Author G8trgirl Posted January 6, 2016 Author Share Posted January 6, 2016 This just keeps getting better. Advice is anyone has any because I am not understanding this. I just got off the phone with a male friend of mine that happens to also work with my ex. Yesterday this guy messaged me on FB asking me if I was ok bc I usually post pics of my son and quotes and things and because of the stress lately I haven't posted much. I just told him I was busy and tired. He just said well take care and that was it. Well, he tells someone at their job that I hadn't been posting much and so he messaged me to find out what was up. The person he said this to is my ex's boss and she and I know each other and apparently she had noticed it too. Word got back to my ex and this morning when my make friend got to work my ex verbally attacked him saying " if you want to f*ck he then go ahead because I don't care anymore" He said this several times along with calling me names and threatening to beat up my friend. A supervisor broke up the argument and sent my ex off the property to cool off. Weird thing to me is that when he came back 30 mins later my friend said he was joking around with people and happy go lucky for the rest of the day as if nothing happened. Seriously, why would he confront my friend like this at work? He has been acting like he doesn't care and saying that we aren't going to be together which is what needs to happen anyway but why get that bent out of shape over nothing. any insight? Thanks in advance Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 My guess because he does not feel in control with you. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 This just keeps getting better. Advice is anyone has any because I am not understanding this. I just got off the phone with a male friend of mine that happens to also work with my ex. Yesterday this guy messaged me on FB asking me if I was ok bc I usually post pics of my son and quotes and things and because of the stress lately I haven't posted much. I just told him I was busy and tired. He just said well take care and that was it. Well, he tells someone at their job that I hadn't been posting much and so he messaged me to find out what was up. The person he said this to is my ex's boss and she and I know each other and apparently she had noticed it too. Word got back to my ex and this morning when my make friend got to work my ex verbally attacked him saying " if you want to f*ck he then go ahead because I don't care anymore" He said this several times along with calling me names and threatening to beat up my friend. A supervisor broke up the argument and sent my ex off the property to cool off. Weird thing to me is that when he came back 30 mins later my friend said he was joking around with people and happy go lucky for the rest of the day as if nothing happened. Seriously, why would he confront my friend like this at work? He has been acting like he doesn't care and saying that we aren't going to be together which is what needs to happen anyway but why get that bent out of shape over nothing. any insight? Thanks in advance Because he's losing control and he is primarily ego-driven. It has nothing to do with love, believe me. But as I said before, you need to stop trying to figure out why he is doing this. You won't be able to make sense of it, if he actually suffers from BPD. I spent a long time trying to understand the reasons for my ex's confusing words and actions too but a counselor worded it this way: It's like trying to understand someone who speaks a completely different language. Unless you speak the same language, you won't get it. Their make-up is different, therefore their motivations are different and hard for non-sufferers to understand. It's a world of contradictions and confusion and chaos. The most important thing is that you seek emotional support for yourself and create a stable environment for your child. I very much wish I'd had someone to lean on when going through that with my ex, but I was in a new country and knew almost nobody and didn't speak the local language very well at the time. Having supportive people around you (who will not report back to your ex) is critical. Keep us updated, OP. Sometimes even just writing about it and venting here will help ease the burden a bit! Link to post Share on other sites
Author G8trgirl Posted January 6, 2016 Author Share Posted January 6, 2016 Thank for the replies and I know I need to give up on trying so hard to understand this or it will drive me crazy. He is currently at his very first apt with this new therapist and psychiatrist. I have our son with me while he is at this apt. when he dropped him off he brought a baby's first Christmas ornament from Hallmark for me. He said he had bought it for me. He had one of his own and said that he was going to buy me one but they had ran out so only one for him. But he went back and they had one for me and he bought it for me. He wasn't overly friendly. He was just like oh hey this is for you and handed it to me. I said I thought you said they were out and he said they were but they got some in and anyway do you not want it? Again nothing overly friendly but and yes here I am thinking why? I know none of this is going to make sense but WOW. Link to post Share on other sites
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