I don't know what do with her, because she's unsure about her feelings

[ExpatInItaly]

That's indeed what she says. Can confirm it now.

 

 

@Toodaloo & Satu:

 

She texted me just now saying that the husband wants to meet me and that we can go out the three of us, one of those days, and that he doesn't have any problems with it. Things are getting weird...

I don't want anybody to get hurt.

 

He might not have any bad intentions, but what can I know.

 

I'm sorry, but you would be totally insane to meet up with them. Something is very fishy about this whole scenario and I think you're being fed an awful lot of BS. I have a bad feeling there's a hidden agenda here (beyond being a married woman's side piece) and it's not going to end well for you. Heaven knows who's actually behind this invitation to meet and what awaits you.

 

I don't believe for one second her husband is okay with this. Stay away from them. Your gut is screaming at you that something is very off. Listen to it and cut contact.

 

Does she know where you live and work? I am guessing she does.

[Matthew245]

Does she know where you live and work? I am guessing she does.

 

Yes. She does.

 

Even assuming he doesn't have any bad intentions, why should I meet him?

Edited April 1, 2016 by Matthew245

[preraph]

You need to tell her you're getting out of her life until she decides what she wants and not to come to you until a divorce is final and she is over him.

[Curiousroxy86]

Hi guys,

 

here's my situation: I met this girl 7 months ago (I'm 24 and she's 26). When I met her she was officially married (and still is) with another guy. She moved abroad to change her life, because she was having problems with her husband for over a year, and that's when she met me.

 

We dated all this time. In the meantime she was still talking with her husband almost on a daily-basis. She always said she feels great with me and that she's very happy, but she never had the courage to leave him.

 

A couple of days ago her husband came here, without telling her, because he wanted to make her a surprise. Now she's with him and doesn't know what to do. The husband knows about me and her, she talks about it everyday, and his response was 'feel free to date him, but I will stay here with you'.

 

I want to points out the fact that her husband is unemployed and almost don't have any money now. She doesn't have the courage to leave him and, on the other hand, he will never leave her because he depends on her, economically.

 

I also need to say that she's always been very unsure about her feelings. For example, the other day she wrote me that she misses me so much and that I can't leave her, because I'm the most beautiful thing that ever happened to her. A couple of hours later, she wrote me that maybe is better if we don't see each other anymore and that I need to leave her so that she can suffer from it, because that's what she deserves.

 

I saw her today for like 10mn and after that she wrote that we cannot see each other anymore. An hour later, she wrote me again saying I'm important to her but she's not 100% sure about her feelings. She said that if she would've single, we would've been officially together by now. But given the situation, she doesn't know if she should leave her husband for me.

 

She's making me crazy. What should I do?

 

Thank you!

 

In my opinion leave that girl alone. Stop making excuses for her. This is not what you want. You want a girl who is single and willing to be in an exclusive relationship not some girl who is married and hot and cold about leaving her husband. You know what you should do. Quit playing lol.

[Matthew245]

@preraph & Curiousroxy86:

 

Yeah, I guess you're right. Even this morning she wrote me that she misses me, wants to stay with me, wants to do a trip together and all this stuff.

 

But I cannot live on her words. Until she does something about it, nothing will change. If she truly wants to stay with me, she'll do something about it. If not, it means that she just likes to talk.

 

I don't know how all of this will end, but this is the last time that I'll allow someone to be abusive towards me by playing with my feelings. It's the worst feeling ever.

[Curiousroxy86]

@preraph & Curiousroxy86:

 

Yeah, I guess you're right. Even this morning she wrote me that she misses me, wants to stay with me, wants to do a trip together and all this stuff.

 

But I cannot live on her words. Until she does something about it, nothing will change. If she truly wants to stay with me, she'll do something about it. If not, it means that she just likes to talk.

 

I don't know how all of this will end, but this is the last time that I'll allow someone to be abusive towards me by playing with my feelings. It's the worst feeling ever.

 

Amen to that. I know it hurts but it's also freeing because we have the power of decision and we can choose to participate or not when someone presents less than what your looking for in a relationship. Good luck to you.