Got back with my ex gf, but then she played me!!

[Jay745]

1st thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/566897-seriously-most-devastating-breakup-ever

 

2nd thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/568220-what-if-she-doesn-t-contact-me-my-birthday

 

Hey guys..I'm back..again. Okay this is so ****ed up on so many levels of my ex gf. Her character is disgusting to me now.

 

I'm going to begin by continuing where I left off from on my second thread.

 

My ex and I met face to face so I can hand her belongings back on Feb.1. She texted me before we met saying if I wanted to drink with her and I said sure. We ended up drinking, but we didn't hook up. She made it clear that she doesn't want me to touch her or anything of that sort. So i respected that and we established a friendship, although I was secretly hoping to get back together. Over the next 2 days, she hits me up everyday asking to hangout or talk to me, in a friendly manner of course.

 

I continue to hangout with her and on the 3rd day she tells me how she's been talking to this guy that she met at a gas station when she went clubbing with her friends. She told me how he asked her if she wants to go get ice cream at this new place and she said she went with him and then she told me they made out pretty violently. She told me how she then drove to his house with her friends and she peeked through his window and saw him laying down naked and then rubbed in my face how big is penis looked. She told me she was pretty drunk that night, but she's allergic to alcohol so I think she was lying about that. The funny thing is she didn't have sex with him, according to her. She said he's respectful and didn't want to take advantage. My ex gf is 18 years old and this guy is 25 years old. His mom passed away and left him a large sum of money. He has a couple businesses and has his own house. He is filthy rich for his age. She then continues to tell me how the guy does not want to see her and keeps making excuses to not see her. He even tells her that he is talking to this other girl that is planning to move in with him. She obviously really likes this guys and wants to get to know him more even though he is treating her like ****. So i just give her advice on how to play it and so forth. I was playing it really chill and didn't let it bother me even though I was dying inside.

 

The next day she wants to hangout again and we do. Later that night when I take her home I tell her that we need to sever ties because I still had feelings for her and it's just hurting me. She tries to shrug it off, but then all of a sudden kisses me and I told her that her kiss doesn't mean much and isn't very convincing. I help her take out the trash before I leave for good and she pulls me close and starts making out with me and touches me in my private area. I also do the same. She then breaks down and lets out all the bad stuff I did to her to break her heart.<<<THREAD 1<<< I apologize and promise her that I've changed and she is just going to have to trust me. I also told her to get rid of that guy on snapchat/phone, which she did. I even asked her that if he were to contact her, would she reply? She said no and that it is really easy to cut guys out of her life.

 

So now we are back together and everything is cool, but things feel a little off. I thought it was because we just got back together so no big deal. I even took her to Disneyland for Valentine's day and she loved it. The weird thing is, she wouldn't show me off on snap chat. She usually would way back then, but I didn't look much into it until she was actively trying to avoid getting me in pictures. We act as a couple and talk as a couple so I thought everything is cool.

 

Three days later I catch her on snap chat talking to that same guy again. I was furious on the inside, but I hid it inside me. I told her why she added him back. The crazy thing is, that she blocked him and deleted him (cause of me) and now she added him back. She told me that they are just friends and nothing is happening. I ask her if she still likes him and she denies it, but it's obvious she does. I told her to go to him if she likes him and to not waste my time. I was about to dump her right there, but I asked her how much she likes me and she said a lot. On top of that she said she felt devastated and sad about what she is doing and then she deleted him..AGAIN. I told her that this isn't fair to me and if this was somebody that she hooked up with a long time ago then I would understand, but this happened very recently and it makes me very uncomfortable. I put her in her place without being an ******* about it and told her that this is the last time we are ever talking about this.

