Author Montgomery Burns Posted January 9, 2016 Author Share Posted January 9, 2016 Noooooooo! The longer you wait the less likely you are to ask him to have a drink. Plus, the relief of knowing one way or the other is better than being left to wonder and stew over it. Jammer, I just stopped liking himout of sheer will. If he was intrested he would have said something solid by now. Its not a good idea for me to possibly make things weird. Sucks though I really liked him. Live and Learn! I did learnhe follows my work at work, closely but that dosent mean much. ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Montgomery Burns Posted January 9, 2016 Author Share Posted January 9, 2016 Noooooooo! The longer you wait the less likely you are to ask him to have a drink. Plus, the relief of knowing one way or the other is better than being left to wonder and stew over it. He mentioned to me this week after staring at me while I spoke to his coworker that sometimes you need a drink to get through the day. I just said yeah, and walked off. Maybe a bad thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Montgomery Burns Posted January 9, 2016 Author Share Posted January 9, 2016 Jammer, I just stopped liking himout of sheer will. If he was intrested he would have said something solid by now. Its not a good idea for me to possibly make things weird. Sucks though I really liked him. Live and Learn! I did learnhe follows my work at work, closely but that dosent mean much. ? And I probably also dropped tge ball when I asked a group he was in if they needed anything in my area before I left. Everyone said No, he said Yes so I said alright well come get it before Ilock up. He chuckled and said, "Have a Good Weekend." Ugh Link to post Share on other sites
Jammer25 Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 Maaaaaaan... What's the harm? Even if he wasn't interested, it doesn't sound like he's the type to go around and tell people you asked him for a drink/coffee/etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Montgomery Burns Posted January 10, 2016 Author Share Posted January 10, 2016 Maaaaaaan... What's the harm? Even if he wasn't interested, it doesn't sound like he's the type to go around and tell people you asked him for a drink/coffee/etc. Very True. After FB stalking I learned he is married and most likely his wife attends my parents church. This Jam is a wrap! Link to post Share on other sites
Jammer25 Posted January 11, 2016 Share Posted January 11, 2016 Very True. After FB stalking I learned he is married and most likely his wife attends my parents church. This Jam is a wrap! Ah yes, FB stalking is always fruitful if done well. In any case, on to the next one. Stay positive and be active! Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Montgomery Burns Posted January 11, 2016 Author Share Posted January 11, 2016 Ah yes, FB stalking is always fruitful if done well. In any case, on to the next one. Stay positive and be active! Good luck. Thanks Jams! Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 12, 2016 Share Posted January 12, 2016 Good info to have. Would have been nice if he'd provided it a long time ago, huh? Sometimes people think work is a safe place to flirt when they're married. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Montgomery Burns Posted January 12, 2016 Author Share Posted January 12, 2016 Good info to have. Would have been nice if he'd provided it a long time ago, huh? Sometimes people think work is a safe place to flirt when they're married. Exactly! I have a completely diff. POV. Very immature to do and what he thinks of me ? No Thank You! The way he is though would not be surprised if he is sleeping around on his wife. Honestly he is just NOT that HOT! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Montgomery Burns Posted January 16, 2016 Author Share Posted January 16, 2016 He really showed his hand todat. Mentioning his wife and kids at one point in the dat, then flashing a hotel room key and the reason why he needs to stay at a hotel sometimes. This week he was in rare form..I also caught a coworker teasing him about me. 3rd time. Link to post Share on other sites
Snakechammah Posted January 16, 2016 Share Posted January 16, 2016 Oh dear!! The dude is married! That's horrible! Stay clear of this danger zone! You deserve sooo much better! My Crush at work had a girlfriend when he first flirted with me. When I eagerly flirted back, he'd put on the brakes... and then left me wondering WTF? After he broke up with her A FEW MONTHS LATER(grr), he flirted with me again and asked me out on a proper date (and confessed he had a gf back then). I guess some guys are like that? Flirts with co-workers unconsciously and then realize, 'whoa what am I doing.. I am taken'. IDIOTS nonetheless!! Hard to trust these kind of guys. Be glad you dodged a bullet! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Montgomery Burns Posted March 6, 2016 Author Share Posted March 6, 2016 So we had a group Happy Hour Thurs and Fri. Thurs it ended up just being me and him, everyone flaked. We did nothing inappropriate at all. We laughed, talked about work, etc.. When it was time to go we said Bye and left. He told me he WAS NOT going to the next days outing. Friday at work he was avoiding me like I had Bird Flu, it was so strange because we had a lot of fun and well, I thought we were friends. Since pursuing a relationship with him is out of the question. Before I was leaving Friday he sent me an IM asking if I was going to the Happy Hour. I told him I was and he sai dhe would be there late and asked how he would find us. So I gave him my work cell to use. He ended up bot coming texted something about his wofe making plans and that was that. Then later he texted me to see if we were still there. I am very curious why at work Friday he ignored/avoided me but then contacted me to tell me the time he would arrive and got my cell. Im also curious why he couldnt have texted one of the other guys that he already knew that was going. This is such a confusing friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
