Jay745 Posted February 3, 2016 Posted February 3, 2016 Hey guys I'm back. For those of you that haven't seen my thread about my recent break-up, it is RIGHT HERE. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/566897-seriously-most-devastating-breakup-ever Update on breakup: It has been a week and a half since contact. She has not contacted me at all or vice versa. Her social media life is not that active and at one point she tried to make me jealous through her gay friend by posting him on her Instagram and talking smack (very lightly) about me through emojis. Obviously, I'm not jealous. Seems like she thinks I'm watching her feed lol. Anyways, my birthday is coming up next week and I'm hoping she will contact me by then. My birthday is about a week before valentines day. My question is...If she doesn't contact me on my birthday, should I attempt to do something sweet for her on valentines day (this means breaking contact)?? Also, if she does contact me on my birthday, should I continue to do something sweet for her on valentines day? Should I even do this at all? 1
Blanco Posted February 3, 2016 Posted February 3, 2016 She's now your ex. It's hard to wrap your head around this, but try to: Your birthday is just another day to her now. No, you should not take her continued silence as a sign to do something for her on a day known for romantic gestures. Also, try not to read too much into things if she does acknowledge your birthday. Most likely, it'll just be a kind gesture with no hidden meaning. In fact, you should probably hope that she doesn't say anything at all, because I can tell between this thread and your original that you won't be able to not read into her simply wishing you a happy birthday. Stay strong, friend. You're still a child in many ways. This won't be the last girl in your life. 3
Shiggs Posted February 3, 2016 Posted February 3, 2016 My birthday is coming up soon, and I don't really expect a text from my ex (we broke up 3 weeks ago). If I get one, sure I'll feel happy, but I've accepted the end of the relationship and this Happy Birthday message doesn't really mean much in the grand scheme of things. I'm moving on, and like Blanco said, she's your ex, and this is really just another day for her. 2
Author Jay745 Posted February 3, 2016 Author Posted February 3, 2016 She's now your ex. It's hard to wrap your head around this, but try to: Your birthday is just another day to her now. No, you should not take her continued silence as a sign to do something for her on a day known for romantic gestures. Also, try not to read too much into things if she does acknowledge your birthday. Most likely, it'll just be a kind gesture with no hidden meaning. In fact, you should probably hope that she doesn't say anything at all, because I can tell between this thread and your original that you won't be able to not read into her simply wishing you a happy birthday. Stay strong, friend. You're still a child in many ways. This won't be the last girl in your life. Funny thing. She just hit me up, not too long after posting this thread! She said she needs one of her belongings. We exchanged quite a few texts about how to return one her belongings and she was being unclear about it too. Anyways, I played it cool and didn't push things. She said she was driving somewhere and will talk to me later and I said to just let me know and she said ok. 1
Author Jay745 Posted February 3, 2016 Author Posted February 3, 2016 My birthday is coming up soon, and I don't really expect a text from my ex (we broke up 3 weeks ago). If I get one, sure I'll feel happy, but I've accepted the end of the relationship and this Happy Birthday message doesn't really mean much in the grand scheme of things. I'm moving on, and like Blanco said, she's your ex, and this is really just another day for her. Well said. I'm not going to think too much of it if she contacts me then or how just hit me up right now. 1
Toodaloo Posted February 3, 2016 Posted February 3, 2016 What you do about her belongings is you box them up and take them round give them to her and walk away... Done simple. What you do about your birthday is you leave your phone at home and go do something rocking with your friends and/or family and you keep yourself busy so you don't even think about her. No you should not do something cute or kind for her on V Day. You do something good for yourself and grab as many of your single friends together and go rock the town... Your single. Start thinking like a single person. 5
ExpatInItaly Posted February 3, 2016 Posted February 3, 2016 You are not her boyfriend anymore. Don't expect a birthday text. She might send you one out of courtesy, but don't read into it. And certainly don't plan something for Valentine's Day. You're not a couple and Valentine's Day is generally meant for...you know, couples. As another poster said, box up her belongings and drop them off. Or have a friend do so. You don't need to see her in person to do this. 1
d0nnivain Posted February 3, 2016 Posted February 3, 2016 You should hope she doesn't contact you on your birthday. Then maybe you will finally understand this is over. In the meantime, unfriend her on all your social media so you don't know what she's doing. Do not under any circumstances contact her for Valentine's day. No No No. Absolutely not. It will set your own healing back weeks. Instead make plans with a buddy to do something anti-romantic. Go to a sports bar or a monster truck rally. I had a great post-BU V-day once. Ate fantastic chocolate; drank good wine; played every anti-love song (especially Love Stinks) and threw darts at a picture of my EX I had taped to the middle of a dart board. It was really cathartic. I did hide my phone from myself to prevent drunk dialing. 1
