Author brokengirl85 Posted February 7, 2016 Author Posted February 7, 2016 I would say in the morning or early afternoon. So like 11am to 3pm. If it's get to be 5pm and you hear nothing I would focus on something else. Alright. I'll wait until 5 pm. Thank you!
Gershwin Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 I would not freak out & worry now. Everything he did seems fairly standard. And it can be smart not to exchange numbers prior to meeting, especially if he's been doing OLD for a while. If he was just looking for ONS that Thursday, he'd have moved on when you refused. Gluck, hope you have a great first date!
Popsicle Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 Can't believe I'm the only one to say this, but perhaps he's cautious to give out his number and would rather meet you face to face first to a) see if you look like your pics/are real, and b) see if he feels chemistry with you. 1
Qboro90 Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 Alright. I'll wait until 5 pm. Thank you! Is this serious? You'll let him hit you up last minute and still go meet him? That's not setting a good precedent if things go forward. He'll know that he doesn't have to give you much effort or time and you will still be available and not doing anything. That's a mistake you made in your past so try not to repeat it here. And what did your first time talking on the site include that made you ok with meeting him so quickly? Was it just a physical attraction that you felt and when he messaged you back saying something like "thanks you're beautiful too... I see that we live near each other... Wanna come hang out right now?" That convinced you? Because that wouldn't be smart. It's also bizarre that you didn't think to ask this guy his name, nor he ask yours... Yet both of you didn't mind that pretty major detail of getting to know someone. It's usually good to know their name. If someone doesn't care enough to ask you that, then I highly doubt they are looking for anything other than a casual, physical encounter. What makes you think otherwise with this guy? Take this opportunity to reflect on the decisions you've made in the past that led to meeting the wrong guys and consciously think about that now in order to establish standards with the guys you interact with, as well as not being so attainable immediately. From a guys perspective... If a girl messaged me on an OLD site or anywhere for that matter... Said something to initiate the convo... Then after I make small talk for a few messages and ask her if she wants to come over and chill, says no, but follows up by agreeing to meet Sunday... Without asking me my name, or telling me hers... I'd think she was easy and has nothing else to do on Super Bowl Sunday. Did you realize that when he asked? Any guy who has nothing to do and no one to hang out with on Super Bowl Sunday... At the start of game time... Doesn't sound normal to me.
Popsicle Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 (edited) Lol when I did OLD I always found it odd when they'd ask to meet without even wanting to know my name. It's like they forgot this simple normal thing. It's a red flag indicator of "The OLD jitters" . They've dealt with enough crazy stuff online that they just want to hurry up and figure out if your real. While I understand this and can't blame them, it is awfully unromantic and didnt make me feel like I wanted to cozy up to them. Quite the opposite. Edited February 7, 2016 by Popsicle
Natalie8 Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 Did you realize that when he asked? Any guy who has nothing to do and no one to hang out with on Super Bowl Sunday... At the start of game time... Doesn't sound normal to me. Im not in the US and dont know what sport superbowl is (im guessing baseball) but is it not possible that not everyone is into that sport? Why is that abnormal? Anyways, so, OP, any update? 1
Author brokengirl85 Posted February 7, 2016 Author Posted February 7, 2016 In not a fan of the superball. i don't think is that weird, not everyone is into sports! I have no updates, unfortunately. I've changed my profile picture in the dating site, and he took a peak but other than that...nada!
MissBee Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 Hello all! I was messaging yesterday night with someone I like for the fist time. I initiated the chat, btw, because I liked his pictures and his profile. He asked me to meet on Sunday, this Sunday, and we set place and time. Given the fact we didn't even trade names or phone numbers, I messaged him again today something like this: "Hello! My cell phone number is xxx-xxxx. Please text me prior so I know we're still up for Sunday. Cheers! BrokenGirl (My real name here) Do you think I sounded too desperate? Ah no, it is reasonable. Although, I'm confused about how you planned to meet without even knowing each other's names or numbers. But, I talk to most everyone on the phone first before I meet them. The is this or that desperate, needy or insecure question really irks me, as it seems so many people are scared that perfectly normal, reasonable and polite things will come off that way. It's been freeing to learn that asking for what I want and need is the best way to operate to avoid confusion, and certainly, something as common sense as exchanging names and numbers and confirming a date isn't desperate, it's perfectly sensible. Would you rather just show up looking for some guy who may or may not show and who you have no contact info or name for...it's not smart. Your msg was perfectly reasonable and desperation is unrelated to it.
