Httm Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 (edited) On the contrary. OP is proof of my point. She gets messages, but felts that finding someone suitable is so difficult for her that she needed to create this thread asking for help. Yes, like I said, any woman whether she has pics or not, no matter how terrible the profile, gets carpet bombed with sexual invitations. This is not in dispute. [] She chose to create a profile that isn't honest enough to even show what she truly looks like, so yes, quality people are going to stay away. This is her choice. [] Anyone with [] some online experience wouldn't even take a second look at someone who doesn't have a full body shot. Hell, people lie even WITH pics... Taken years ago or from weird angles. It is enough of a time waster with them. To even consider someone without a real pic would be a supreme waste of time for anyone of quality. So yeah, bottom of the barrel responses should be of no surprise. Edited February 5, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Topical content Link to post Share on other sites
Httm Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 (edited) [] Both men and women have to deal with low quality. men have to work to get the low quality, while women get it for free. That is fine, but it is not a unique problem to women. It is still much easier and the OP is not legitimately putting herself out there to quality people because it makes no sense to waste time with someone who doesn't show what they truly look like. As I've said, even WITH pics, people blatantly lie, but at the minimum, they need to have pics to have even a second glance. Edited February 5, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Topical content Link to post Share on other sites
Httm Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Factual evidence is not "jaded men." Cupid on Trial: An OKCupid Online Dating Experiment "• Each woman received at least one message, but the two best looking women received 581% more messages than the other three combined. • Only one man received any messages. - See more at: http://jonmillward.com/blog/attraction-dating/cupid-on-trial-a-4-month-online-dating-experiment/#sthash.wyp9fiI6.dpuf" 4 Things I Learned from the Worst Online Dating Profile Ever | Cracked.com "I figured any profile with photos of a beautiful woman would get a few messages from men whose boners were willing to overlook her personality. The captions on her photos were just as draped in red flags as her profile was, so there's no way they were totally clueless as to how awful she is, but sure, I figured, maybe she'd get a couple of messages a day from people with especially low reading comprehension. She got 150 messages in 24 hours." Ten fake profiles, one OkCupid experiment: OkCupid On Trial | ZDNet "In seven days of being live, the profiles delivered a fuller picture of the differences between the experiences of straight women and men on the service: The most contacted woman had almost 17 times more messages in a week than the most contacted man. Three of the men had no messages, despite their profiles being viewed about 25 times between them. The women’s messages outnumbered the men’s 17 to 1 (mostly thanks to the two best looking women). The two best looking men received 5 fewer messages than the 3rd and 4th best looking women. He found that the gender-bias being in women's favor is certainly true in one respect: women do have it "easier" on OkCupid than men when it comes to attracting sheer volumes of attention." Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 (edited) ^ Not sure what you're trying to prove with all that. As we've both agreed multiple times, women get a lot of messages, most of them junk, even with bad photos and a bad profile. That is NOT in dispute! The thing I am disagreeing with you is that women have it easy on OLD. Sure they get more messages but that doesn't mean it's easier to get a date with a good match. [] Edited February 5, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Topical content Link to post Share on other sites
Httm Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 If women get more messages by an exponential factor, then by default they have it easier. Men doing more work for responses yields no higher quality. There is no evidence or reason to think otherwise. Whereas you made a generalization with no evidence, I gladly provided evidence for my assertion. Therein lies the difference. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 For God's sake give it a rest, none of this helps the OP who is NOT getting any messages from decent men, only sex pests. How can that ever be seen as "easier"? The point of OLD for most is to find a compatible mate, how can anyone do that if they are inundated with rubbish replies? It is "easier" to find a compatible mate out of 5 genuine replies from women surely, than 500 men just wanting a close up of cleavage... Link to post Share on other sites
Httm Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Remember, with online dating, you have to be willing to be a bit vulnerable. You have to tell about yourself, show what you look like, and be honest, if you want to attract the better people. Quality people look for depth and honesty. If you don't show a full body picture, it looks like you are hiding something, regardless of whether you are or not. Only the undesirables will think it is worth their time to contact you. This will feed into your guardedness. Either embrace online dating wholly or check out other avenues like speed dating. You can find speed dating on meetup.com in populated areas. Link to post Share on other sites
