Am I just over analyzing or is she trying to make me jealous?

[Heretostayy]

Me and this girls had been talking since Halloween.

She left me 2 weeks into talking because "her heart was with her ex".

2 days later she came back, then a 2 weeks later he left and went back to her ex was with him for 3 weeks.

Now we've been talking again for 2 weeks, but I keep catching her looking at her ex's Twitter page while she's with me (I caught her at least 4 times yesterday but didn't say anything until I got feed up) . I saw her messaging some girl her ex was talking to and she asked the girl "where are you from".

 

What is this? Is she just using me, does she still love her ex even when she denies is

[Marc878]

Move on. Shes obsessed with him all you'll get is seconds.

 

You are her plan B

[Heretostayy]

Sad thing is she has him blocked but still stalks him

[NewPerspective93]

It's a sign that you need to move on.

 

She's pining over another guy and you're still around?

 

Do yourself a favor and drop her. She's already done the same to you.

[Heretostayy]

The girl I've been talking to since Halloween had gotten out a serious relationship but has left me multiple times.

 

- We talked for 2 weeks then she left me for her ex because "he has her heart". She came back 2 days later

 

- after she came back, we fixed everything. Then 2 weeks later she left me again for her ex. 3 weeks later she comes back.

 

- this week I have caught her on her spying on her ex Twitter numorus times. I asked to check her messages she wasn't talking to him, but she did message a girl that had comment on her ex post she asked the girl "where are you from". The sad thing is her ex is blocked but she still checks his page numours of times.

 

Should I take this as a red flag she's still in love with her ex

[Nitachi]

Yes she is still hung up on her ex.

[Captivating]

Yes, she is not over him. She shouldn't take advantage of your feelings and you shouldn't let this yo-yo happen. I would let her go. It's not fair with you.

[pidgeon1010]

Her heart is definitely not with you. You're a placeholder in her life for now. Someone she can run back to when the one she really wants is not meeting her needs for whatever reason. Why have you allowed yourself to be relegated to this position?

[ExpatInItaly]

Her heart is definitely not with you. You're a placeholder in her life for now. Someone she can run back to when the one she really wants is not meeting her needs for whatever reason. Why have you allowed yourself to be relegated to this position?

 

My question exactly.

 

OP, stop being a doormat and send her on her way.

 

She is quite obviously still in love with her ex. Don't be the Back-up Guy.

[Draper]

Like the people above said, don't ever settle for being someones second choice. There is no logical reason to let yourself stay in that position, because there is absolutely someone out there who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated - which this girl isn't coming close to doing.

[Ic1]

Even her first 2-day rebound would be enough for me to say "goodbye" and not even be her friend.

 

What I think you need to address is your assets here, because she's obviously using you. She owe you any money? Anything left at her place?

[Heretostayy]

I've been talking to this girl for 2 months, we started talking 2 days after she left her 3 year relationship (red flag). We've hung out everyday but

 

- she left me the 2nd week of talking to go back to her ex because "he had her heart", she came back 2 days later

 

- I took her back and forgave her then she left again 2 weeks later for her ex again, then came back 3 weeks later.

 

- we been talking and hanging out a lot, she blocked her ex on all social media, but I keep seeing her stalking his Twitter, she even goes out the way to retweet stuff off his page, and message females that's on his page asking "where are you from".

 

- last night me her and her best friend had a movie night, but she slept the whole movie.

 

I got go on to her tumblr and she wrote this

 

"I lost a part of me I will never have again, and it’s starting to eat me alive"

[Nickr3023]

I've been talking to this girl for 2 months, we started talking 2 days after she left her 3 year relationship (red flag). We've hung out everyday but

 

- she left me the 2nd week of talking to go back to her ex because "he had her heart", she came back 2 days later

 

- I took her back and forgave her then she left again 2 weeks later for her ex again, then came back 3 weeks later.

 

- we been talking and hanging out a lot, she blocked her ex on all social media, but I keep seeing her stalking his Twitter, she even goes out the way to retweet stuff off his page, and message females that's on his page asking "where are you from".

 

- last night me her and her best friend had a movie night, but she slept the whole movie.

 

I got go on to her tumblr and she wrote this

 

"I lost a part of me I will never have again, and it’s starting to eat me alive"

 

Here ya go. Read my story. You'll get your answers. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/558290-moving

 

You're in for a losing battle unfortunately. Trying to date someone just out of a long term relationship I will say from experience, is simply impossible. She's using you as comfort so she can avoid feeling the pain of losing her ex. You're her 2nd choice, and her rebound. I hate to be blunt, but I know the pain and suffering I went through for a year with this woman and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It was an emotional rollercoaster that I'm still on even 6 weeks after the final breakup. Eventually she's going to have to grieve the loss of her ex, and if you're around, you're going to get the brunt of it....and it's simply awful. Things are gonna go from perfect and magical, to depressed and ****ty real quick. I'm sorry you're going through this but know that most of us have been there, and we'll do our best to steer you in the right direction.

[PegNosePete]

She is still in love with her ex.

 

You are the rebound.

 

If you keep taking her back, the same thing will keep on happening again and again and again.

 

There is only one person who can stop the cycle. You.

[Silver_star]

Sorry that sucks.

 

 

She is still mourning the loss of her last relationship.

You say "red flag" as if you understand it is not a good thing for you, but then you continue to see her and expect something more of her. Then she dumps you.

 

 

She can't give you more. She probably gives you attention from time to time so that she can feel safe and normal again with the security of being in a "relationship". She probably likes you, but she can't develop a full connection with you because she has not left her ex in the past yet.

