How would you respond to a one word text?

[kendahke]

I've been on two dates with this guy and its been going really well. He's shown interest and we have a good time together. He asked me out on a third date earlier this week, but I was unable to go.

 

Last night he asked me how my Thanksgiving was and I responded today saying "it was definitely one for the books! Still recovering. How was yours?" He responded a few hours later with "very cool" and that's it. Nothing else.

 

I know most people would say just let it go, but part of me really wants to text back with "sorry I asked" or "ok..." or something. I just find it strange that he couldn't answer my question. It does not seem like him.

 

Thoughts?

 

A guy I'm seeing is very economical with words through texting. He's quite verbose in person.

 

Some people just don't like texting. How is he in person and talking on the phone?

 

I wouldn't make those comments to him that you posted--if someone had written that to me after I replied with one to two words, I'd wonder why they are all in their feelings and come to the conclusion that they are high maintenance. I wouldn't bother with asking "what's wrong"--I'd just say "OK" and fade.

Edited December 1, 2015 by kendahke

[kendahke]

Update.

 

He ended up calling and we talked for a bit. Then he asked "when am I gonna see you again? I really enjoy getting to know you. I'd like to hear from you more."

 

Just so you know, we've had two dates and he asked me out on a third, but I couldn't make it.

 

Shouldn't guys be doing all of the initiating in the beginning stages of dating? Or does every man work differently? I'm only asking because I usually expect the man to initiate everything until the relationship reaches a more solid stage.

 

What do you guys think?

 

This is going to be over before it begins.

 

You're into game playing. That's for children.

[kendahke]

Just wanted to post an update on my situation.

 

I don't know, maybe I'm overreacting, but this guy is definitely sending mixed signals. For instance, he'll say things like "I'll always make time for you" and "I wanna hear from you more" but I'm still feeling weird, distant energy on his end. We talked over the weekend about meeting for dinner on tues or wed. So I followed up with him this morning and asked "when are we meeting for dinner this week?" He told me "I'll let you know later today. Can't wait to see you." It is now 10pm and he hasn't said anything. This is the kind of thing I'm talking about. He says one thing, but his actions tell me otherwise.

 

I really wanna tell him I made other plans once he does get back to me... But another part of me also wants to call him out on his behavior when we meet for dinner.

 

Any thoughts are appreciated.

 

You know what? Just stop dealing with him.

 

The level of hostility you've brought to this after only 2 dates is just plain overbearing. If you pulled that on me, I'd leave you there to pay the bill.

 

At only 2 dates in, your involvement doesn't have the legs to support you taking this ham-fisted approach.

 

Move on.

[Michelle ma Belle]

You know what? Just stop dealing with him.

 

The level of hostility you've brought to this after only 2 dates is just plain overbearing. If you pulled that on me, I'd leave you there to pay the bill.

 

At only 2 dates in, your involvement doesn't have the legs to support you taking this ham-fisted approach.

 

Move on.

 

I second this. It's only been TWO DATES! You said in your opening post that his one word answers "isn't like him" but the truth is you have no idea who he is or what he's like to make that kind of statement.

 

Seriously, passive aggressive game playing is the kiss of death not to mention the sign of immaturity.

 

Good luck.

[Redhead14]

I've been on two dates with this guy and its been going really well. He's shown interest and we have a good time together. He asked me out on a third date earlier this week, but I was unable to go.

 

Last night he asked me how my Thanksgiving was and I responded today saying "it was definitely one for the books! Still recovering. How was yours?" He responded a few hours later with "very cool" and that's it. Nothing else.

 

I know most people would say just let it go, but part of me really wants to text back with "sorry I asked" or "ok..." or something. I just find it strange that he couldn't answer my question. It does not seem like him.

 

Thoughts?

 

I've been on two dates with this guy

It does not seem like him.

 

You do not know him well enough to make an evaluation of what does or doesn't seem like him.And, regardless of how his response made you feel, don't send a smug response. You don't know what's going on on the other side of that phone . . . maybe he got interrupted, maybe he's hung over still but at least thought of you, or maybe, maybe, maybe

He did answer your question -- his Thanksgiving holiday was "very cool". Your answer wasn't that engaging in terms of a response either. For whatever reason, he couldn't or didn't want to engage in a long texting conversation. At least he did reach out and ask about your holiday.

