Confirming dates and insecurities

[brokengirl85]

Ok. Done with my date.

Gezz. I don't think I'll hear from him again, because he just wanted sex. Half an hour after we met he just wanted me to go to his home. I said no. And everything went downwards.

 

Gezz he was really attractive and all, great chat and everything, but I think he was expecting me to sleep with him today. I may have written the word [easy] in my face.

 

I don't think I'll ever heard from him again.

Edited February 8, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[d0nnivain]

After all that I'm sad for you that it wasn't a positive experience.

 

 

Better luck next time.

[brokengirl85]

It's my fault. I'm always looking for these type of guys. If you remember, I've fad two previous experiences before this one:

1. A doctor I met only once but was a [jerk]

2. Another doctor who took me in three lovely dates and started to fade away after I didn't have sex with him on a third date.

 

And 3. This guy.

 

They're all the same.

 

 

He just texted me though, he enjoyed our date and I replied: "thank you" because, honestly, I did not enjoy him pushing me to go to his home.

Edited February 8, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[SwordofFlame]

Just curious, you seem to be into doctors, do you also work in the medical field as well?

Edited February 8, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[brokengirl85]

Just curious, you seem to be into doctors, do you also work in the medical field as well?

 

No, it was totally random. None of them had stated in their profiles they were doctors, they told me so during the first date.

This last guy was not a doctor though. But he had an important position as well.

 

My mistake to always play way out of my league. I'll be fine.

[Qboro90]

It's my fault. I'm always looking for these type of guys. If you remember, I've fad two previous experiences before this one:

1. A doctor I met only once but was a [jerk]

2. Another doctor who took me in three lovely dates and started to fade away after I didn't have sex with him on a third date.

 

And 3. This guy.

 

They're all the same.

 

 

He just texted me though, he enjoyed our date and I replied: "thank you" because, honestly, I did not enjoy him pushing me to go to his home.

 

 

Sooo do you think it's ok for me to say "I told you so"?

 

When are you going to start learning from your experiences? You should know that any guy who is basically a complete stranger, asking you to "come hang out" the 1st time you have a conversation with him on a dating site or anywhere for that matter... Is strictly looking for sex. I mean it doesn't get much more simple and transparent than that.

 

You keep saying that you go after guys who are "out of your league". Sounds like you just find someone attractive and then commit all your hopes into them as your next potential love.

 

Its repeatedly been told to you that while it's on to be interested in someone and find them attractive... You should be extremely skeptical and close guarded of your feelings during the early stages of dating.

 

If a guy can just hit you up at the last minute on a weekend to confirm getting together, and you jump at the offer, he's never going to respect you.

 

You literally waited hour by hour for this guy who you had 1 brief conversation with, to dictate what you would be doing with your day/night. Why would you do that?

Edited February 8, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[frus69]

No, it was totally random. None of them had stated in their profiles they were doctors, they told me so during the first date.

This last guy was not a doctor though. But he had an important position as well.

 

My mistake to always play way out of my league. I'll be fine.

 

well if they were way out of your league they wouldnt be wanting to have sex with you?

[Littlestick]

Ok. Done with my date.

Gezz. I don't think I'll hear from him again, because he just wanted sex. Half an hour after we met he just wanted me to go to his home. I said no. And everything went downwards.

 

Gezz he was really attractive and all, great chat and everything, but I think he was expecting me to sleep with him today. I may have written the word [easy] in my face.

 

I don't think I'll ever heard from him again.

 

Hi babe! Sorry for your bad experience. Actually yours sounded a little like mine....could it be the same guy!? What industry is the guy working in if i may ask?

Edited February 8, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[brokengirl85]

well if they were way out of your league they wouldnt be wanting to have sex with you?

 

When a guy wants sex, they usually play down their league because otherwise they'll have to work more.

I think I'm hitting on guys who are more attractive than I am because most don't even reply when I initiate. Only the guys who aren't that attractive reply to me.

That's the case of those three guys I briefly dated, they replied to my nessages but it didn't last, I think because they realized I was not that hot.

[brokengirl85]

Hi babe! Sorry for your bad experience. Actually yours sounded a little like mine....could it be the same guy!? What industry is the guy working in if i may ask?

 

I think it's more common to find guys like these that one realizes... I'm sorry about your bad experience

[Littlestick]

is he working in the finance industry?

[brokengirl85]

is he working in the finance industry?

 

I don't actually remember what he said about that. Looks like you're really interested to know more details, and I'm wondering why is that.

This is a public forum, you actually have no idea where do I live, and you're just assuming we met the same guy. How awkward is that?

[Littlestick]

Hey! so sorry if i offended you by asking you about his details. the reason is because i am still currently dating this guy....and everything you said about him sounds very much similar to how it was at our first date. you are right that i have no idea where you're living at, i sort of just assumed we are located in the same area as our experience feels too similar.. cheers! have a great day/night

[brokengirl85]

Hey! so sorry if i offended you by asking you about his details. the reason is because i am still currently dating this guy....and everything you said about him sounds very much similar to how it was at our first date. you are right that i have no idea where you're living at, i sort of just assumed we are located in the same area as our experience feels too similar.. cheers! have a great day/night

 

No, you've not offended me, but I prefer not to disclose more of his info, just to show him respect and because I don't think it's appropriate.

