Author privategal Posted April 20, 2016 Author Share Posted April 20, 2016 I'm very new here and making my way around the forum. I feel thankful to have found it. You are a poster who makes coming here so utterly rewarding. I read your posts over and over, nodding at everything you say. I really do marvel when I think how much thought, how much wisdom and how much caring you put into your responses to the pain of others. And to borrow your lovely word, I feel humbled when I read, and I think how can anyone possibly improve on anything you say. Anyone who has you in their corner is lucky. If a fraction of the good you put out in the world comes back to you (and of course it will) then you will weather this and other pain and heal completely! I've been reading and thinking about your thread ever since it opened, but have hesitated to post because it feels presumptuous- or actually it feels redundant. I've been thinking there's not one thing I could say that you wouldn't have known already. But then I realized reading the other wonderful posts in this thread that the one thing I can say that you might not know is just how much a total stranger such as me appreciates in you- and how good this forum feels because you are in it! You have my warmest good wishes always. Sending you strength and hugs! Oh gosh...Im crying, truly tears streaming down my face for real...my entire life, even what I do for work my prayer has been to HELP people. I have the biggest heart...I think that all the time so its so WEIRD to have anyone see or say that. THANK YOU TOO for being in the forum. Please keep posting and let us help you!! 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author privategal Posted April 20, 2016 Author Share Posted April 20, 2016 (edited) Omg! Im so excited to share this post I found. I sometimes scroll down and reas related posts. This will make you think twice before accepting contact from exap...its just a really cool story of an ex breaking nc and wait til you hear what he had to say...wow. Guys! We can do this..if you broke up its for GOOD reason and these @ss-clowns dont change. Ha ha excuse my language, trying to get some smiles. Hope you guys love this post as much as I did. STAY NC this chicks post was awesome example why and shes so strong too! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/155281-oh-my-god-he-texted-me Edited April 20, 2016 by privategal 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Adoraxx Posted April 21, 2016 Share Posted April 21, 2016 I moved for work and was purposely seeking work in a new city. I was about to turn 40 and wanted a big new start with new places and things and adventure. I was feeling stuck where I was, antsy, not happy, bored...I knew life was bigger elsewhere. All I had loved was in that city so leaving my friends and memories was hard but I was ready and just figured with technology, planes, facebook...Id stay in touch and visit. If you do ever move Adoraxx if you end in a civil kind way (need to re-read your story Im getting everyones mixed up and cant remember if its over) and say a kind and firm goodbye, it will still hurt but the new journey will excite you and help you heal as all the triggers and reminders are no longer there. My biggest regret was not saying a REAL and final true goodbye and closing the book when I left that last morning. I should have never brought that friendship here at all. I was so excited to see this city, its MUCH bigger than where I was from and so much to do its overwhelming and I wanted to do and see it all...and I have done so much but in the beginning when I first got here he called and wrote every day. I would send pictures at his request (not pics of me) but of all the landmarks, the beaches, where I was, what I was doing...I brought him along happily sharing my new journey then he broke up our friendship after about 2 months maybe. Its hard to understand for some but it changed everything. The lights in my new city went out, all the experiences felt hollow...I live in a nicer place than we had ever been able to afford and my new beautiful apartment and patio became a place of greiving and tears. I started a new job and its my dream job and suddenly I could barely get myself out of bed to go...I went to work with puffy eyes, often hungover from drinking beer just to try to sleep, its been a nightmare and Im truly lost as to how ONE person in a world of billions could affect my whole life that profoundly. So...if you move...my vote is close the door and dont bring anyone into the new journey who was not good for your life. Yes, that's the plan.... Leave without 'bringing him with me ' (by staying touch by email etc). The A with him is over but he is my neighbor and I haven't really talked to him for months now. Apparently he doesn't want to stay in touch with me anyway. Either way, if I speak to him again, it will be done in a calm way because I know how obsessive I get when I end things on a bad note (with 'end' I mean 'leave this town') Do you still feel like the light in your city have gone out or does it seem a little brighter to you again? I can sooo relate to all that you write and I totally understand what you're saying (((((((((((((((((( HUGS ))))))))))))) Love, Adoraxx Link to post Share on other sites
Adoraxx Posted April 21, 2016 Share Posted April 21, 2016 (edited) Omg! Im so excited to share this post I found. I sometimes scroll down and reas related posts. This will make you think twice before accepting contact from exap...its just a really cool story of an ex breaking nc and wait til you hear what he had to say...wow. Guys! We can do this..if you broke up its for GOOD reason and these @ss-clowns dont change. Ha ha excuse my language, trying to get some smiles. Hope you guys love this post as much as I did. STAY NC this chicks post was awesome example why and shes so strong too! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/155281-oh-my-god-he-texted-me Unbelievable! This is totally my xMM too, pfff "first on his list" huh? They really don't change!!!!! I love what she writes here: In the past year, I've made tremendous strides. This breakup really pushed me out of my comfort zone and forced me to grow as a person. I learned what I was capable of. I would never have run off to the jungle alone if he hadn't broken my heart, and now I know I can run off to the jungle alone. That's a major thing to know about oneself. I also know I can write a book no matter what. Even through tremendous heartbreak I have continued writing and dancing. I've learned so much about myself, and he's still touring like a maniac, just like he was when last we spoke. He still clams up when I try to talk to him. He hasn't learned anything about communication or taking responsibility for his actions. Thanks for posting the thread!! Edited April 21, 2016 by Adoraxx Link to post Share on other sites
Author privategal Posted April 21, 2016 Author Share Posted April 21, 2016 Yes, that's the plan.... Leave without 'bringing him with me ' (by staying touch by email etc). The A with him is over but he is my neighbor and I haven't really talked to him for months now. Apparently he doesn't want to stay in touch with me anyway. Either way, if I speak to him again, it will be done in a calm way because I know how obsessive I get when I end things on a bad note (with 'end' I mean 'leave this town') Do you still feel like the light in your city have gone out or does it seem a little brighter to you again? I can sooo relate to all that you write and I totally understand what you're saying (((((((((((((((((( HUGS ))))))))))))) Love, Adoraxx Hugs back Adoraxx! I feel like the lights went back on but still dimmer ha ha! I go to alot of places I never in my life dreamed Id see! The spring sunshine is helping me so much too. I dont think you need to talk to him at all if you moved away. AT ALL. NO explanation needed...none. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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