Relationship of 3 years...3 months not seen her

[JustAnotherLostLove]

Listen closely, you are literally going through the same thing I did. And for myself, it's been 7 months now. We were also together for 3 years. Allow me to break down what some of this stuff means.

 

She fell out of love = You guys lost the magic/spark etc.

 

I need to find myself = I need to find someone else.

 

Maybe we'll have a chance in the future = I don't want to hurt you more than I have to right now.

 

Her texting you on birthdays/holidays and whatever else, is basically her slowly letting go of you. Starting right about now, is most likely when you'll no longer hear from her anymore.

 

I have never related to a post, as much as I relate to yours. Literally, everything rang true. I also have a career that I fought for my whole life, and she too also works in retail management. Your whole experience is mirroring mine. Only I'm 4 months into your future. And I hate to say it, but it's over. You need to give up hope, and begin the dreadful process of moving on. It'll be the worst pain of your life, for probably about 6 months. Find a new hobby, and ****ing BURRY yourself in it. And more importantly, erase her.

 

Best of luck. I feel your pain.

[JustAnotherLostLove]

"Of course I'm afraid I'll never meet someone like her again"

 

I was afraid of this too. But then I realized, I'm not suppose to meet someone like her again. Jeez, still hurts to even type that..

[Moving punch]

Thanks for the replies

 

I guess the best thing to do is just leave it then. I just feel rude if I don't.

 

A this stuff I obviously don't want to hear. But I suppose it's what I've got to "deal with".

[Weathersf1]

Man, what is it about the 3 year mark? I read it over and over again. My ex dropped me after 3 years 1 month as well. She just woke up one day and tells me we should go our separate ways. Thanks me for all I did and wish me luck and just like that, POOF. Went away, never to return.

 

I have been total NC. Its rough and I'm still having a real hard time accepting reality. They tell me its get easier and I hope so. This is the most depressed I have ever felt in my life and apparently thats normal as well.

 

Hang in there. Sit tight and wait for the storm to pass. We'll make it through.

[Moving punch]

I kniw the 3 year mark does seem to come up, I know two other lads my age with the same mark.

 

I'm sorry to say I still went ahead and texted her.

 

This is her reply Hey, thank you. It's been a nice day, it's been nice just being off work. Hope you're doing okay.

 

Any thoughts on a reply I have one, but should I even bother. Like I said I expect nothing to come of it and by the end of the week I expect to be in no contact whatsoever.

[LD1990]

There's no need to reply. You wished her happy birthday, she gave you the kind of polite thank you message she'd probably send to an acquaintance.

 

Don't wait until the end of the week to start no contact. You're holding out hope for something that isn't gonna happen. It sucks right now,but she just doesn't want to be with you. The sooner you fully accept that the better. If she wanted anything with you she would have opened up more in her response.

[Moving punch]

I kniw the 3 year mark does seem to come up, I know two other lads my age with the same mark.

 

I'm sorry to say I still went ahead and texted her.

 

This is her reply Hey, thank you. It's been a nice day, it's been nice just being off work. Hope you're doing okay.

 

Any thoughts on a reply I have one, but should I even bother. Like I said I expect nothing to come of it and by the end of the week I expect to be in no contact whatsoever.

 

Yeah I know what your saying matey. Exactly my thoughts on the message, I'm nit holding out for something more I'm starting to find more in my life than her and I'm getting in with the fact that she is no longer in it. There's still a tiny bit that would want her back and I'll probably always be that way until I find someone else. But I'm come to the stage where I know that having a new relationship with her probably isn't gonna happen.

 

I'm gonna reply and if she doesn't reply I'm okay with that.

[Weathersf1]

 

I'm gonna reply and if she doesn't reply I'm okay with that.

 

Bad move bro, Just leave it alone. I know its a real tough pill to swallow but you gotta do it. Each time, it takes away a little part of your soul. I know I just couldn't handle it and thats the only thing that terrified me enough to keep NC.

 

You and I both know that deep down, its not OK if she doesn't reply. Maybe consciously you tell that to yourself but unconsciously, it kills you. I would keep away and accept it as fate. There really is no other choice.