I'm here to get help with my disastrous love life, not for other reason.

 

If you have any doubt about your guy, and you think you don't trust him, you better move on from him.

I've been in a toxic relationship with a guy who lied to me, blatantly, and I decided to ignore all the red flags until I was too broken and extremely depressed.

[Gaeta]

Brokengirl: I am very sorry you got disappointed on this one too.

 

These are all events that will help you filter better your next prospects.

 

At first I was like you I would still go on a dates with men that seemed sneaky, then I stopped. At the moment that man tried to get you out of your home at 10 pm for a first meeting you should have dumped him right then and there and said something like: I am sorry, if you think it's ok to require a woman to leave the safety of her home at 10 pm to meet a stranger from the Internet then you are definitely not the type of man I am looking for. And block.

 

Between you and I, what do you think he would have told his sister if some stranger wanted her to leave her home at 10 pm?

[brokengirl85]

Brokengirl: I am very sorry you got disappointed on this one too.

 

These are all events that will help you filter better your next prospects.

 

At first I was like you I would still go on a dates with men that seemed sneaky, then I stopped. At the moment that man tried to get you out of your home at 10 pm for a first meeting you should have dumped him right then and there and said something like: I am sorry, if you think it's ok to require a woman to leave the safety of her home at 10 pm to meet a stranger from the Internet then you are definitely not the type of man I am looking for. And block.

 

Between you and I, what do you think he would have told his sister if some stranger wanted her to leave her home at 10 pm?

 

 

Gaeta, I'm getting better at filtering. All these experiences had thicken my skin a little. In the past, I'd have had sex or run to a man in the middle of the night (this one actually happened, more than once, with other guy from my past).

I have more respect for myself now, and I grew skeptic of guys as well.

Or maybe it's that I'm older, and tired, and lazy I don't know.

I want to do what I want to do, and going to his home and having sex on a Sunday night didn't appeal me at the time. Besides, gezz he has to earn it! I'm not that easy. The poor doctor had to spend some money inviting me to three different restaurants and I still did not have sex with him because I didn't trust him.

I didn't trust this guy either last night. You know what he said after I said "no" to go to his home? He said I was really special because he always get bored on dates by that time.

I was speechless.

[brokengirl85]

Im gonna need your advice guys. He just texted me he wants to see me again tonight or tomorrow. I haven't replied yet.

[frus69]

He either isn't actually just after sex or he is asking you out because he hasn't got sex from you yet.

Why are you so sure he is only after sex though?

I read you said everything went downwards after you rejected him. How downwards?

Any chance he may have changed his opinion and is willing to get to know you more now?

Edited February 8, 2016 by frus69

[brokengirl85]

He either isn't actually just after sex or he is asking you out because he hasn't got sex from you yet.

Why are you so sure he is only after sex though?

I read you said everything went downwards after you rejected him. How downwards?

Any chance he may have changed his opinion and is willing to get to know you more now?

 

I'm actually clueless. I replied to his text and he wanted to have lunch tomorrow, so apparently it's not a sex date. I replied to him I'll confirm him tomorrow because I might not be able to make it.

Maybe he thinks he can take me to have lunch and after that have sex??

 

I meant the conversation went a little dry last night after the sex offering but maybe it was actually my impression or that I went dry, not him.

 

My guess is he just wants to finish what he started last night, but I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and, if I'm able to, meet him tomorrow for a second time.

[Gaeta]

but I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and, if I'm able to, meet him tomorrow for a second time.

 

Brokengirl: then you will wonder why you never meet a good genuine man.

 

It's not because a man is offering a lunch that he's not a player. I know player that have taken me on 3-4 dates. It's a challenge to them.

 

There are red flags coming out of all this man's orifices.

[carhill]

There are red flags coming out of all this man's orifices.

 

 

Concur!

 

And I'm a man the last time I checked. However, I need to get a case of what these guys are drinking because, darn, they're good.

[SwordofFlame]

I'm actually clueless. I replied to his text and he wanted to have lunch tomorrow, so apparently it's not a sex date. I replied to him I'll confirm him tomorrow because I might not be able to make it.

Maybe he thinks he can take me to have lunch and after that have sex??

 

I meant the conversation went a little dry last night after the sex offering but maybe it was actually my impression or that I went dry, not him.

 

My guess is he just wants to finish what he started last night, but I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and, if I'm able to, meet him tomorrow for a second time.

 

Well if he's following the three date rule. He's 0 for 1 so far.

[dispatch3d]

If I were you I'd go and see if you click. First and second impression weren't so great but maybe he'll improve?

[brokengirl85]

I have a radar for players.

Not one single guy I've dated for the last year hasn't been one.

[frus69]

Well I would give him three dates no sex and see what happens because what's the harm? And if it doesn't work out so be it.

I don't think you will get invested and hurt after three sexless dates right? You already pretty much projecting the worst, that he's using you and way out of your league , it can't possibly get worse than this.

 

Just my opinion though. Most people here will tell you to drop him.