 

This all happened yesterday. Today, she ****ing added him AGAIN! I looked through her phone while she was in the restroom and I got pissed so I through her phone across the room. I asked her why she added him back and she didn't say much so then I started to chew her out and I have every right to because of the silly games she is playing while I'm over here ACTUALLY treating her good and putting in effort. Oh and she listened and hopefully understood. She then tells me how she is still heart broken and can't get over the past and I tell her that if she was then why would she get back with me in the first place. On top of that she acts all lovey dovey with me, like a couple should. So it must be somewhat fake. Sometimes I noticed she would act a little distant so I've felt this whole week that something was definitely up. I continued telling her that how can she accept us to work out if she is still talking to that guy. Honestly, I believe she is hoping that he drops that other girl and picks my ex up. My ex honestly needs to have more respect for herself and ME! I explain to her how she messed up bad this time and she cant blame none of this on me. She breaks down and then brings up the past and how i used to treat her and I tell her that this is different and if she can't accept the past then we should end things. She broke down crying several times during this 30 minute face to face conversation.

 

She tells me how she likes me, but isn't physically attracted to me. And I'm just standing there baffled, listening to what's coming out of her mouth. We make out, kiss, she jerks me off(kinda), I finger her. What the heck is she saying?? I guess she means she is not as physically attracted to me like she used to be. We haven't had sex at all though because she picked up a skin infection and it is getting pretty severe so I understood. She has been just waiting it out to see if it gets better, but it hasn't so she is now at the hospital. SHE'LL SURVIVE.

 

Anyways, back to what I was saying..she then tells me that "this may sound messed up, I will be miserable and lonely without you, but I'm not going to stop talking to him." So i ask her to tell me honestly if she still likes him and she says "idk probably" which means she does.

 

It's a pretty ****ty excuse saying I broke her heart, but yet she's not committed to me and is flirting with another guy. Saying she's not physically attracted to me anymore is not even worth bringing up. She still likes him and keeps bringing him in the picture. I told her that there is nothing left to say and that either she's all in or I'm out. I don't want a half ass relationship. She's been half assing and playing around this whole time. She's even keeping in touch with that guy. Obviously, she is using me to fall back on.

There is no point in fighting for her anymore. Especially since she likes that guy.

 

This all happened 4 hours ago and she is still texting me and snap chatting me. She first sent me saying, "I will always love you, but right now I need to focus on myself." WHAT?! She can't love me and focus on her self at the same time? I keep ignoring everything, but she continues to blow up my phone. She's just texting me random stuff about the hospital and blah blah. Pretty much trying to create conversation that is not related to this situation at all. She's acting like nothing happened. She's not fooling me this time.

 

What are your thoughts on this and her? I know I should run as far as possible, but the fact that I still have feelings for her makes it hard. All I know is, if anything does happen I'm going to make it really hard for her to come back. Other than that, I'm moving on.

[Alamo657]

 

What are your thoughts on this and her? I know I should run as far as possible, but the fact that I still have feelings for her makes it hard. All I know is, if anything does happen I'm going to make it really hard for her to come back. Other than that, I'm moving on.

 

She's 18, she needs to experiment before she settles. Forget about her and find a more mature girl.

[266696687]

1st thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/566897-seriously-most-devastating-breakup-ever

 

2nd thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/568220-what-if-she-doesn-t-contact-me-my-birthday

 

Hey guys..I'm back..again. Okay this is so ****ed up on so many levels of my ex gf. Her character is disgusting to me now.

 

I'm going to begin by continuing where I left off from on my second thread.

 

My ex and I met face to face so I can hand her belongings back on Feb.1. She texted me before we met saying if I wanted to drink with her and I said sure. We ended up drinking, but we didn't hook up. She made it clear that she doesn't want me to touch her or anything of that sort. So i respected that and we established a friendship, although I was secretly hoping to get back together. Over the next 2 days, she hits me up everyday asking to hangout or talk to me, in a friendly manner of course.

