Reading too much into it?

[Satu]

Thanks to you all. And yes, I'm doing both, venting and looking for support and advice. It's very hard. I am 60 years old and think of my future everyday. We have talked about splitting, but he knows how much I have put into my home and I want to keep it, however he has stated he's not leaving unless he gets a certain amount from me buying him out. When I nentioned the amount was way more than it's worth and half, he told me I could be made to pay him alimony because I am working and make way more than he ever did. I didn't discuss that any further with him. And yes... It's time for legal counseling.

 

You deserve a life so much better than this.

 

Keep posting so that people can give you support and encouragement.

 

Do talk to that lawyer.

 

 

Take care.

[standtall]

Wow Melanie..your situation sucks. You were right to suspect things about that picture. That was very disrespectful and you're just scratching the surface. You need to dig deeper or hire someone to get more info to see if your marriage is worth saving. Good Luck.

[Miss Peach]

Thanks to you all. And yes, I'm doing both, venting and looking for support and advice. It's very hard. I am 60 years old and think of my future everyday. We have talked about splitting, but he knows how much I have put into my home and I want to keep it, however he has stated he's not leaving unless he gets a certain amount from me buying him out. When I nentioned the amount was way more than it's worth and half, he told me I could be made to pay him alimony because I am working and make way more than he ever did. I didn't discuss that any further with him. And yes... It's time for legal counseling.

 

This is a possibility which is why legal help is necessary to figure out whether you would want to divorce or separate. I had an abusive ex who would say/do mean things to me in anger. In the end I had to pay him alimony for a few years.

 

At this point these sound like more threats though to keep you from even entertaining the idea. I would just do a few consults. Many lawyers do them for free and will even do them on the phone.

 

FWIW my marriage wasn't as long as yours but it was lonely and difficult at first. After some time my life was much better once I got rid of the dead weight. I am doing so much better without him now.

[S2B]

After confronting my husband about a picture of some woman and her kids on his den wall, he claimed it was his friends ex wife and daughters whom he is like a uncle to. He resented me questioning him about them and is angry that I accused him of having a relationship with her. But we have been married thirty two years and I have never seen or heard of these people before. He has not been speaking to me and has been sleeping in another bedroom. Today I noticed a flashing blue light on his den wall. I went in to see what it was and its a small unit mounted on his light switch. It's blinking constantly. Is this some kind of spy camera, or motion detector? This really looks bad like he's definitely got something to hide and I guess he wants to know if I go in the room. This is our home and he has this stuff up to keep aware if I go in there? It makes me feel uncomfortable in my own home!

 

Inspect the camera. Unplug it if needed... It's your home.

 

Then look around the room and find out what he's hiding.

 

Based on your info there no marriage anyway - I'd be filing for divorce - I'm wondering why you stay.

[GunslingerRoland]

What kind of a marriage is this? Even if you have nothing to be jealous of, you don't do anything together, you don't even go to bed together.

 

 

Look at it like this, if his story about those girls is true... then that means your husband of 5 years, has these girls that he is so close to that they call him uncle and you've never even seen these girls or knew that they exist. I'm not saying married couples need to do everything together, but it's supposed to be sharing a life, and you don't even know anything about his.