Shiggs Posted February 3, 2016 Posted February 3, 2016 You should hope she doesn't contact you on your birthday. Then maybe you will finally understand this is over. In the meantime, unfriend her on all your social media so you don't know what she's doing. Do not under any circumstances contact her for Valentine's day. No No No. Absolutely not. It will set your own healing back weeks. Instead make plans with a buddy to do something anti-romantic. Go to a sports bar or a monster truck rally. I had a great post-BU V-day once. Ate fantastic chocolate; drank good wine; played every anti-love song (especially Love Stinks) and threw darts at a picture of my EX I had taped to the middle of a dart board. It was really cathartic. I did hide my phone from myself to prevent drunk dialing. Sounds like a great valentines day to me! I might have to do something similar! 1
mightycpa Posted February 3, 2016 Posted February 3, 2016 (edited) You're back again? I thought for sure you'd be banging everything that moved by now. Maybe you are the kind of guy who sits around being sad about your ex, even though you know it doesn't do you much good. Who knew? You've received a lot of good advice. Toodaloo is right. Box her ****, and get it to her right away without having to be asked again, and without any drama. A single purpose visit. D0nnivain is right too. Forget valentine's day. Instead, go have some fun that has nothing to do with that. Just about everybody has also said, in one form or another, walk away. Don't, under any circumstances, go make a fool of yourself. Walk away. It's hard to add anything to what people have already told you, but because I am a mighty cpa, I do have one additional small tip for you: Follow the good advice you've already gotten. Just do it without resistance, even if it's hard for you. It'll be good for you. Edited February 3, 2016 by mightycpa 5
Satu Posted February 3, 2016 Posted February 3, 2016 OP You are single and unattached. Structure your life around that fact. It's possible to have a really great time as a single person. Try new things, meet new people. There's nothing to stop you. 2
d0nnivain Posted February 3, 2016 Posted February 3, 2016 I'll soften it a bit. Because the BU Is relatively fresh & it's your 1st V-Day apart, if you want to hide & wallow over the holiday weekend, go ahead. Just be rarin' to go Monday morning, meaning you have to get up & go to work or school. But if you need to hibernate & ignore all the hearts & flowers no one will fault you. However you can't contact her. 3
Author Jay745 Posted February 4, 2016 Author Posted February 4, 2016 You should hope she doesn't contact you on your birthday. Then maybe you will finally understand this is over. In the meantime, unfriend her on all your social media so you don't know what she's doing. Do not under any circumstances contact her for Valentine's day. No No No. Absolutely not. It will set your own healing back weeks. Instead make plans with a buddy to do something anti-romantic. Go to a sports bar or a monster truck rally. I had a great post-BU V-day once. Ate fantastic chocolate; drank good wine; played every anti-love song (especially Love Stinks) and threw darts at a picture of my EX I had taped to the middle of a dart board. It was really cathartic. I did hide my phone from myself to prevent drunk dialing. Well, we are not friends on social media anywhere because she blocked me. As a matter of fact, she only unblocked me on the phone to send the texts, but everywhere else I am still blocked. I won't do anything for her on valentines day, unless we magically makeup.
Author Jay745 Posted February 4, 2016 Author Posted February 4, 2016 What you do about her belongings is you box them up and take them round give them to her and walk away... Done simple. What you do about your birthday is you leave your phone at home and go do something rocking with your friends and/or family and you keep yourself busy so you don't even think about her. No you should not do something cute or kind for her on V Day. You do something good for yourself and grab as many of your single friends together and go rock the town... Your single. Start thinking like a single person. It's only one belonging and it's something that I have to hand to her personally. So either she might come to my place to pick it up or I will go to her place. Either way, I'm just going to give it to her nicely and not be rude about it. If we exchange a few words then, cool. I'm not planning to get my hopes up or planning to push things further.
Author Jay745 Posted February 4, 2016 Author Posted February 4, 2016 You're back again? I thought for sure you'd be banging everything that moved by now. Maybe you are the kind of guy who sits around being sad about your ex, even though you know it doesn't do you much good. Who knew? You've received a lot of good advice. Toodaloo is right. Box her ****, and get it to her right away without having to be asked again, and without any drama. A single purpose visit. D0nnivain is right too. Forget valentine's day. Instead, go have some fun that has nothing to do with that. Just about everybody has also said, in one form or another, walk away. Don't, under any circumstances, go make a fool of yourself. Walk away. It's hard to add anything to what people have already told you, but because I am a mighty cpa, I do have one additional small tip for you: Follow the good advice you've already gotten. Just do it without resistance, even if it's hard for you. It'll be good for you. Haha, well I have went out with a couple girls that I hooked up with a while ago, but nothing sexual. I wasn't planning on doing anything with them anyways because I feel like it's to early and I wouldn't feel right doing that. Yeah i'll take the advice, but instead of walking away I'll just keep things light and go with the flow. I understand all this advice is good and that's why I signed up here.
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