 

I continue to hangout with her and on the 3rd day she tells me how she's been talking to this guy that she met at a gas station when she went clubbing with her friends. She told me how he asked her if she wants to go get ice cream at this new place and she said she went with him and then she told me they made out pretty violently. She told me how she then drove to his house with her friends and she peeked through his window and saw him laying down naked and then rubbed in my face how big is penis looked. She told me she was pretty drunk that night, but she's allergic to alcohol so I think she was lying about that. The funny thing is she didn't have sex with him, according to her. She said he's respectful and didn't want to take advantage. My ex gf is 18 years old and this guy is 25 years old. His mom passed away and left him a large sum of money. He has a couple businesses and has his own house. He is filthy rich for his age. She then continues to tell me how the guy does not want to see her and keeps making excuses to not see her. He even tells her that he is talking to this other girl that is planning to move in with him. She obviously really likes this guys and wants to get to know him more even though he is treating her like ****. So i just give her advice on how to play it and so forth. I was playing it really chill and didn't let it bother me even though I was dying inside.

 

The next day she wants to hangout again and we do. Later that night when I take her home I tell her that we need to sever ties because I still had feelings for her and it's just hurting me. She tries to shrug it off, but then all of a sudden kisses me and I told her that her kiss doesn't mean much and isn't very convincing. I help her take out the trash before I leave for good and she pulls me close and starts making out with me and touches me in my private area. I also do the same. She then breaks down and lets out all the bad stuff I did to her to break her heart.<<<THREAD 1<<< I apologize and promise her that I've changed and she is just going to have to trust me. I also told her to get rid of that guy on snapchat/phone, which she did. I even asked her that if he were to contact her, would she reply? She said no and that it is really easy to cut guys out of her life.

 

So now we are back together and everything is cool, but things feel a little off. I thought it was because we just got back together so no big deal. I even took her to Disneyland for Valentine's day and she loved it. The weird thing is, she wouldn't show me off on snap chat. She usually would way back then, but I didn't look much into it until she was actively trying to avoid getting me in pictures. We act as a couple and talk as a couple so I thought everything is cool.

 

Three days later I catch her on snap chat talking to that same guy again. I was furious on the inside, but I hid it inside me. I told her why she added him back. The crazy thing is, that she blocked him and deleted him (cause of me) and now she added him back. She told me that they are just friends and nothing is happening. I ask her if she still likes him and she denies it, but it's obvious she does. I told her to go to him if she likes him and to not waste my time. I was about to dump her right there, but I asked her how much she likes me and she said a lot. On top of that she said she felt devastated and sad about what she is doing and then she deleted him..AGAIN. I told her that this isn't fair to me and if this was somebody that she hooked up with a long time ago then I would understand, but this happened very recently and it makes me very uncomfortable. I put her in her place without being an ******* about it and told her that this is the last time we are ever talking about this.

 

This all happened yesterday. Today, she ****ing added him AGAIN! I looked through her phone while she was in the restroom and I got pissed so I through her phone across the room. I asked her why she added him back and she didn't say much so then I started to chew her out and I have every right to because of the silly games she is playing while I'm over here ACTUALLY treating her good and putting in effort. Oh and she listened and hopefully understood. She then tells me how she is still heart broken and can't get over the past and I tell her that if she was then why would she get back with me in the first place. On top of that she acts all lovey dovey with me, like a couple should. So it must be somewhat fake. Sometimes I noticed she would act a little distant so I've felt this whole week that something was definitely up. I continued telling her that how can she accept us to work out if she is still talking to that guy. Honestly, I believe she is hoping that he drops that other girl and picks my ex up. My ex honestly needs to have more respect for herself and ME! I explain to her how she messed up bad this time and she cant blame none of this on me. She breaks down and then brings up the past and how i used to treat her and I tell her that this is different and if she can't accept the past then we should end things. She broke down crying several times during this 30 minute face to face conversation.

 

She tells me how she likes me, but isn't physically attracted to me. And I'm just standing there baffled, listening to what's coming out of her mouth. We make out, kiss, she jerks me off(kinda), I finger her. What the heck is she saying?? I guess she means she is not as physically attracted to me like she used to be. We haven't had sex at all though because she picked up a skin infection and it is getting pretty severe so I understood. She has been just waiting it out to see if it gets better, but it hasn't so she is now at the hospital. SHE'LL SURVIVE.

 

Anyways, back to what I was saying..she then tells me that "this may sound messed up, I will be miserable and lonely without you, but I'm not going to stop talking to him." So i ask her to tell me honestly if she still likes him and she says "idk probably" which means she does.

