Hate kids but are a parent?

[Trishern]

I'm a mother and it's great now, but I wish:

 

 

• I never had to endure the labour pains
  
• The sleepless nights
  
• The feeding/changing diapers
  
• The expense of daycare
  
• The drain on my finances
  
• The stress on our marriage
  
• The work they create...washing, ironing etc
  

But I always wanted kids and would not have it any other way. I'd have been very sad if I never had kids.

 

 

They are in their teens now and it's wonderful having them. I sometimes wish you could just go and buy a child without the whole pregnancy.

 

 

It's not for everyone though.

 

 

 

 

Mrs T

[Madame_Noire]

My friend is very similar to this. She posts on social media how much she loves her kids. But she confides in me saying that her kids are driving her up the wall and she wished she didn't have kids.

 

She once asked me when am I going to have kids. I told her never. Funnily enough, seeing how miserable she is, she is the reason why I do not want them. I babysat for her once because I thought I wanted them and all the child did was scream the house down. I was so glad to give him back to his mother! LOL

 

My friend says that she is glad that I 'get her' becasue she rants to me saying how unhappy she is and she is now on anti-depressants. All of her kids were unplanned, she wanted to terminate all the pregnancies but went full term with them. She seems like a good mother to the kids, I guess she has to be. The BF said he wants more and she should be happy because she will get time off work because of maternity!

[Earlybird]

I hate cartoons, nursery rhymes, most toys, homework, theme parks and I especially hate being pestered by people on the street offering random advice about how to raise my kid. Not to mention the relationship, financial, and career problems that often come as part of the package. All of that is loathsome. But kids themselves are actually pretty amazing. My daughter is amazing, and she's helped me to be less awkward around other kids too.

Edited February 26, 2016 by Earlybird

[bathrobe]

 

 

• The labour pains
  
• The sleepless nights
  
• The feeding/changing diapers
  
• The expense of daycare
  
• The drain on my finances
  
• The stress on our marriage
  
• The work they create...washing, ironing etc
  

 

 

I don't have kids, but I imagine this is how it would be like. Last year, I spent 2 weeks at my friends' house who have 2 kids, aged 1.5 and 3. Oh man, everyday was the same, endless feeding&cleaning afterwards (not to mention the food preparation), same cartoons&songs every day, battle to get them to sleep, then just as one feel asleep the other one woke up, tantrums, brushing teeth against their will ... I wouldn't last a day! The kids were quite cute, but a little bit too spoiled.

 

I hated kids till I was in mid 20s, now I tolerate them and enjoy some of them. I'm a godmother to my BF's daughter and I love to play with her and read her stories. She is a well behaved kid though. I have no patience for spoiled brats (and their parents). I'm in my early 30's now and still don't know whether I'm gonna have kids. It seems sooooo much work and sleeplessness, I hate kids's music and movies, but I think I would enjoy some aspects of parenthood.

[Blue08]

I have three boys and I was their primary caregiver before the divorce, I did everything related to caring for the home, my husband, and my children. I would get tired because I needed a break but my break was considered going to the grocery store once a week.

 

My EX husband would completely disagree with me in front of my kids but I couldn't disagree with him, and i tried like heck to try and get him to see my point of view.

 

The kids favor his father even though he is a jerk, and they have very little respect for me then and now. My EX would call my oldest stupid, lazy, would grab his belly at the dinner table implying he was fat and didn't need seconds, he would call his goodnights diapers to try and stop having accidents, he rubbed my oldest sons face in the mattress after he had an accident while he was sleeping, he spanked him HARD for having accidents in the bed. I would stick up for him, We went to counseling and my ex didn't take any advice from the counselor, I called the school because I thought it was abuse, apparently it's not.

 

Anyways it was emotionally exhausting for me and my oldest. Even through all of this they still respect him more than me, when they are with me like I said they have very little respect for me and I believe it is partially his fault because of the way he disagree with me in front of me.

 

This makes it very challenging to parent my two younger ones ( NOT MY OLDEST) My 7yr old has explosive temper tantrums and I have a to bear hug him until he calms down so he doesn't hurt himself, his brothers, or destroy the house. I tried talking to his father about this but guess what it's MY FAULT.

 

I love my boys with all my heart, their father always putting me down and pushing me away and teaching them to do the same makes it very challenging for me to establish a healthy relationship with them that I have desperately tried to do.

 

My two boys live with him during the school week and my oldest lives with me. The story behind this is ridiculous...

 

Anyways children are challenging, and some parents are better than others, maybe complaining about them is another way to vent or to laugh off some stress with inappropriate humor.

[Madame_Noire]

I have experience of this, my friend. She says she loves her kids but hates being a mother. Maybe because she has no time for herself and every single waking minute of the day has something to do with the kids.

[darkmoon]

I was an abused daughter. Not all kids are wanted. Publicly, all is lovey-dovey, not behind closed doors at home though.

[Miss Clavel]

I'm a mother and it's great now, but I wish:

 

 

• I never had to endure the labour pains
  
• The sleepless nights
  
• The feeding/changing diapers
  
• The expense of daycare
  
• The drain on my finances
  
• The stress on our marriage
  
• The work they create...washing, ironing etc
  

But I always wanted kids and would not have it any other way. I'd have been very sad if I never had kids.

 

 

They are in their teens now and it's wonderful having them. I sometimes wish you could just go and buy a child without the whole pregnancy.

 

 

It's not for everyone though.

 

 

 

 

Mrs T

 

we must be the only two people left that still iron.

[Raena]

I can relate to the parents who complain about being a parent. It's not easy to be a parent. But the one thing I keep reminding myself is "This too shall pass". All of the crazy sleepless nights and lack of free time will one day pass and I'll be living alone with no one to mess up my house and make loud noises. I'll have no one but myself to cook dinner for, clean up after and harass to be a better person. I'll be able to lay around all day on a day off and read books in my jammies without being interrupted if I so choose. I'm not looking forward to those days of empty nesting just yet. As much as my child drives me nuts at times, I love him. It doesn't mean I won't complain when he talks... non-stop... all day long... to himself, to the wall, to the dog, the cats, his computer, the tv, to me, to the wind, to himself. I mean, he's NOISY!!! For someone who likes peace and quiet, it's jarring to listen to all the noise constantly. But I love him, and I'll cherish every moment I have with him. It doesn't mean I won't complain about the things he does that drive me absolutely NUTS and about never having time to just be me and relax.

 

I can relate to your friend. It is very frustrating to be a parent. Especially if you don't have a perfect child who is perfectly behaved. Some kids are just naturally more inclined to listen and behave well. Others not so much. Not everyone has the patience to deal with young kids. I know I didn't. But I learned and I'm still learning. Some days I want to rip my hair out and cry. Other days I am just bursting with pride and joy over who my son is and who he's becoming.

 

It is possible for it to be both... the best and the worst thing that ever happened to a person. The daily frustrations and aggravations give way to a love that knows no bounds.

 

Remind your friend that all of the aggravations are worth it in the end. Being a parent is the most important job she'll ever have. Let her rant about the aggravations and then remind her "This too shall pass..."