Murek Posted February 13, 2016 Posted February 13, 2016 Here is some back story for relevance; http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/567361-lost-my-next-step#post6755431 From this I decided to go NC. However, this ended when she called me at night (i missed the call). a day later, i shot a text to her saying "i missed your call, whats up?" funny thing is she continued to deny ever calling me. Again, back to NC. One day at work, got into an accident - posted it online to show my friends. She texts me immediately with concern etc. offers to call me. Which to this day has to be the hardest conversation I've ever had. To sum the entire thing up, things were said. Hot to Cold. She didn't fall out of love with me, Not that the spark wasn't there. She's still attracted to me, she doesn't miss me, wants excuses to talk to me, feels incredibly guilty and continued to call herself a bitch. Anyway, Through out this conversation she was having problems breathing/breathing rapidly etc. to which I had to clam her down to which her response "you shouldn't be the one to calm me down, I should do that for you" She told me about how she has been seeing a psychologist since she was in grade 6 to 12, and how she has not seen once since purely because she moved. My curious mind got to me i started asking questions. She told me its not that she doesn't feel anything for me but she doesn't feel love even for her family members, just that she cares. How it feels nice for her to focus on herself, how she's not getting any sleep. How much I have helped her. She started to feel like this again months before we broke up. She could never imagine breaking up with me, and how I'm perfect but not for her. At the end, I told her I understand, that if she needed anybody to call me and talk to me when your ready. Its all bitter sweet, to find out the one you cared for has depression and severe anxiety. There's nothing I can do but let her go, and let her heal. What kicks me the most, is how every step of the way she's tried to leave excuses to talk to me later in the future, and how she doesn't want to guarantee anything. She cried harder then I've ever heard before when I told her I understood. Truthfully, I feel crushed.
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