MissBee Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 He actually wanted to meet that same day, but I kindly refused because it was a Thursday at 10 pm. We live extremely close to each other, maybe 5 minutes apart. This is a bad sign generally. Most men trying to meet you for the first time, after 10pm, without even knowing your name or number...he's the one sounding desperate for a hook-up. I only read your initial post, but after reading further details, where he continued messaging you on the site and didn't even share his info and says he's traveling, it sounds a bit suspicious. I also like organized men personally, so early signs of being flaky, or uncoordinated turn me off. Men I prefer to date give exact, dates, times, their number, name, and confirm things and I don't have to sit around guessing or waiting.
Maggie4 Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 Can't believe I'm the only one to say this, but perhaps he's cautious to give out his number and would rather meet you face to face first to a) see if you look like your pics/are real, and b) see if he feels chemistry with you. I guess you didn't read the other posts. That's what everyone has been saying. I suggested that she let him know that msg on dating site to confirm date is ok too.
Wewon Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 Im not in the US and dont know what sport superbowl is (im guessing baseball) but is it not possible that not everyone is into that sport? Why is that abnormal? Anyways, so, OP, any update? That's the nature of a lot of people's thinking on the boards, don't judge by direct evidence, but indirect implications.
Author brokengirl85 Posted February 7, 2016 Author Posted February 7, 2016 Still no news. Is 11 am here so I might still have chances but I'm not expecting him to contact me. It's kind of a fun game to wait and see how this develops but I have to admit I'm a little sad. And not because this one guy, it's been a series of situations in which I hope too much from the wrong type of guys, or I get just too excited to later suffer rejection. Every time I initiate with a guy I feel attracted to online, he either doesn't answer, or doesn't show interest, or just wants to use me for sex, or whatever. Tired now.
dispatch3d Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 I've had girls do this type of thing and cancel last minute when I went to confirm. Maybe I was confirming too late and that's the problem I don't know. Still I disagree with people and say don't do this. If he sets a date and time to go out assume he's going to show up prepared and ready for a date. If he doesn't make it then he's not really worth your time. Don't do this text and confirm thing it's just adding an extra hurdle that shouldn't be there in the first place.
dispatch3d Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 You want her to go to a place and meet someone and nothing was confirmed? Who does that? I don't understand what you gain from this confirmation. If he cancels today I'd probably call it quits, hell I wouldn't be too impressed with him cancelling at all. And if he shows up it was really unnecessary. If your fear is going and he doesn't show up just buy a beer drink it think about how much of a dick he is then leave. It's not that big a deal.
Author brokengirl85 Posted February 7, 2016 Author Posted February 7, 2016 I don't understand what you gain from this confirmation. If he cancels today I'd probably call it quits, hell I wouldn't be too impressed with him cancelling at all. And if he shows up it was really unnecessary. If your fear is going and he doesn't show up just buy a beer drink it think about how much of a dick he is then leave. It's not that big a deal. Think of this and try to reply again : I contacted through okcupid last thursday. It was ME initiating. He proposed to meet that same night (10 pm) or sunday or tuesday at a wine bar close to us and he added: "I love a good adventure" I said no, it was too late, but sunday evening sounded good and I added: how about 7 pm? He replied yes and that was all Next day I sent him a message with my phone number, my name and a desire to be contacted prior sunday, so I'll know we're still up. He replied yes, he'll do that but he was traveling at the moment. After that nothing. I'd never go to a date without a confirmation, especially when I don't know the guy at all. He's a perfect stranger to me, I have no idea what he does or even his phone number or his email. Nothing What I do know is that there's another guy with his same user name located in the same town, same age, and same picture in a sugardaddy dating site. And it says he's looking for fun. He does say he's single but he adds: Who cares if I'm single or not? in his profile. I googled his okcupid username, that's it.
dispatch3d Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 It's making sure you are not stood up after going out of your way to get dress and travel to meet someone. She doesn't have to send a text saying, "are we still meeting?" She can send something like, "looking forward to seeing you this evening" Now if she doesn't get a reply to that then she should not be going anywhere. I'd prefer the first message of are we still meeting than the second. Although I get why you chose the second - its less forward and lets you save face more. Fair enough that girls have to prepare more. If your travelling an hour to meet this guy then yeah I'd want to confirm. If its 5 minutes away its really no harm no foul. And if it takes you a couple hours to prepare I'd suggest trimming that time down - way too much effort to put into a guy you barely know. I still disagree with confirming - assuming you aren't travelling more than 30 minutes - be confident **** will happen, and if it doesn't its his bad not yours.