Httm Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 (edited) For God's sake give it a rest, none of this helps the OP who is NOT getting any messages from decent men, only sex pests. How can that ever be seen as "easier"? The point of OLD for most is to find a compatible mate, how can anyone do that if they are inundated with rubbish replies? It is "easier" to find a compatible mate out of 5 genuine replies from women surely, than 500 men just wanting a close up of cleavage... I explained why she is getting predominantly those kind of messages both earlier in the thread and my last post(after yours). For me, finding a thin to average woman is important, so I'd skip anyone with no body shots. Ive been burned too many times. It is one thing to take them on their word, but it would be foolish for me to try someone who wouldn't show a full body pic. For me, it is for aesthetics of course, but also eating habits. I want someone with healthy eating habits because i don't like being tempted all the time and I have specific dietary needs. Eating habits is important to me for dating. Body shots give a glimpse into that side of someone. I also read profiles in depth, and maybe I am not the norm, but I wanted someone serious...someone without a full body shot also shows me that they have one foot in and one foot out. Edited February 5, 2016 by Httm Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 (edited) Its been a long while since I was on OLD. However its not just guys being sexually forward or aggressive as I remember. In fact I was told if I was not pursuing sex by third date with a woman - something must be wrong or I was too old fashioned. I do agree photos - realistic ones are a must. Again as I recall some women's profiles said said "men - no recent photo - no chat" I would say however, than many men (and I guess women) may have been in a long marriage without any sexual passion for while - and so once they start dating sex is at the top of their list. Edited February 5, 2016 by dichotomy 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author spiderowl Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 Problem is I do not want and most men do not want women that wear dresses from the Couture House of Moo Moo. In short men are visual. We can like a woman as a person, but if we do not like what we see we will not want to date her. Maybe women don't want guys who have that kind of attitude. We are pretty astute at picking up on things like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author spiderowl Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 [] Both men and women have to deal with low quality. men have to work to get the low quality, while women get it for free. That is fine, but it is not a unique problem to women. It is still much easier and the OP is not legitimately putting herself out there to quality people because it makes no sense to waste time with someone who doesn't show what they truly look like. As I've said, even WITH pics, people blatantly lie, but at the minimum, they need to have pics to have even a second glance. I think you are assuming rather a lot about a woman's body if she doesn't have body shots on her profile. She may actually not want to be contacted by guys who are only attracted because of her body. She may even want an intellectual or emotional connection. I don't think 'quality' guys will be just interested in seeing body shots. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 (edited) She may actually not want to be contacted by guys who are only attracted because of her body. She may even want an intellectual or emotional connection. I don't think 'quality' guys will be just interested in seeing body shots. Note your use of the word "only" and "just" that I have highlighted above. Very few people (male or female) want to be contacted by those who are only attracted to their body. But you're viewing it in a very black and white, mutually exclusive way. Isn't it logical that many genuine, nice guys want to be attracted intellectually, emotionally and physically? You're right, quality guys will not be interested in just the body shots, but they will want to know that they are attracted physically as well as intellectually and emotionally, otherwise it's never going to turn into a relationship, and it's just a waste of time. Most decent guys (and girls) are looking for the whole package, right? Isn't this what you're looking for with OLD, or any other kind of dating, at the end of the day...? Edited February 8, 2016 by PegNosePete Link to post Share on other sites
hasaquestion Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 I think you are assuming rather a lot about a woman's body if she doesn't have body shots on her profile. She may actually not want to be contacted by guys who are only attracted because of her body. She may even want an intellectual or emotional connection. I don't think 'quality' guys will be just interested in seeing body shots. Why should a "quality guy" play Russian Roulette, and go on a date with someone whose appearance they have no idea about? Does a blind date sound appealing to you? Look, most men who do the dating app thing have been burned by a profile with nothing but face pictures. I know I have. My best friend told me a similar story recently on the phone. You say that people are assuming a lot about a woman's body if she does not have a picture of it. But don't blame us - blame the women who have set a precedent of that being a reasonable assumption, by going out with us and looking different than we expected! It seems like you want to deter the 'bad guys', and you figure that withholding pictures of your body is going to accomplish that. I understand that motivation, I really do. But if your way of doing it is no body pictures I think you're cutting off your nose to spite your face. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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