 

It's a pretty ****ty excuse saying I broke her heart, but yet she's not committed to me and is flirting with another guy. Saying she's not physically attracted to me anymore is not even worth bringing up. She still likes him and keeps bringing him in the picture. I told her that there is nothing left to say and that either she's all in or I'm out. I don't want a half ass relationship. She's been half assing and playing around this whole time. She's even keeping in touch with that guy. Obviously, she is using me to fall back on.

There is no point in fighting for her anymore. Especially since she likes that guy.

 

This all happened 4 hours ago and she is still texting me and snap chatting me. She first sent me saying, "I will always love you, but right now I need to focus on myself." WHAT?! She can't love me and focus on her self at the same time? I keep ignoring everything, but she continues to blow up my phone. She's just texting me random stuff about the hospital and blah blah. Pretty much trying to create conversation that is not related to this situation at all. She's acting like nothing happened. She's not fooling me this time.

 

What are your thoughts on this and her? I know I should run as far as possible, but the fact that I still have feelings for her makes it hard. All I know is, if anything does happen I'm going to make it really hard for her to come back. Other than that, I'm moving on.

 

I'm sorry but she is young, immature and extremely selfish.

 

She has no respect for you, your relationship or any friendship you might have had at one point. You are absolutely right to think she is using you as a backup because she is clearly.

 

This girl is walking all over you and you have been letting her.

 

She wants the other guy but he isnt interested so she is using you as a boyfriend while she works on him. That's why she is talking to him. She is hoping he will eventually want her. She'll drop you in a heartbeat and you'll never hear from her again if he decides he wants her.

 

You are wasting your time with her. You are not her number 1 and she clearly doesn't have any respect for you or your feelings.

 

You've said your piece to her already so she is aware you aren't together. You should go complete NC from this point onwards. Block her everywhere don't allow her to try and use your emotions against you so she can keep you in reserve.

 

Have some self respect and realise she is treating you awfully and you shouldn't accept that behvaiour from her or anyone. She is using you.

 

Block her so you can no longer see her messages. Delete her from everything social media etc. Remove her from your life. Do not allow her any access to you.

 

I know this will be hard for you as you clearly have feelings for her but it's what needs to be done as she doesn't reciprocate your feelings at all.

[mightycpa]

Not sure what your question is... that it's going to be difficult? Yes it is. Especially because you're keeping the lines of communication open. If you don't shut them down, you're going to stumble a few more times.

 

There is one thing you can be sure of. One way or another, you're not going to end up with her for life. There is an endgame in your future. So all you need to decide is whether you will control that or not, and if you do, whether you're going to end it the easy way or the hard way.

[Jay745]

I'm sorry but she is young, immature and extremely selfish.

 

She has no respect for you, your relationship or any friendship you might have had at one point. You are absolutely right to think she is using you as a backup because she is clearly.

 

This girl is walking all over you and you have been letting her.

 

She wants the other guy but he isnt interested so she is using you as a boyfriend while she works on him. That's why she is talking to him. She is hoping he will eventually want her. She'll drop you in a heartbeat and you'll never hear from her again if he decides he wants her.

 

You are wasting your time with her. You are not her number 1 and she clearly doesn't have any respect for you or your feelings.

 

You've said your piece to her already so she is aware you aren't together. You should go complete NC from this point onwards. Block her everywhere don't allow her to try and use your emotions against you so she can keep you in reserve.

 

Have some self respect and realise she is treating you awfully and you shouldn't accept that behvaiour from her or anyone. She is using you.

 

Block her so you can no longer see her messages. Delete her from everything social media etc. Remove her from your life. Do not allow her any access to you.

 

I know this will be hard for you as you clearly have feelings for her but it's what needs to be done as she doesn't reciprocate your feelings at all.