Author brokengirl85 Posted February 7, 2016 Author Posted February 7, 2016 Sorry, I said "he does say he's single" but I wanted to write "HE DOES NOT SAY HE"S SINGLE"
dispatch3d Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 Think of this and try to reply again : I contacted through okcupid last thursday. It was ME initiating. He proposed to meet that same night (10 pm) or sunday or tuesday at a wine bar close to us and he added: "I love a good adventure" I said no, it was too late, but sunday evening sounded good and I added: how about 7 pm? He replied yes and that was all Next day I sent him a message with my phone number, my name and a desire to be contacted prior sunday, so I'll know we're still up. He replied yes, he'll do that but he was traveling at the moment. After that nothing. I'd never go to a date without a confirmation, especially when I don't know the guy at all. He's a perfect stranger to me, I have no idea what he does or even his phone number or his email. Nothing What I do know is that there's another guy with his same user name located in the same town, same age, and same picture in a sugardaddy dating site. And it says he's looking for fun. He does say he's single but he adds: Who cares if I'm single or not? in his profile. I googled his okcupid username, that's it. What the **** is the up for adventure thing, not to mention the sluething you did doesn't look too good on his character. That said sending him an "are we still on for tonight" doesn't seem bad, although I guess if you don't have any contact information then there's not much you can do. I get more where you are coming from after the details of the exchange. A simple yes that time is good needs a longer reply, and he should have just confirmed the time is good when he replied rather than saying "oh I'm travelling". Bad game on his part.
Author brokengirl85 Posted February 7, 2016 Author Posted February 7, 2016 What the **** is the up for adventure thing, not to mention the sluething you did doesn't look too good on his character. That said sending him an "are we still on for tonight" doesn't seem bad, although I guess if you don't have any contact information then there's not much you can do. I get more where you are coming from after the details of the exchange. A simple yes that time is good needs a longer reply, and he should have just confirmed the time is good when he replied rather than saying "oh I'm travelling". Bad game on his part. He's just not interested. that's all. No one to blame, it was me who looked for him. It happens. Nah, not messaging him anymore. I'm actually logged off the dating site for today. If he wants to meet me, he just have to confirm our date. I don't think that's too difficult
dispatch3d Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 I'd assume you're good interest wise. Pardon my french - if you weren't hot enough he wouldn't have replied to your message, and he certainly wouldnt have agreed to meet with you. From internet dating he doesn't have much more to go on than looks, so I wouldn't base your actions on him not being interested.
Author brokengirl85 Posted February 7, 2016 Author Posted February 7, 2016 I'd assume you're good interest wise. Pardon my french - if you weren't hot enough he wouldn't have replied to your message, and he certainly wouldnt have agreed to meet with you. From internet dating he doesn't have much more to go on than looks, so I wouldn't base your actions on him not being interested. I think he's just not interested ENOUGH to go meet me at a wine bar tonight. I thought I was hot but my last experiences had proven the contrary. I tend to play out of my league, and there are lots of options for handsome and interesting guys out there. I'd say I'm OK...for a guy to have an adventure with me, for one night stands etc. Im not girlfriend material, unfortunately.
dispatch3d Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 I think he's just not interested ENOUGH to go meet me at a wine bar tonight. I thought I was hot but my last experiences had proven the contrary. I tend to play out of my league, and there are lots of options for handsome and interesting guys out there. I'd say I'm OK...for a guy to have an adventure with me, for one night stands etc. Im not girlfriend material, unfortunately. kinda repeating myself, but he's definitely interested. The difference between one night stands and girlfriends isn't a looks thing for me at least - and I'd assume most guys. Don't base your evaluation of yourself on one guy that things didn't work out with, lots of reasons for things not working out. I did notice a big difference between asking a girl out and asking for her number, so I don't think your alone in your thinking.
Author brokengirl85 Posted February 7, 2016 Author Posted February 7, 2016 It's 1:30 pm. No news :/ He still has three more hours to text me but honestly, I've lost mostly all the excitement.
Author brokengirl85 Posted February 7, 2016 Author Posted February 7, 2016 I used to plan first meets at one of my favorite places so just in case I was stood up I could still get dinner and go home lol Wow such a great idea!! With a previous guy I did that. He made reservations at a French place I always wanted to go. I thought if he didn't show up, I could completely had diner by myself. He showed up though. I think this time I'll stay home. I have lots of things to do.
Author brokengirl85 Posted February 7, 2016 Author Posted February 7, 2016 Guys, I just got a text. It says: "it's xxx, from okcupid. Confirming for 7 pm" 2
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