fifipheebs Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 So we had a group Happy Hour Thurs and Fri. Thurs it ended up just being me and him, everyone flaked. We did nothing inappropriate at all. We laughed, talked about work, etc.. When it was time to go we said Bye and left. He told me he WAS NOT going to the next days outing. Friday at work he was avoiding me like I had Bird Flu, it was so strange because we had a lot of fun and well, I thought we were friends. Since pursuing a relationship with him is out of the question. Before I was leaving Friday he sent me an IM asking if I was going to the Happy Hour. I told him I was and he sai dhe would be there late and asked how he would find us. So I gave him my work cell to use. He ended up bot coming texted something about his wofe making plans and that was that. Then later he texted me to see if we were still there. I am very curious why at work Friday he ignored/avoided me but then contacted me to tell me the time he would arrive and got my cell. Im also curious why he couldnt have texted one of the other guys that he already knew that was going. This is such a confusing friendship. I may not be an expert on relationships, but it certainly seems like this guy wants to get you into bed and thats it. I wouldn't even dare suggest a friendship with this guy at this point, as it seems you may have begun to become somewhat emotionally attached? RED FLAG this man is. He is not worth it. He has a wife and is still doing happy hour?? Link to post Share on other sites
Survivor12 Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 He is NOT your friend. He is a co-worker--a MARRIED co-worker--that you are crushing on and who likes to flirt--and is at least considering having sex with you. This is that point in time that is so often ignored when after an affair blows up, one laments "but it just HAPPENED!" The truth is, it never "just happens". An affair begins with a decision not to walk away. This is your point of no return. Pretending that you are "just friends" or trying to convince yourself that you can be clandestine while surrounded by a group is nothing but an attempt to justify ignoring the fact that you are crossing the line. Step back. It's all downhill from here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 Very True. After FB stalking I learned he is married and most likely his wife attends my parents church. This Jam is a wrap! That's the trouble with the quiet silent types. They can keep a wife a secret for a very long time. I knew a guy and his brother for 3 years and everyone in my circle knew them. i thought they lived together at the big house with the studio. Over there, one of them finally hit on me and got something started, and the way I found out he was married was in bed, because he made a comment about feeling guilty!!! He had a house with her and young kid! I don't think hardly anyone knew he was married because a couple of guys in that crowd were protective of me and used to kind of vet guys I got interested in, and I think someone would have told me. I mean, one of them used to go to the guy's retail shop with me, or me with him. I just don't understand how it was a secret that long. He was out all the time at gigs, never once saw him with her. visited with him at his shop, no mention of her or having a kid. Those quiet types are SNEAKY! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Montgomery Burns Posted March 20, 2016 Author Share Posted March 20, 2016 I may not be an expert on relationships, but it certainly seems like this guy wants to get you into bed and thats it. I wouldn't even dare suggest a friendship with this guy at this point, as it seems you may have begun to become somewhat emotionally attached? RED FLAG this man is. He is not worth it. He has a wife and is still doing happy hour?? Good point. I am not attached emotionally. I really do like having a group of coworkers to hang out with occasionally. Since this we've not spoken and I am AOK with it. He probably was just trying to bed me but I've since moved on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Montgomery Burns Posted March 20, 2016 Author Share Posted March 20, 2016 He is NOT your friend. He is a co-worker--a MARRIED co-worker--that you are crushing on and who likes to flirt--and is at least considering having sex with you. This is that point in time that is so often ignored when after an affair blows up, one laments "but it just HAPPENED!" The truth is, it never "just happens". An affair begins with a decision not to walk away. This is your point of no return. Pretending that you are "just friends" or trying to convince yourself that you can be clandestine while surrounded by a group is nothing but an attempt to justify ignoring the fact that you are crossing the line. Step back. It's all downhill from here. I am crossing which line? Nothing has or will happen. Since this post I've avoided him completely and keep my office door closed. I'm involved with a now very single man that I enjoy hanging out with a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Montgomery Burns Posted March 20, 2016 Author Share Posted March 20, 2016 That's the trouble with the quiet silent types. They can keep a wife a secret for a very long time. I knew a guy and his brother for 3 years and everyone in my circle knew them. i thought they lived together at the big house with the studio. Over there, one of them finally hit on me and got something started, and the way I found out he was married was in bed, because he made a comment about feeling guilty!!! He had a house with her and young kid! I don't think hardly anyone knew he was married because a couple of guys in that crowd were protective of me and used to kind of vet guys I got interested in, and I think someone would have told me. I mean, one of them used to go to the guy's retail shop with me, or me with him. I just don't understand how it was a secret that long. He was out all the time at gigs, never once saw him with her. visited with him at his shop, no mention of her or having a kid. Those quiet types are SNEAKY! Haha! I have a friend that didn't know her fiance was married with 2 kids..he was quiet too. I've not spoken to.him since the last post and things are going perfectly! Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 21, 2016 Share Posted March 21, 2016 His actions, like talking a lot and then next time not looking at you could be anything, could even be pulling back. You just don't know. The fidgeting sounds more like boredom. But if overall you feel he is enjoying your banter, I think the best and safest thing to do is ask him and a few more people from work to a happy hour or to lunch and see how that goes. Link to post Share on other sites
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