 

I was snot expecting this at all. She was not like this when we were together. She did say that a broken heart can make people do a lot of things, so I understood, but I told her it is still not acceptable for her to play me like this. Yeah she will definitely leave me in a heartbeat even though she denies it. She is honestly kind of a gold digger. She talks about how she wants to be successful at a young age and have kids at 21 years old with this guy. She doesn't even know this guy and all they did was make out. All I know is that he is more well off than me and she talks about how he has his life together and is set for life that attracts her. Are these not gold digger symptoms? She's is always buying ridiculously expensive clothing and lives on her own in an apartment at 18 years old. Btw she moved here more me.

 

This morning she contacted me again. She left a couple texts and a phone call, but I have not opened them yet. This may sound silly, but I don't want to cut her out by blocking her everywhere because I want to keep the lines of communication open. I have respect for myself so I won't let her use my emotions against me at all this time.

[frigginlost]

 

My ex and I met face to face so I can hand her belongings back on Feb.1. She texted me before we met saying if I wanted to drink with her and I said sure. We ended up drinking, but we didn't hook up. She made it clear that she doesn't want me to touch her or anything of that sort. So i respected that and we established a friendship, although I was secretly hoping to get back together. Over the next 2 days, she hits me up everyday asking to hangout or talk to me, in a friendly manner of course.

 

 

You're entire dilemma can be summed up right there. There is actually no need to read further...

 

She is 18, and her emotions are all over the place. I would not even call her selfish at this point as it should have been a *huge* red flag to you when she stated what she did when you went out for a drink with her. You invited yourself into the friendzone (hell man, you took a rocket ship there) and she read that as "all cool" with whatever she tells you going forward. (And please remember, that this is a girl that you told that your ex gives better blow-jobs than she does. Women *never* forget...)

 

You then pulled back when you realized that what you were hearing was hurting you, and her immaturity showed itself.

 

This one I believe is dead in the water with no hopes of survival either now or in the future. This is a No Contact situation for you... forever.

 

Sorry man.

Edited February 19, 2016 by frigginlost

[Jay745]

You're entire dilemma can be summed up right there. There is actually no need to read further...

 

She is 18, and her emotions are all over the place. I would not even call her selfish at this point as it should have been a *huge* red flag to you when she stated what she did when you went out for a drink with her. You invited yourself into the friendzone (hell man, you took a rocket ship there) and she read that as "all cool" with whatever she tells you going forward. (And please remember, that this is a girl that you told that your ex gives better blow-jobs than she does. Women *never* forget...)

 

You then pulled back when you realized that what you were hearing was hurting you, and her immaturity showed itself.

 

This one I believe is dead in the water with no hopes of survival either now or in the future. This is a No Contact situation for you... forever.

 

Sorry man.

 

I did intentionally invite myself in the friend zone, but then I got myself out of it. I realized that she was CONTINUOUSLY talking to that guy when I told her not too and that's when I got myself out of it. I feel as if I should have just let her talk to that guy and acted like it doesn't bother me to show that i wasn't being insecure or jealous. I honestly believe by doing this I just might have raised my physical attractiveness in her eyes, but now I'm in a slippery situation.

I agree..she did not forget that because she was bringing that up before we broke up again. Honestly, if she can't accept then it's better this way.

 

My ex is immature indeed, but this showed just recently. Before, everything was real and she was real with me. Now she's saying how she wants kids at 21 or 23 and be well off at a very young age. It's obvious that she wants to marry this guy for his money and just live easy.

 

See at first I was told that this relationship is dead, but then we got back together and the next time we got back together, but this time everyone including myself feel as if it's dead in the water, but for some strange reason I can see this working, eventually.

People tell me to cut her off and I do. People tell me to ignore her completely and I do. I then start responding to her and then I work my way in and we get back. I do think about that it's not a good idea, but I like to think positive and hope for things to turn for the best and with some effort, they do. I just don't know a way around this one...yet. I have an idea that if i just let her talk to him and continue to let her like him, she will eventually see that i'm not phased by this at all and then her attraction will build, but I already said my peace, yet she keeps hitting me up. The guy doesn't even want her and hopefully he still won't. I don't even want to find a way around this, but man do I got the feels for her.