 

Let it go. Continue to observe how he communicates with you and whether or not he asks you out again. Given that you were unable to go when he did ask you, did you offer an alternate date? If you didn't, he may be wondering about your interest level as well. When a guy asks you for a date or another date and you are unavailable and you really like him, you should offer an alternate at least.

[LoveRefreshed]

Yeah, if I asked you on a date and you were busy but didn't counter offer with another time, I would assume you're uninterested.

 

You should just stop looking too much into texts. If you wanted him to text more, maybe just send another text to spark the conversation. "Hope you got to devour some Turkey!?" Or something.

 

Finally, yeah, you should have done that and the whole time leading into a.. "So I'm free on XX day, want to get a cup of coffee and make wild love?" or well, you know, just show him you are interested in seeing him again.

[Toodaloo]

Sure yeah he should be doing all the initiating. All the texting. You should never have to text him first. Ever.

And every text from him must be an elequent and original work of art..

 

If he asks you on 10 dates and you decline without giving him another option he should ask you for an 11th.

Just saying he realy wants to see you isn't enough. Don't help him in any way, and don't suggest you might like to see him. He is the man after all. He should do all initiating.

 

You should not have to a single thing to progress this because you are a woman.

 

Ahhh - your from Auz!

 

That explains how you know how to use sarcasm!

 

You forgot that after 40 years of marriage he should still do everything while we women get manicures...

[MissLY]

Thanks everyone for all of your comments. I'm completely hearing what everyone is saying, but my gut feeling still tells me that something is off. I don't know.

 

He told me yesterday morning that he would get back to me about dinner in the afternoon, but instead he got back to me today. I don't know about any of you, but to me that's a light red flag, especially if he couldn't provide an explanation for it.

 

Most of you are saying that I'm too high maintenance, game playing or not initiating enough. That's not my intention. I've dated all types of guys (mostly players) my ENTIRE life, and I've initiated almost 90 percent of those relationships. They never ended up working out however, simply because they've displayed the type of behaviour that this current guy is showing (we met online btw). This is why I'm starting to take a backseat and let the man come to me for once, since that is something relatively new for me and I feel like it shows true, genuine interest on their part since they are the ones initiating.

 

I'm bringing this up because in the beginning, this guy came after me. Now it feels different. I can't tell if he is genuinely interested in me but would rather talk on the phone and meet face to face, or if he's just feeding me lines and has lukewarm interest. It's hard to say.

 

Anyway, I've decided to bring this up gently when I see him this weekend. We'll see how it goes. Thanks again for all of your comments.

[Xiomn]

 

Shouldn't guys be doing all of the initiating in the beginning stages of dating?

 

No. That's what society has conditioned you to believe.

[Toodaloo]

Thanks everyone for all of your comments. I'm completely hearing what everyone is saying, but my gut feeling still tells me that something is off. I don't know.

 

He told me yesterday morning that he would get back to me about dinner in the afternoon, but instead he got back to me today. I don't know about any of you, but to me that's a light red flag, especially if he couldn't provide an explanation for it.

 

Most of you are saying that I'm too high maintenance, game playing or not initiating enough. That's not my intention. I've dated all types of guys (mostly players) my ENTIRE life, and I've initiated almost 90 percent of those relationships. They never ended up working out however, simply because they've displayed the type of behaviour that this current guy is showing (we met online btw). This is why I'm starting to take a backseat and let the man come to me for once, since that is something relatively new for me and I feel like it shows true, genuine interest on their part since they are the ones initiating.

 

I'm bringing this up because in the beginning, this guy came after me. Now it feels different. I can't tell if he is genuinely interested in me but would rather talk on the phone and meet face to face, or if he's just feeding me lines and has lukewarm interest. It's hard to say.

 

Anyway, I've decided to bring this up gently when I see him this weekend. We'll see how it goes. Thanks again for all of your comments.

 

I think he has just got bored and is starting to move on.