[gimlynick]

wow guys... This sounds so familiar :/

 

I feel happy that I am not the only person in the world who has to go through this... And after all this is just a break up. 2 persons who still live but have another life not with eachother. Daily happy families get destroyed by war/religion/money/growing old/...

This is only a break up, and both parties will probably one day find peace.

 

 

I keep saying this kind of stuff to myself.

 

Don't text her anymore.

 

I was stupid to have a 'farewell date' with my ex after one month NC... Yes it was amazing, and we both felt like there was a spark again.

But one day later she seemed to be ice cold again.

 

You will heal my friend.

It will take a lot of time, but you will get better.

The other person will allways have a place in your heart, but it will not be in the center of it anymore. It will just be a reminder of a nice story of 2 young people who were not meant to be but whom had a lot of fun and amazing stories together.

 

If I'm reading through all these topics, I feel like we have to be happy that this didn't happen when having kids or being married.

 

Life goes on. It sucks. But one day we will all look back to our past relation(s) and think peacefully about it.

 

 

Go out there, do tons of sports ( it really helps for me ), see your friends, do a lil party ( don't get too drunk dough... A stupid text is send so quickly ).

 

About full NC: I've texted my ex today aswell. Maybe we can count together from tomorrow on untill day 100 of NC. I think that this kind of stuff is better to go through in a team.

 

Maybe talking about very personal stuff about the relation is kinda awkward with your friends, then try to find someone who is oversea, that you don't see yearly. Those persons can do an amazing thing for you. They will be there to read your texts, and to give an objective opinion about it.

 

 

 

Keep going strong, we'll do it!

[Moving punch]

Well I ended up texting back. A friendly text joking about something from last year and hoping she got some cake.

 

I got nothing in return this was at 9pm at night. Doubt I recieve anything today either. So NC resumes , this time I feel better. I have a lot of our stuff in a draw Un my room that's been there for 6 months. That's going in the loft this Saturday. I'm glad she hasn't text back ad it's gave me a reason, that was the last draw the last sharade. I'm on the right pathway now, she is done in my life and my thoughts and energy are placed better elsewhere. Everything happens for a reason.

[Shiggs]

Well I ended up texting back. A friendly text joking about something from last year and hoping she got some cake.

 

I got nothing in return this was at 9pm at night. Doubt I recieve anything today either. So NC resumes , this time I feel better. I have a lot of our stuff in a draw Un my room that's been there for 6 months. That's going in the loft this Saturday. I'm glad she hasn't text back ad it's gave me a reason, that was the last draw the last sharade. I'm on the right pathway now, she is done in my life and my thoughts and energy are placed better elsewhere. Everything happens for a reason.

 

You know.. When you wrote that you have to think of her as someone that's dead and not in your life anymore, it really helped me with my process. My situation mirrors yours to the bone and she said exactly those things to me when she broke up. Exactly the same as grieving a family member that you loved and lost. You'll always have the previous cherished memories of them but there's nothing you can do about it anymore. There were the good and the bad times, but they're not in your life anymore. This is final and you will move on with time.

 

I've been NC 3 months now after my ex of 3 years, and while I think about her sometimes, I am better off overall now where I can just worry about myself 100%.

 

As far as texting her goes, please don't continue to text her back. They're just breadcrumbs and I know you're hoping for some sort of response back, but it's only going to hurt you in the end. It will give you hope that "maybe if I continue texting her, she'll want me back," but she's already checked out first. She broke up with you. You don't owe her anything anymore. I haven't had the urge to text my ex because I know that nothing will happen even if I do. She wont magically want me back and I'll just open old wounds. To be honest, even if she did want me back, I probably wouldn't take her back. It wouldn't feel right and I wouldn't want to be with someone that broke my heart like that and had to make me feel the way I did these past 3 months.

 

Good luck with NC! It's pretty hard at first, but soon the days will turn into weeks and then months. Sooner or later, you will move on to that stage of indifference and be totally fine