Dis Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 kztar, I'm very sorry this happened to you. At least now you can get on with your life knowing there is no going back. I suspect you will feel rage, possibly even hurt and it's something you'll have to deal with until you feel okay enough to say positively you are ready to move on completely. I am also sure that your ex-boyfriend is someone who needs his bruised ego rubbed and that's exactly why he has this new girl so quickly. People who tend to move on so fast are usually insecure and "need" someone, those relationships do not last long whatsoever. Focus on healing now and trying to be happy. You deserve it. This is very true. People that jump from relationship to relationship are never truly happy with who they are. Theyre trying to fill a void that will forever remain empty. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kztar Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 Hi kztar! I'm so sorry to hear that! Your heart mustve dropped into your stomach when you saw that pic! You mentioned your dating again. Now this is just my take on your choice to resume dating so please do correct me if I'm wrong. #1 -You got upset at seeing your ex with another girl #2-You were so upset you actually broke NC. Are you sure youre ready to date? If you have any lingering feelings for your ex and still feel the need to contact him for whatever reason, I dont know if dating is a good idea. Its kind of like slapping a bandaid on a gaping wound and trying to forget its there. Again, if you disagree, I respect that. I'm just looking out for you because it can be counter productive to date when you havent fully let go of your ex. I dont want you to delay your healing process by jumping the gun. Hi Disillusionment373, no I was not upset I broke NC at all. If anything I am happy I did. It provided me with closure, the one he could not give me up front. I am the kind of person who let things go for good but it's hard when there are so many unanswered questions. In every situation, not just relationship, I MUST solve the problem before I can move on from it. I did learn from it that I need to be much more pickier when selecting someone to date. Get to know them before I invest my emotions into that. So what I mean by dating is honestly just going out on dates and enjoying myself with friends and guys. Im not ready to pursue any relationship right now not even a fwb. I did have casual sex with this one guy I had casual sex in college and it was great. I didn't think of my ex or anything like that so not bad. My mom is asking me when Im getting a new boyfriend and it's already driving me crazy. I feel like the pressure from my family is only going to get worst. My family is hispanic/latino to be exact Dominican and my mom thinks that by now I should already be having kids and all this stuff. To top off some of my friends have been in good LTR and are getting married this summer. I was 4 years old by the time she was my age. I am going to be 26 in less than a month and ughhh everyone tells me "im young and this and that" but at home and elsewhere this is NOT what I hear. Anyways just venting a bit LOL. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kztar Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 This is very true. People that jump from relationship to relationship are never truly happy with who they are. Theyre trying to fill a void that will forever remain empty. Well look at it this way. He can be with this girl forever and I don't know but he's doing the same things he did with me. He's moving super fast. That in itself is a red flag. I would not trust someone who came out of a relationship and is moving that fast. NO WAY. Link to post Share on other sites
Dis Posted April 8, 2016 Share Posted April 8, 2016 Hi Disillusionment373, no I was not upset I broke NC at all. If anything I am happy I did. It provided me with closure, the one he could not give me up front. I am the kind of person who let things go for good but it's hard when there are so many unanswered questions. In every situation, not just relationship, I MUST solve the problem before I can move on from it. I did learn from it that I need to be much more pickier when selecting someone to date. Get to know them before I invest my emotions into that. So what I mean by dating is honestly just going out on dates and enjoying myself with friends and guys. Im not ready to pursue any relationship right now not even a fwb. I did have casual sex with this one guy I had casual sex in college and it was great. I didn't think of my ex or anything like that so not bad. My mom is asking me when Im getting a new boyfriend and it's already driving me crazy. I feel like the pressure from my family is only going to get worst. My family is hispanic/latino to be exact Dominican and my mom thinks that by now I should already be having kids and all this stuff. To top off some of my friends have been in good LTR and are getting married this summer. I was 4 years old by the time she was my age. I am going to be 26 in less than a month and ughhh everyone tells me "im young and this and that" but at home and elsewhere this is NOT what I hear. Anyways just venting a bit LOL. Ahhh ok I get it now Yes I started dating with that intention too. Its a nice distraction. I'm glad your just dating casually now...nothing wrong with that. If anything its good practice for being able to recognise a jerk when you meet one. I can relate to being much more picky and not getting invested too soon. I'm dating again right now, I am at a point where I'm ready for a relationship. Its fun once you stop forcing things and let the chips fall where they may! I've been on 4 dates in the past 3 weeks. I turned 3 of them down as I didnt feel a more than a friend vibe. The other one I'm seeing tomorrow night. Now that I'm letting go alittle and holding myself to a higher standard, I find I have so many more options that I did before. Dating is much more fun this time around. I'm liking it! And omgggg your 26??? Your so young!!! I'm 29 and I completly understand that pressure you feel!!! But you know what? When I am happily married later on, I'll be glad I took my time. I know plenty of people who got married and had kids in their 20's and theyre miserable! I dont think we are really ready for marriage and kids until our 30's. Have fun with where your at right now! Enjoy being single and playing the field! Trust me, once you let go alittle, drop the pressure, dating is enjoyable! And I'm so glad you got closure! I know what you mean about needing to solve a problem before you can let it go, I think thats part of human nature. You have the answers you needed now which will hopefully set you free Link to post Share on other sites
kztar Posted April 11, 2016 Share Posted April 11, 2016 Ahhh ok I get it now Yes I started dating with that intention too. Its a nice distraction. I'm glad your just dating casually now...nothing wrong with that. If anything its good practice for being able to recognise a jerk when you meet one. I can relate to being much more picky and not getting invested too soon. I'm dating again right now, I am at a point where I'm ready for a relationship. Its fun once you stop forcing things and let the chips fall where they may! I've been on 4 dates in the past 3 weeks. I turned 3 of them down as I didnt feel a more than a friend vibe. The other one I'm seeing tomorrow night. Now that I'm letting go alittle and holding myself to a higher standard, I find I have so many more options that I did before. Dating is much more fun this time around. I'm liking it! And omgggg your 26??? Your so young!!! I'm 29 and I completly understand that pressure you feel!!! But you know what? When I am happily married later on, I'll be glad I took my time. I know plenty of people who got married and had kids in their 20's and theyre miserable! I dont think we are really ready for marriage and kids until our 30's. Have fun with where your at right now! Enjoy being single and playing the field! Trust me, once you let go alittle, drop the pressure, dating is enjoyable! And I'm so glad you got closure! I know what you mean about needing to solve a problem before you can let it go, I think thats part of human nature. You have the answers you needed now which will hopefully set you free Hey girl. Yeah thats what i've been up to in reality. So how did your date go?. I saw you started another thread, very interesting. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Apparition Posted April 22, 2016 Author Share Posted April 22, 2016 Haven't updated this thread in a while, life has been incredibly busy. How are you all? Link to post Share on other sites
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