Aisling.25 Posted January 18, 2016 Posted January 18, 2016 Unhappy Just broke up with my friends with benefits, I don't know if I've done the right Tbh I didn't even know we were friends with benefits. we've only been seeing each other 3 weeks and I honestly had no idea it was only that till I counted the days. So this is why I think I've might of made a mistake. So Atm I'm very confused so I need some help. I asked him were we like Fwb, He told me that he doesn't want a relationship anytime soon. So I said that while I don't jump into relationships I don't do the Fwb thing either. I just told him I don't want to be one of many girls. And that he's a bigger player than I thought, And that its best if we don't see each other again. He told me that it was a pity with loads of sad faces and that he's sorry that he can't give me what I want and that he is definitely not a player. I replied having a f*ck buddy makes u a player, that u keep ur options open so you can sleep with whoever u like. He said that's not what his about and that he really didn't only want me for sex. This is were I started to get confused. Because he never did actually behave like a friend with benefits. Most days he would spend hours just cuddling with me So I honestly didn't know where I stood because he wouldn't talk about it in person only over text for the first time tonight, Have I done the right thing or acted to quickly ? Because I think if I set down and counted that we'd only been seeing each other 3 weeks I probably don't think I've of done it. It was just that I liked him i suppose.
266696687 Posted January 18, 2016 Posted January 18, 2016 (edited) Yep you did the right thing 100%. He told you he isn't looking for a relationship anytime soon. Believe him. The rest of the stuff he said to you is purely to confuse you and future fake I.e make you believe there is hope for a relationship in the future. (telling you you are more than just sex is the perfect example of this but don't be fooled). This is so he can keep seeing you for unattached sex. You can waste years of your life with a man like that. The truth is he has no intention of being in a relationship with you that's why he said he isn't looking for a relationship. He has made his intentions clear. When he finds a woman he wants to commit to he will ditch you and make a life with her and you'll be left wondering what went wrong. When that happens he will tell you that you knew what this was from the beginning because he told you he wasn't looking for a relationship anytime soon and he will absolve himself from any hurt he causes you because you chose to continue with him knowing it wasn't a relationship. Trust on me on this save yourself the time and heartache and let him go. Do not let him use you for sex until he finds someone he wants to commit to. He knows what he wants and it isn't you. For whatever reason he has decided already that you are not the person he wants to be with long term but he'd happily sleep with you until he finds the right one. YOU deserve better. You are worthy of being treated better than that. Don't let him lower your expectations of what you want. Cut him off. Block and delete him. Do not let him have you while he keeps his options open only you stand to get hurt here. I think things moved pretty fast 3 weeks really isn't long enough to know someone. Learn from this and take things a bit slower next time. Give yourself the time to get to know if your on the same page with the next guy. Cheer yourself up. Go and see some friends or family or make some new ones. Join a club just do whatever YOU need to keep away from this guy because he will use you given the opportunity. Edited January 18, 2016 by 266696687 1
PegNosePete Posted January 18, 2016 Posted January 18, 2016 He told me that he doesn't want a relationship anytime soon. He said that's not what his about and that he really didn't only want me for sex. So when you "dumped" him, he tried to back-pedal. He's just saying whatever it takes to get more sex. If you want more than FWB then you have absolutely done the right thing. 4
qofplenty Posted January 18, 2016 Posted January 18, 2016 you did the right thing. keep moving forward.
rester Posted January 18, 2016 Posted January 18, 2016 I'm assuming it was this guy: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/565290-he-told-me-s-none-my-business-if-he-speaks-other-women Yes, you did the right thing. 1
VeveCakes Posted January 18, 2016 Posted January 18, 2016 Yes, he is stringing you along for sex and companionship. He isn't there for you. Time to move on.
Itspointless Posted January 18, 2016 Posted January 18, 2016 He told me that it was a pity with loads of sad faces and that he's sorry that he can't give me what I want and that he is definitely not a player. I replied having a f*ck buddy makes u a player, that u keep ur options open so you can sleep with whoever u like. He said that's not what his about and that he really didn't only want me for sex. Pfff, sometimes I wish I was a guy like this, but in all honesty I never felt tempted to do so as it never felt like me. What annoys me though is that it are guys like this that makes women distrust me (and other men). So, yeah you definitely did the right thing. PegNosePete gave you the translation of his script.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 18, 2016 Posted January 18, 2016 I'm assuming it was this guy: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/565290-he-told-me-s-none-my-business-if-he-speaks-other-women Yes, you did the right thing. Good point. Is it the same man, OP? I concur with everyone else. He's not looking to be your boyfriend and you aren't looking for a FWB. There's nothing here for either of you.
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