Rejected Rosebud Posted January 1, 2016 Share Posted January 1, 2016 He said he's looking for a long term relationship but he hasn't dated anyone in a couple of years. He has told me he likes me but I still can't tell by his actions. On Monday I called him, he didn't seem interested in talking to me and got off the phone after about 5 mins. You really can't tell by his actions? Are you mostly boyfriend and girlfriend just because you told each other you would be?? Do you think he really likes you a lot and do you like him a lot?:confused: Link to post Share on other sites
tuxedo cat Posted January 1, 2016 Share Posted January 1, 2016 (edited) In my own dating experience there's been a strong correlation between a guy's communication level and his interest. I'd say consistent contact is perhaps the most important tell of interest level. In fact, even when a guy has told me he's not ready for a relationship but keeps blowing up my phone, he usually comes around later and confesses that he wants exclusivity but was just scared. I'm more inclined to trust a guy's behavior over his words. As an example I was recently seeing two guys. One implied he was game for a relationship with me (when prompted), the other said he didn't know what he wants and is wary of relationships. The first guy rarely contacted me between dates and claimed it's because he's not a texter. The second guy messaged me almost every day and wanted to learn as much as he could about me. In the end the first guy told me he was on the fence about me while the second said he really likes me and wants to move in the direction of exclusivity, was just scared at the beginning. Actions over words. This dude says you're his girlfriend but is he really treating you like one? The fact that you guys are semi long distance makes it even more important that he keep in regular contact so you don't drift apart. I've also had girlfriends who turned a lukewarm, reticent guy around but they had to be aggressive and basically chase him down. Ask yourself if you want to be with someone so passive or disengaged that he needs a woman to set the relationship pace. Some women are more dominant and prefer the chase, but it doesn't sound like you do. The third, related possibility is that he's just not an expressive guy, which sounds like an incompatibility with your relationship style. I personally need a guy to be expressive, not only because it helps me gauge his interest but because it fosters a feeling of closeness to him. Edited January 1, 2016 by tuxedo cat Link to post Share on other sites
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