Wife's Male Best friend

[road]

Wife refuses to give you her phone password. Uh oh. Those that have nothing to hide, hide nothing.

 

 

Your WW is hiding an EA at the least. There must be NC with this OM for the rest of your lives.

 

 

Time to man up and put your foot down. Squashing this EA.

[Friskyone4u]

Sorry to say this is not going to end well for you my friend.

 

You seem unwilling or unable to accept what she is doing and apparently has done before according to what has been posted about your other threads, which I have not read.

 

Your next post or thread will tell everyone she hooked up with him, and unfortunately it appears you are willing to have that happen rather than argue with her and show her some consequences.

[sandylee1]

Perhaps you should tell her that until she can be open with her accounts and phone.. you need to go back to the seperation. Take a stand or this will be the rest of your marriage.

 

Say it with a bag packed and be ready to walk out. She needs decide who is more important to her.

[hestheone66]

I had a controlling toxic ex.

He felt threatened by all my friendships .I've ways had platonic male friends he would tell me that my loyalty to him should mean I would sacrifice my friends if he had a problem with them. As there was no reason to be jealous he would become toxic to them and put me in an awkward position.

I would be secretive and angry with him and resentedhim a lot.after I left him I met someone iwho was my soul mate. We realised after we had a brief fling that we're better as friends and have vowed. Not to let others come between us. My boyfriend met him after we'd been dating about 1 year. They are now friends and I'm friends with his gf. Don't make ultimatums with people's other relationships. My previous ex was asserting his rights being alpha etcbut I think it was him scared of what others would say and that it may seem disrespectful eg etc.

My current boyfriend is secure in himself and us and that is much sexier and less stressful. We've all benefitted from allowing the friendship to be what it should be

[S2B]

You've been clear on what is unacceptable for you.

 

She keeps crossing that boundary.

 

 

Now you've moved your boundary many times to accommodate her unacceptable way she's been participating.

 

And yet she hasn't had any consequences? She thinks she can do whatever she wishes and you will take her crap.

 

 

And you have a one year old when she's been so involved with the other guy - so much that she states it won't work out with the M because you don't agree to her very loose terms? No can do man!

 

Have the child DNA tested.

 

If she thinks she's choosing the OM over the M then give her what she wants. She doesn't respect you. She also disregards your feelings. That's not a healthy marriage - not even close.

 

 

Faithful and trusting spouses never act like she's acting!

[Just a Guy]

Hestheone66, does your boyfriend have a female friend who he is close with and with whom he had a fling in the past? If yes and you are Ok with it good for you although I would think that in actual fact you would be suspicious as ever and jealous to boot if in fact he did have such a GF. My point is that your reality is not the same as skyss reality and what is perfectly acceptable to you is anathema to him. Your current BF may be an exception but most men in his situation would react in the same way. There is also the fact that his wife has broken the rules set mutually by both of them and has shown gross disrespect to her husband by issuing an ultimatum to him that the marriage itself is in danger if he persists with his insistence on her breaking off things with her BF.

Sky, as others have pointed out your wife is displaying abusive behaviour which you can ignore at your peril. You would be well advised to take action to protect your own interests. If your wife is not open to couples counselling then it would be best to start consulting an attorney to protect yourself.

[Clockwork]

My wife has been friends with this guy for years. There was a moment where the two of them were single and they made out a few times. She claims that it was nothing, they were just trying to see what would come out of it, which is understandable I guess. I've been trying to be ok with it despite my feelings. She asked me if I minded that they be friends again. I tried to be understanding and said yes, but because of my comfort level we have to kind of ease into it. She agreed to it, so we set some ground rules, which were texting only, no phone calls and no hanging out privately.

 

But my requests were not met and they texted each other and spoke on the phone. Not only that but she also deleted the messages. Months later after all the dust settled, she brought him again. She asked if she could be friends with him again. I told her no because I tried and my trust was violated; long story short she told me that we're not going to work out because of this.

 

At this point we were roughly 3 years in with a 1yr old, so it kinda hurt because I felt that in terms of importance I outweighed him. A couple months later she said that she wasn't going to leave me to be friends with him, she was just angry. At this point in our relationship I feel that she may have feelings for him and she just doesn't want to face or admit them. She's said on many occasions that she doesn't have any romantic feelings, he's just a link to a time where her mother was alive. I really don't how to feel about this.

 

There is one problem with the title right off the bat. "Wife's Male Best Friend." If you - the husband - are NOT your wife's best friend then there is a problem. Even worse if her best friend is a guy that she made out with a couple of times. Look into that. You should be her best friend 100% of the time.

[Marc878]

I totally agree, but it's like every time I go to stand my ground it just turns into a big argument.

 

So.........

[Cherryz]

Once you choose to have a bf you should be "clean" of having sex buddys , exes etc in your network.

Let alone if you gonna marry. ?This issue should have been a topic before engagement if possible.

Meaning she should have told you this before marriage and you should have had told her then what you think about this.

 

It doesnt matter if its best friend of 1000 years. You suppose to marry your best friend.

So if you still claiming and more worry about your friend that you messed with more then your husband its a problem.

 

Sure you have to keep your freinds also when you are married. But they should understand that you are married so same things wont go down no more or same way.

 

And if she had something with this guy, its better for her to keep her marriage clean by

taking steps back from having contact with him.

And be honest about it. instead of making up bs storys or deleting mssges.

 

Have a calm talk with her again, and talk about how it makes you feel.

If she loves you she will do something about it knowing that it hurts you.

[Cherryz]

Beside if she messed with this guy before i dont think why she called a freind.

Isnt it a ex? Ex something?

 

Friend is someone who you sure ddnt had or have any kind of sexual experience with or desire.

 

Sometimes its like people use the term "freind" to get away with things or as a cover for the "freind" to be accepted without complications or to do what they want.

Really if its her freind he also will understand that he should back off.

[hestheone66]

Not only does my boyfriend trust me, his ex wife is still close to him. I know that he would help her if she needed that. I agree he's not the typical guy. Jealousy is a type of ego validation which is redundant if you are self assured and don't define your happiness via another person's approval of what you do

 

QUOTE=Just a Guy;6683850]Hestheone66, does your boyfriend have a female friend who he is close with and with whom he had a fling in the past? If yes and you are Ok with it good for you although I would think that in actual fact you would be suspicious as ever and jealous to boot if in fact he did have such a GF. My point is that your reality is not the same as skyss reality and what is perfectly acceptable to you is anathema to him. Your current BF may be an exception but most men in his situation would react in the same way. There is also the fact that his wife has broken the rules set mutually by both of them and has shown gross disrespect to her husband by issuing an ultimatum to him that the marriage itself is in danger if he persists with his insistence on her breaking off things with her BF.

Sky, as others have pointed out your wife is displaying abusive behaviour which you can ignore at your peril. You would be well advised to take action to protect your own interests. If your wife is not open to couples counselling then it would be best to start consulting an attorney to protect yourself.