 

She can tell you she is 100% over him to your face, but you should know that is not the truth by now. She can't give you her heart 100% when her head and heart are still trying to get over her ex.

 

 

I would cut your losses and let her go so she can heal. You deserve more. Some people don't like to be alone. She probably loves the attention you give her and it is just comforting her during this time, but it's not genuine affection for you. Sadly, it sounds like you're just filling a void right now.

[Heretostayy]

We hangout everyday, is being to avalible make her miss her ex more

 

I've been talking to this girl for 2 months, we started talking 2 days after she left her 3 year relationship (red flag).

 

- she left me the 2nd week of talking to go back to her ex because "he had her heart", she came back 2 days later

 

- I took her back and forgave her then she left again 2 weeks later for her ex again, then came back 3 weeks later.

 

- we been talking and hanging out a lot, she blocked her ex on all social media, but I keep seeing her stalking his Twitter, she even goes out the way to retweet stuff off his page, and message females that's on his page asking "where are you from".

 

- last night me her and her best friend had a movie night, but she slept the whole movie.

 

I got go on to her tumblr and she wrote this

 

"I lost a part of me I will never have again, and it’s starting to eat me alive"

 

Im lost

[Jersey born raised]

Friend zone her. End any thought of a romantic relationship.

[Samhain]

You're not lost, you know the answers, you're just not facing them.

 

She has no emotional capacity to let anybody else in, she still clearly has too many feelings for her ex, and she's using you as a distraction (and pretty unsuccessfully so).

 

You have let her back twice, and she will do the same again. Allowing somebody back once is a mistake that can be understood, (remember the saying fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me) well she's about to make it a third time.

 

She does not love you or have any romantic feelings for you. It's been a short period of time since a 3 year relationship ended, that would take the majority of people a significant amount of time until they were ready to move on with someone else. You are a shameless rebound.

 

For your own integrity, instead of waiting for her to do it, you need to tell her you are ending things once and for all, so that you can move on and eventually be with somebody who has enough emotional stability to be willing to put in as much effort as you are.

 

Even if eventually she gets over her ex (and that will take a long time from how she seems to be obsessing over him) rebound relationships still rarely work because the person is evolving emotionally so much.

 

Don't let her make you feel like a fool for a third time, because if you don't end it, she will, at least if you do it first you will be left with a trace of pride, regardless of how much it hurts.

[Chronotrgr]

I can't say I have any first hand experience of this as I don't date people who are fresh out of relationships, but I can tell you that this won't end well for you and it will never end in your favour, I'm sorry to break that to you but your the snuggle buddy and can't possibly hope to be anything else for quite some time.

 

A few years a go I was involved with somebody, she broke up with me, I thought it was final, all the nails in the coffin, she went away for a fortnight after dumping me a fortnight prior to going away, it was rough but I met a nice girl, she was lovely and I was stupid, she couldn't have been any more of a nicer person to me, we got on great, we had a night or 2 together and got together, my heart wasn't completely in it but I thought "hey it'll heal with this beautiful girl by my side".

 

Long story short, my ex came back, said she missed me, wanted to be with me, I chucked the other girl and never looked back, I bet that girl hates me now, I hate me too, I would have been way better off just sticking with her.

 

I was pondering joining a dating website but other than being put off by the fact that they aren't all that great, I think about that situation back then and I know it would be a mistake, I don't believe history will repeat itself but I know for sure I couldn't give my heart to somebody when it currently belongs to somebody else.

 

You sound like a nice feller, you'd have to to to be posting on here about a girl who is drifting from you to her ex and back, most would say no thanks and leave, I fully believe you should do the same but that's your choice matey.

[ExpatInItaly]

Sorry OP, but get rid of her. She is clearly still emotionally tied to her ex. Don't let her treat you like a back-up plan anymore.

 

At the moment, she knows you're not strong enough to tell her to p*ss off, so yes, I'd say you can expect this to happen again.

[Heretostayy]

I've been talking to this girl for 2 months, we started talking 2 days after she left her 3 year relationship. We have spent almost all day everyday together, slept with each other etc. here's the story:

 

- she left me the 2nd week of talking to go back to her ex because "he had her heart", she came back 2 days later

 

- I took her back and forgave her then she left again 2 weeks later for her ex again, then came back 3 weeks later.

 

- we been talking and hanging out a lot, she blocked her ex on all social media, but I keep seeing her stalking his Twitter, she even goes out the way to retweet stuff off his page, and message females that's on his page asking "where are you from".

 

- last night me her and her best friend had a movie night, but she slept the whole movie.

 

- she texted her ex about returning his stuff

 

I got go on to her tumblr and she wrote this

 

"I lost a part of me I will never have again, and it’s starting to eat me alive" (was this going towards her ex. Because she said it in tumblr where she thought I couldn't see it.)

 

Im lost

[Scarlett.O'hara]

I'm sorry, but you are blatantly being used by her.

 

It is very clear she is not over her ex. If he contacts her again, all he has to do is snap his fingers and she will go running back again.

 

The question is, do you really want to be with someone like that?

[Heretostayy]

Even if we hang out all the time

[mtnbiker3000]

IME... YES!!! Look at actions, not words!!

[ExpatInItaly]

Even if we hang out all the time

 

Yes, because she's using your constant presence to fill the void left by her ex. He was there all the time, now he's not, so you've been substituted in to fill that gap. But it's still his void.

 

Don't let yourself be treated this way. I said so in your other thread too. It won't end well for you.