S2B Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 I agree with a one off email stating that he will be exposed if he EVER communicates with you any further! Take charge and take control by telling him never to contact again! Be curt - be clear! No fluff! Just state I one sentence what you expect from here moving forward! If he responds to that (or ever) - then take action! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lostcase Posted January 10, 2016 Author Share Posted January 10, 2016 Job done! lets hope he does just that! You would think after the first or second time of sending the "error work message to me" he would of took steps to make sure he never done that again, giving the fact his wife was kind enough to take him back and try again! My marriage of 20+ years ended! What an arse X Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 Job done! lets hope he does just that! You would think after the first or second time of sending the "error work message to me" he would of took steps to make sure he never done that again, giving the fact his wife was kind enough to take him back and try again! My marriage of 20+ years ended! What an arse X Things have 'quieted down' at home and he figures it's safe now to start up again (he is bored). Now he thinks he can get away with it again. He was checking to see if you would 'be all happy' to get anything from him. He was opening the door - so to speak. Typical cheating behavior... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
imperfectangel Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 I knew it wasn't a accident. He wants the a to start again now the heat has died down at home 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lostcase Posted January 10, 2016 Author Share Posted January 10, 2016 Well I certainly learnt from my first n last affair, I am defo not going back down that path. He can run n jump, he had his chance! Xx 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 I'm not very tech savvy. Is there a way to block someone that sends a message to them? You know? "This message couldn't be sent because the recipient thinks you're a big fat poo bum & doesn't want to ever hear from you again!" (In technical speak 3 Link to post Share on other sites
veryhappy Posted January 11, 2016 Share Posted January 11, 2016 I can't tell whether you responded to the third email in any way, but please don't engage. Any further reply from you gives him something to feel good. Deal with your reactions on your own, and he'll give up with nothing to go on. If he's a relatively normal person. I'm not sure I would delete his emails. I'd keep them separately, including your reply to let him know he made a mistake. If he sends twenty, you might as well have proof in case he/the wife goes nuts. A general note to everyone in an affair. Don't risk anything you're not okay losing. If that's a 20 years marriage that you don't want to lose, stop the affair. You can't blame the other person for not managing your risks. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Dylon Posted January 12, 2016 Share Posted January 12, 2016 Don't be too certain that it's not an accident, even if it's multiple times. I've done it myself with these stupid "type field". One letter and it does the rest. If you go too fast and don't pay attention, it goes and you say "****". Other people have done it to me as well, people you are in "high" contact with. Anyway, my take is this. Always assume that it was an accident. I used to think that the AP was fishing too. She would apologize and tell me who it was meant to be for. At first, I didn't believe it and however, in time, I realized through what the message content was that sure, it happens. I've done it and I don't know anyone who hasn't made this kind of mistakes. Ignore it and let it go. It could be that he's banging his head on the table for the mistakes as well....and he was trying to heal too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lostcase Posted January 12, 2016 Author Share Posted January 12, 2016 Don't be too certain that it's not an accident, even if it's multiple times. I've done it myself with these stupid "type field". One letter and it does the rest. If you go too fast and don't pay attention, it goes and you say "****". Other people have done it to me as well, people you are in "high" contact with. Anyway, my take is this. Always assume that it was an accident. I used to think that the AP was fishing too. She would apologize and tell me who it was meant to be for. At first, I didn't believe it and however, in time, I realized through what the message content was that sure, it happens. I've done it and I don't know anyone who hasn't made this kind of mistakes. Ignore it and let it go. It could be that he's banging his head on the table for the mistakes as well....and he was trying to heal too. Hi there, I hear you. But giving the circumstances here don't you think that after he discovered the email came to me for the first & second time that he would of taken steps to make sure this never happened again, like removing me from his contacts..? X Link to post Share on other sites
Cymbeline Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 Sending to the wrong recipient by accident doesn't happen to everyone; especially when it's an ex AP. And it sure as hell doesn't happen more than once. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 Sending to the wrong recipient by accident doesn't happen to everyone; especially when it's an ex AP. And it sure as hell doesn't happen more than once. True dat!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lostcase Posted January 25, 2016 Author Share Posted January 25, 2016 Well 16 days from his last "error" and yip another "error" tonight, a work file by the look of it, wtf is he playing at, no reply from me that's for sure! I'd see the point if he chatted but this? It beats me! Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Close your email or you will never heal. I did that, yes it was inconvenient, my LinkedIn, Facebook, so many things attached to it, but I checked it 15,000 a day until I closed it. Imagine the shock when that email gets bounced back as undeliverable. This is really selfish of him, hes wanting to keep himself on your mind. His ego is shattered that he's given you a clear path to reach back out to him and you aren't. You've shown extrodinary self control, so impressed. Please find the strength now to take away his way to reach you...for YOU. This os unfair to you and shows what an @ss he is to not even consider you are trying to move on. Or maybe he considered it but his ego wont let you cause it means he will still be trapped in his same old same old marriage while you date and have new exciting true romance. He made his choice, make him live with it! 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lostcase Posted January 26, 2016 Author Share Posted January 26, 2016 I run my own business from home and it's this email he is using to send "file" to. So much harder to close the account I must be thick, as I just can not see what a grown man would get out of sending dud emails to me This is mail number 4 now. Part of me finds it amusing to be honest almost pathetic even. If it was error again, surly he would feel like an arse the 2nd time and take steps to make sure it didn't happen again. Just don't see the point in it all. Every time I get back on my feet and get stronger boom! I loved this guy with every bit of my heart and when we walked away I was torn hurt and heartbroken. Why oh why...I'm so mixed up by it all. I won't reply because I know it's pointless he made his choice, let him live with the choice he made. Feeling blah today :'( thank you for your reply xxx Link to post Share on other sites
