Author thespacey1 Posted February 27, 2016 Author Share Posted February 27, 2016 (edited) I think if your family has discussed her husbands infidelity and decided to mind their own business it is not fair to continue to discuss her life. Why do you care how his mistress is viewed? Why not care more about how your relative is viewed? Well firstly, I already know how my relative is viewed. She's viewed as being very giving and protective of her husband (amongst our family, i.e. if she feels anyone slights him,she comes out "swinging"). I don't " care" how a mistress is viewed, but i am curious about what perpetuates the epidemic. And is it that STRONG to totally negate the agreement men make with their wives. Even if wives dont know about it , its probably still going on. Ministers, businessmen, "good" men, bisexual men, etc. Say the wife is NOT cool with her husband having a side chic. Is it inevitable in this day and age that we live in? Some cultures encourage polygamy. Is that the answer to this madness? Yes, polygamy is said to help take "care" women as long as the man can equally take care of all his women. But taking "care of" can mean different things. Perhaps swinging is more realistic...? Either way, are we all unrealistic about marriage? Edited February 27, 2016 by thespacey1 Link to post Share on other sites
surferchic Posted February 27, 2016 Share Posted February 27, 2016 I think lots of people are unrealistic in their expectations and in their promises. Good points. I try not to focus much on the failed relationships. Although, I know that things happen.... Unfortunate things... Link to post Share on other sites
still_an_Angel Posted February 27, 2016 Share Posted February 27, 2016 Well firstly, I already know how my relative is viewed. She's viewed as being very giving and protective of her husband (amongst our family, i.e. if she feels anyone slights him,she comes out "swinging"). I don't " care" how a mistress is viewed, but i am curious about what perpetuates the epidemic. And is it that STRONG to totally negate the agreement men make with their wives. Even if wives dont know about it , its probably still going on. Ministers, businessmen, "good" men, bisexual men, etc. Say the wife is NOT cool with her husband having a side chic. Is it inevitable in this day and age that we live in? Some cultures encourage polygamy. Is that the answer to this madness? Yes, polygamy is said to help take "care" women as long as the man can equally take care of all his women. But taking "care of" can mean different things. Perhaps swinging is more realistic...? Either way, are we all unrealistic about marriage? Epidemic?? When is making a choice an epidemic? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
still_an_Angel Posted February 27, 2016 Share Posted February 27, 2016 Well firstly, I already know how my relative is viewed. She's viewed as being very giving and protective of her husband (amongst our family, i.e. if she feels anyone slights him,she comes out "swinging"). I don't " care" how a mistress is viewed, but i am curious about what perpetuates the epidemic. And is it that STRONG to totally negate the agreement men make with their wives. Even if wives dont know about it , its probably still going on. Ministers, businessmen, "good" men, bisexual men, etc. Say the wife is NOT cool with her husband having a side chic. Is it inevitable in this day and age that we live in? Some cultures encourage polygamy. Is that the answer to this madness? Yes, polygamy is said to help take "care" women as long as the man can equally take care of all his women. But taking "care of" can mean different things. Perhaps swinging is more realistic...? Either way, are we all unrealistic about marriage? You don't *care* how a mistress is viewed? But its the title of your thread. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thespacey1 Posted February 28, 2016 Author Share Posted February 28, 2016 You don't *care* how a mistress is viewed? But its the title of your thread. Yep it's the tile... My choice! ;-) Perhaps this thread struck a nerve with you. Do share.... And don't take the title to seriously unless you care to defend mistresses. You're more than welcome to do so. Deuces!! Link to post Share on other sites
still_an_Angel Posted February 28, 2016 Share Posted February 28, 2016 Methinks its my reply that rubbed you in the nose. Do make up your mind whether you care or not and don't contradict yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thespacey1 Posted March 10, 2016 Author Share Posted March 10, 2016 Methinks its my reply that rubbed you in the nose. Do make up your mind whether you care or not and don't contradict yourself. Hey still an angel. Haven't been on this thread in a while but wanted to respond. Of course I want to get responses/perspectives about the topic which is why I started the thread But as you can see I put "care" in quotes to emphasize that my concern isn't personal. It's really not. Ive never been a mistress,but I'm curious about how infidelity affects the constitution of marriage. If you're a Mistress or have ever been then so be it. Just curious about motivations of people ,both men and women. I welcome more feedback from those who have first hand experience. Thanks 1 Link to post Share on other sites
unevenXchange Posted March 10, 2016 Share Posted March 10, 2016 Hey still an angel. Haven't been on this thread in a while but wanted to respond. Of course I want to get responses/perspectives about the topic which is why I started the thread But as you can see I put "care" in quotes to emphasize that my concern isn't personal. It's really not. Ive never been a mistress,but I'm curious about how infidelity affects the constitution of marriage. If you're a Mistress or have ever been then so be it. Just curious about motivations of people ,both men and women. I welcome more feedback from those who have first hand experience. Thanks Well said OP . You really didn't even need to explain that,but you said it well. I think most of us are clear and cool with the title. It's your choice of what you want your title to be. I think if people choose to post, they do so because they have something to add to the discussion... They should anyway. When more people can be transparent about the topic it's always helpful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thespacey1 Posted March 10, 2016 Author Share Posted March 10, 2016 Well said OP . You really didn't even need to explain that,but you said it well. I think most of us are clear and cool with the title. It's your choice of what you want your title to be. I think if people choose to post, they do so because they have something to add to the discussion... They should anyway. When more people can be transparent about the topic it's always helpful. Thanks. And typo: should say "institution" of marriage, not constitution. Link to post Share on other sites
waterwoman Posted March 10, 2016 Share Posted March 10, 2016 It wasn't an unusual situation in the past. My great great grandmother was my great great grandfather's Parisian mistress (not as thrilling as that sounds - we have a very early photo of her and she looked like a more miserable version of Queen Vic). He already had several children with his wife and the mistress was an accepted part of the set up. The impression I have is that the family viewed her as a slightly disreputable inevitability - like a propensity to drink too much, or an over-fondness for gambling - but as long as he was discrete and did his job as a husband, father and head of the family all was well. I don't know how his wife felt about it. Maybe when marriage was seen mainly as an economic institution for the preservation of wealth and status and the procreation of children, her expectations were lower for the intimate side of their relationship. Maybe they still loved and respected each other. I suppose if you have all the trappings of wealth and status, your children around you, and the circumstances were not abnormal, it would be acceptable. But I'd put any money on her being divorced in a flash and utterly rejected by society if she did the same. Link to post Share on other sites
Selvestor Posted April 1, 2016 Share Posted April 1, 2016 Hmmm some woman just dont want to see what is going on, I guess they afraid to destroy family and afraid of lonleness...so prefer to be victims. Not so good role ofcourse but this is her life and she can make her own choice Link to post Share on other sites
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