-im on the brink....

[Sadtutu]

Please help, im on the brink of mental breakdown, getting suicidal.....

 

Its my boyfriend of 6,5 years. He breaks off with me all the time; he gives me ultimatums and if i dont do his way he gives me silent treatments, i forgot how many times already in those years...

 

Recent fight was about my modelling career - i received invitation for well paid photoshoot for magazine Playboy, it was for a lingerie photoshoot - nothing vulgar, nothing at all will be shown just body curves...and now he got mad at me for that because i didnt decline offer. he said to me its either this photoshooting or him and when i said "no one will decide about my life but me" he now gives me silent treatment, blocked me from emails and facebook....

 

I give him no reason to be jalous, i never went out at night with my girls because he would be jealous...he once give me silent treatment because i was out for a drink with friend till 22:00 o clock...

 

I always did the way he wanted and then i realized my life is empty, theres life not worth living...now he is mad at me and doesnt talk with me because of this photoshoot (i even asked him to go with me there but he refused).

 

It is one of the at least 100 silent treatments he gave me in these years...im on antidepressants and i cry everyday because i was always faithful and true to him and now that i need him the most he ignores me....it hurts so much

I would just end my life because i love this person and i guess he doesnt love me back..all the time he gives me ultimatums....i still love him but i know i cant take all the things i love to do from me -like my modelling career...

 

Please some advice...im so desperate, so sad my heart hurts...and i guess i just dont want to live anymore, because i gave everything to this guy and he does this to me all the time :(

[Grewd]

Obviously he doesn't deserve you. All you have to do is choose. Him with a life of giving up yourself to be his bit**, or yourself with the freedom to pursue what makes you happy. In my mind this choice is a no-brainer. Don't feel bad for dumping him either, you have given yourself to him, but what has he given in return? From the picture you describe, not much.

 

If you choose your happiness and freedom you're also free to choose a new boyfriend who loves you as you are. Not some poor loser who wants to control you.

 

He's also weak for returning again and again. If any man finds anything that is a part of who you are to be "bad", he should stay the f*** away. If he won't you should reject him and push him away, don't keep people who drag you down into depression.

 

You say you love him, but if you do it means you hate yourself. How can you love someone or something that ruins you and leads you to self-destruction. He's right about one thing, you must choose, but I wouldn't choose him if I were you.

Edited April 3, 2016 by Grewd

[neowulf]

 

Please some advice...im so desperate, so sad my heart hurts...and i guess i just dont want to live anymore, because i gave everything to this guy and he does this to me all the time :(

 

You're boyfriend is controlling. He's projecting his own insecurities about your attractiveness onto you, because he struggles with how attractive you are.

 

Sadly, this is a very common dynamic.

 

Please consider getting yourself some professional counselling. There's only so much advice on an internet forum can do for you. You'll need ongoing, professional support to help you deal with this.