waterwoman Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Is it possible you are on a distribution list at work? He may not even realise it is going to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 I run my own business from home and it's this email he is using to send "file" to. So much harder to close the account I must be thick, as I just can not see what a grown man would get out of sending dud emails to me �� This is mail number 4 now. Part of me finds it amusing to be honest almost pathetic even. If it was error again, surly he would feel like an arse the 2nd time and take steps to make sure it didn't happen again. Just don't see the point in it all. Every time I get back on my feet and get stronger boom! I loved this guy with every bit of my heart and when we walked away I was torn hurt and heartbroken. Why oh why...I'm so mixed up by it all. I won't reply because I know it's pointless he made his choice, let him live with the choice he made. Feeling blah today :'( thank you for your reply xxx go in your contacts and change his name to cake eater. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lostcase Posted January 26, 2016 Author Share Posted January 26, 2016 Is it possible you are on a distribution list at work? He may not even realise it is going to you. We don't work together, never have. I gave him my email once as he want to place an order. He never used it again until lately xx Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Well 16 days from his last "error" and yip another "error" tonight, a work file by the look of it, wtf is he playing at, no reply from me that's for sure! I'd see the point if he chatted but this? It beats me! It's his way of forcing you to at least think of him. Can you block his acct? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lostcase Posted January 26, 2016 Author Share Posted January 26, 2016 It's his way of forcing you to at least think of him. Can you block his acct? What a cruel thing to do. I have respected his choice to go sort it with his wife, even if it hurt like hell I respected his decision. Going to look at how to block him. Its definitely meant I think, it's no error! 4 times now, and there getting closer together! Just don't see what anybody would get out of sending a duff email. Pointless really isn't it? Link to post Share on other sites
rainbowsandkittens Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Personally I don't see this as fishing- I think it's probably a real error. BUT he doesn't want to delete your email just in case he wants to get in touch with you again... which is why it keeps happening. Link to post Share on other sites
Lovetoohard Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 I can't imagine why anyone would send work files to their xAP unless it was done inadvertently. Or sometimes, there's a virus and i get emails from people and the email seems normal at first glance, but it's just spam. 4 times is suspect, but if he's fishing, why not just send a "how are you?" email? I've sent people emails without meaning to because of the auto populate feature offered in most email programs - it's mostly with people that have the same first or last name. Not sure I would read much into this. Link to post Share on other sites
13Hearts Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Do you not understand why he is doing this because you just don't want to? It's pretty clear to me what he's doing. He is playing a game with you, like cat and mouse, and you are playing into it exactly the way he wants. How'd it feel last time you played a game with him? He's revealed his true self to you. He only wants to mess around. His excuse for not leaving his wife will be something like "I feel too guilty to leave," or "She can't make it without me." He's the kind of guy who wants a side piece, a F-buddy, and you have already shown him you're the kind of girl who's OK with that. He believes you're easy; that's why he's emailing you. And he knows how you feel about him now; heck, you left your husband of 20 years for him. So of course he knows you are going to cave. Guys like that are patient. And they get a high from playing this game, thrills. Endorphin rushes. Every time you respond. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 What a cruel thing to do. I have respected his choice to go sort it with his wife, even if it hurt like hell I respected his decision. Going to look at how to block him. Its definitely meant I think, it's no error! 4 times now, and there getting closer together! Just don't see what anybody would get out of sending a duff email. Pointless really isn't it? It's not pointless to HIM! He knows full well it causes you to think of him! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 He went NC on HER so if he didn't mean to ever correspond again he would not do this. I know it strokes your ego a bit...but it hopefully insults you because he can obviously care less about your healing. Its really selfish of him and totally transparent. Can't believe anyone could do such a thing after the 1st time you let him know. I have been an advocate of ZERO reply...now Id just say all caps...PLEASE TAKE MY CONTACT OUT OF YOUR EMAIL. no please thank you...be firm. Total BS. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Adoraxx Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Ì'm not sure if you have gmail, but you could set up the 'I'm on vacation' automatic responder, but then instead delete the 'I'm on vacation' message and replace it by a fake mailer daemon (just copy one). If you do this, you have to make sure that he is the only one in your Address Book just so he'll be the only one who gets this fake mailer daemon :/. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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