[MidwestUSA]

 

Shouldn't guys be doing all of the initiating in the beginning stages of dating? Or does every man work differently? I'm only asking because I usually expect the man to initiate everything until the relationship reaches a more solid stage.

 

What do you guys think?

 

After the first date with the man who became my husband, I knew I wanted to see him again, and was pretty sure the feeling was mutual. I said 'pizza's on me, 7pm Saturday, here's the address, no regrets'.

 

If you see something you think you may want, go for it. You've suggested two very poor passive aggressive responses to him based on YOUR interpretation of his texts. That is indeed game playing.

 

Why do you feel the need to bring the topic up 'gently' with him? Assert yourself!!

[Redhead14]

Thanks everyone for all of your comments. I'm completely hearing what everyone is saying, but my gut feeling still tells me that something is off. I don't know.

 

He told me yesterday morning that he would get back to me about dinner in the afternoon, but instead he got back to me today. I don't know about any of you, but to me that's a light red flag, especially if he couldn't provide an explanation for it.

 

Most of you are saying that I'm too high maintenance, game playing or not initiating enough. That's not my intention. I've dated all types of guys (mostly players) my ENTIRE life, and I've initiated almost 90 percent of those relationships. They never ended up working out however, simply because they've displayed the type of behaviour that this current guy is showing (we met online btw). This is why I'm starting to take a backseat and let the man come to me for once, since that is something relatively new for me and I feel like it shows true, genuine interest on their part since they are the ones initiating.

 

I'm bringing this up because in the beginning, this guy came after me. Now it feels different. I can't tell if he is genuinely interested in me but would rather talk on the phone and meet face to face, or if he's just feeding me lines and has lukewarm interest. It's hard to say.

 

Anyway, I've decided to bring this up gently when I see him this weekend. We'll see how it goes. Thanks again for all of your comments.

 

In the very early stages, a woman needs to be receptive and responsive. And, she doesn't "take a backseat". She needs to be a participant. He initiates the first few dates, communications, etc., and if he's been consistent, she then starts initiating some things. It needs to be balanced a little bit, otherwise, he isn't sure of what her interest is either. If he feels like you're lukewarm, he's gonna get lukewarm also.

 

I've initiated almost 90 percent -- Sure, that's too much. If you're doing all the work, you can't gauge his interest. Balance is the key.

 

Talk to him this weekend. Find out what his dating goals are and tell him what yours are. Just make a statement of what you're looking for and, it's not necessarily with him right now, but at least to find out if you're on the same page overall. If he says he's looking for a casual relationship for himself, then you move on.

[justabottle]

I've been on two dates with this guy and its been going really well. He's shown interest and we have a good time together. He asked me out on a third date earlier this week, but I was unable to go.

 

Last night he asked me how my Thanksgiving was and I responded today saying "it was definitely one for the books! Still recovering. How was yours?" He responded a few hours later with "very cool" and that's it. Nothing else.

 

I know most people would say just let it go, but part of me really wants to text back with "sorry I asked" or "ok..." or something. I just find it strange that he couldn't answer my question. It does not seem like him.

 

Thoughts?

 

Two dates aren't enough for you to tell what kind of person he is, how well do you know him to say "it does not seem like him"?

 

Some guys just don't express themselves well with text, like my boyfriend, he still sends 1 word replies and this is the way he works, because he doesn't like to type lengthy sentences, he prefers to call me or meet me and talk. Guys and girls work differently. Granted that there are some guys who texts lengthy setences, but some don't, either you deal with it, or move on.

[kendahke]

I agree with Toodaloo.

 

This happens a lot with OLD--it's certainly happened with me. A few nice dates and then fizzle. His interest level may not be where yours is and like a lot of people, doesn't know how to tell you that he's not into you enough to pursue further or faster.

[smackie9]

Update.

 

 

 

Shouldn't guys be doing all of the initiating in the beginning stages of dating? Or does every man work differently? I'm only asking because I usually expect the man to initiate everything until the relationship reaches a more solid stage.

 

What do you guys think?

It should be 50/50....you reciprocate if you want any kind of success in dating. It's not the 1950's.