016 She's dating a guy and she also knows you slept with someone.... Not looking good for you. If she has any common sense she will move on. Play your cards better next time.
lolablue17 Posted April 23, 2016 Posted April 23, 2016 You didn't mess up! You did just fine. She was trying to dance a very risky dance, in which she is Having you, wrapped around her finger, while she still can date other guys. She could have gotten your loyalty simply by saying "I don't date other guys, I want only you, I feel committed to you". But she chose to blur everything, while keeping all her options open. She has gambled, and lost. Now she's angry about you, wanting you to take the blame for her choices. And she's managed to do so... Look at you, taking the blame on you, acting as if you're her puppy. Tell her that next time, if she wants your commitment, she must give hers first. She intentionally made everything open for her own interest, she knew what she's doing and why, so now she can blame only herself. You did fine. You have the right to be with anyone, as long as she doesn't say she wants (and willing to give) exclusivity, and she didn't because she wanted to date other guys, something which she actually did. What nerve!!
Rainah Posted April 23, 2016 Posted April 23, 2016 If you break up with someone or they break up with you that doesn't mean stick around for months and be miserable and wait for them to return while they have fun with someone else, I think it means your able to move on yourself and be happy. She had no right to be mad for what you did when you both broke up.
LD1990 Posted April 23, 2016 Posted April 23, 2016 This is way too much drama for such a short relationship. She's too young and immature, her parents don't like you, and she seems to have a nice double standard where she can date people while you're broken up but you can't. There's nothing worth saving here, you're just gonna be in for more drama as long as you're with her.
Author missingmybaby Posted April 23, 2016 Author Posted April 23, 2016 Thanks for all your help and advice. We havent spoke at great length as too why we broke up and the issue with this other guy and obviously now this also. I think perhaps and i dont no for sure but maybe that guy was a rebound, im not 100% sure but i think they are done now, also and it fizzled so she came back to me to some extent. I feel she was upset that i slept with my ex but i do agree that we wernt together so it had no impact on her. Maybe its the classic "i dont want you but no one else can either" situation. She has said she doesnt want to speak to me but i would like to clear the air and have a talk but im not sure right now is the best time perhaps in a week or two may be better when time has helped heal. Any further advice is welcome
elaine567 Posted April 23, 2016 Posted April 23, 2016 They actually split up because the parents didn't approve of the OP and his "baggage", so given no choice, she ended it. She's young, she still lives at home, she couldn't really go against her parents wishes... Seems to me from the previous thread, she has "best friended" the OP since the split, but had no intention of getting back with him anyway Now he has lied, and she has caught him out on the lie, she doesn't even want to be "friends" now.
elaine567 Posted April 23, 2016 Posted April 23, 2016 OP please for your own sake, walk away and stop torturing yourself over this girl. Start NC and move on is my advice.
brothers343 Posted April 23, 2016 Posted April 23, 2016 You and her are futures apart.....she needs to mature and you need someone on your level. Some say that woman mature earlier than man. As you can see that is not the case here. Good luck.
Author missingmybaby Posted April 23, 2016 Author Posted April 23, 2016 Dont worry all i found out tonight that even though i spent the night with her 3 times this week she is now in a relationship with the other guy as of last weekend! Guess its time to move on!
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