SammySammy Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 I was an OM. The WS lied to both me and her husband. I don't think she lied about him. He's a good man. Just not good in bed. But, she definitely lied, manipulated and was vindictive to both of us. That's why tomorrow will mark one complete year of strict no contact from me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Furious Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 (edited) Didn't want to derail a thread, so I'll ask the question here. Did your ws, to your knowledge, every tell the ow or om lies about you, if so, why? I don't think mine did. I found emails between the two of them, and it was the opposite. He actually defended me when she tried to insult me. I don't understand the paradox of the situation, and don;t think I ever will. Mid you, he was dealing with combat related ptsd at the time, but even so, it just never realy made sense to me. She is a serial ow, who enjoys the sense of power that comes from, at least in her mind, "seducing" someone else's spouse and sticking it to their wives. Even long after each A is over, she can't seem to stop. I don't understand how that can be a good feeling, but then again, I don't really understand anything about her thought processes. I think when dealing with a serial ow/om, or a serial wayward spouse there is no point in trying to understand or parse through the lies or the truth in that kind of dynamic. I do believe that the majority of affairs in general are a mix of half lies and half truths that are common in the affair dynamic. The thing with affairs, it's a complex dynamic between who they really are and who they wish to be. The futility of an affair is that it is secret and that is a major objective. Of course in order to cheat one must lie about their whereabouts, must lie in order to conduct an affair, it's not farfetched that in order to be a WS or an affair partner lying is essential. The horrible thing is that in a triangulated relationship the unknowing betrayed spouse has no say or power to dispel lies, no power to defend themselves. It's a three way relationship where the betrayed spouse is in a way muzzled and blindfolded in regard to their reality and the cruel realty is that it is what the WS and affair partner both conspire to keep the betrayed spouse in the dark. The irony, is that when an affair is discovered, the lies are brought into daylight, the affair partners are faced with dissecting whether they were true to each other. Often, that's the dilemma when the secrecy is over. Edited February 19, 2016 by Furious 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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