Tayla Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 A gentlemen may ask, a player just takes. I'd rather a casual kiss on the cheek is fine. Intimacy can happen later in future dates. Regard those first dates.
Myragal Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 Every man I have dated has kissed me at the end of the evening. I didn't wither away or implode even if I have no attraction. I'll survive a light kiss. I have had a couple of requests and it takes away from the magic. Most of us still have young girl fantasies of being swept up by Prince Charming. I still remember one fellow kissing me and then stating quite emphatically. 'I couldn't resist. You look so delicious'...gave me a thrill. 1
Author IronZ Posted November 27, 2015 Author Posted November 27, 2015 Every man I have dated has kissed me at the end of the evening. I didn't wither away or implode even if I have no attraction. I'll survive a light kiss. I have had a couple of requests and it takes away from the magic. Most of us still have young girl fantasies of being swept up by Prince Charming. I still remember one fellow kissing me and then stating quite emphatically. 'I couldn't resist. You look so delicious'...gave me a thrill. It depends on the situation and on the connection and person. Not every man is X and every woman is Y as so to speak. We have different tendencies and things that make each case different. With some girls I have been able to be "Prince Charming" and have that magic you speak of. With others it just hasn't come across the same way.
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 (edited) Unfortunately mot women are turned off by permission seeking behavior Edited November 27, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
GrapeJuice Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 Depends... In my culture you usually don't ask permission, but in the culture I'm living right now, there are a LOT of rules to follow. I am confused. My advice would be, go with the flow and whatever feels right at the moment.
todreaminblue Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 most guys i have gone out with ask me the respectful ones anyway...i actually like it when they do.....it sets them apart..i dont think its lame at all i think its old skool or to me anyway..old skool should have a revival..deb 4
littlez360 Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 The guy just has to go for it at some point... However I can remember meeting a girl at a bar, we walked from bar to bar, having a lot of laughs, and we stopped on a bench between bars to smoke a joint. I stopped and said "I gotta tell you, you're the cutest girl I've seen around here in a long time and I'm dying to just kiss you" it wasn't a request, but it was a way to get her acknowledgement that I'm about to lean in on her and she only has a few seconds to say something... But again, in every situation I always felt like it was my responsibility to take initiative...
blueskyday Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 In this day and age, you must have explicit consent to kiss or touch someone in ways beyond the polite social level. If you've read her body language correctly, I would say that constitutes a high level of consent. State your intention by saying "I want to kiss you, or shall we kiss?" Wait for her to nod, say yes, or move towards a kiss. She will already be wanting it, if you read her earlier signals correctly. I agree with the poster who suggested a first kiss during the date, not just at the end. The sweetest first kiss I ever received happened in a theater while we were waiting for a movie to begin. We were laughing and joking. He looked at me and said he didn't think he could sit next to me for two hours without kissing me. He said it was driving him mad. I smiled and leaned in for a quick chaste kiss. It was perfect and low pressure. Later, when we kissed more, he felt familiar, and I felt comfortable. Also, asking a woman during the course of escalating physical contact, "Is this ok?" is always respectful. There is nothing worse than having a guy I haven't even touched or been touched by all night suddenly grabbing me and kissing me. It's not romantic. I wish I could tell guys to simply get close, hold hands, touch her arm, etc to get her used to you in her space. Maybe a nice close hug and a lingering closed mouth kiss at the end of the date. Very hot and sweet. 2
Wewon Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 I have no sympathy for women who have to fend off unwanted kisses or don't get a kiss when they want it. If you expect the guy to read signs, mistakes can and will be made. I agree, its one thing to have a preference that the guy lead it, its another to have a rigid, hardcore unforgiving entitlement of it. It also doesn't help the fact that the argument is also a built in exemption from having to take action herself. As someone once said, "I knew everything about parenting until I had kids" I guess the statement is true, "For the person that doesn't have to do it, nothing is a problem." LoL! 3
seekingluck Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 My biggest "first kiss" beef is guys who try to lead with their tongue. Now I am generally more ok with a surprise closed mouth kiss. The problem is it is off putting when a guy you have barely touched tries to jump into a make out session. So annoying. I keep running into these hyper aggrssive guys. I had one guy lean in for a kiss, and kept it closed. He joked he couldn't resist because I was so cute. In some ways I'd prefer if someone asks. But the best route is to gradually escalate the physical contact so I'll be aching for it. 1
Thinky Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 So, i had a first date a couple of weeks ago and it was going all very nicely, then date guy leans in and says, 'i really want to kiss you' which was actually kinda ooooooooooh, nice! but we were in a brightly lit pub and i said, 'that would be nice, but not here, not now...' so we left and he said, 'i want to take you down this really beautiful passageway, a secret way down to the centre of the city.' We got there shortly, and he'd started holding my hand on the way, but by this point it was such a lovely deserted and romantic location i just pulled him in towards me and planted one on him without asking! so, what im saying is, the way he asked me (which no-one has ever done before) actually made me want to kiss him more, i knew it was coming and it was awesome knowing he really wanted to but we hadnt yet.... ) 3
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 I would never kiss on the first date. Never. As a general rule. BUT, I like it when a man asks me before he kisses me. He already knows what he wants to do and has the confidence to do it, to me it's a sign of respect and just to " check" if you're okay with it. It's nice. What's wrong with that?
Maggie4 Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 First date: If I go on a blind date, and I don't find the guy attractive, I certainly wouldn't want to kiss on the lips. Better if he asked, "can I have a kiss?" then I can decide to do a light peck on the cheek, or more, depending on how much I like him.
littlez360 Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 I think making it happen at the right moment, unexpected but welcomed, has gotten better responses for me than actually asking for permission in any way. If you can't read her body language and have to ask if you can kiss her, then a kiss is probably as far as you're going to end up with her. Later on are you going to ask her if you can take her panties off?
Author IronZ Posted November 28, 2015 Author Posted November 28, 2015 I agree, its one thing to have a preference that the guy lead it, its another to have a rigid, hardcore unforgiving entitlement of it. It also doesn't help the fact that the argument is also a built in exemption from having to take action herself. As someone once said, "I knew everything about parenting until I had kids" I guess the statement is true, "For the person that doesn't have to do it, nothing is a problem." LoL! That quote couldn't be more perfect lol. It's funny but different people will tell you contradicting things in this thread. Either way you're bound to screw up eventually because you didn't do it the way that specific person expected it. I guess we're all supposed to be mind readers.
Qboro90 Posted November 28, 2015 Posted November 28, 2015 I think it's so strange if a guy thinks he's got to ask to kiss a girl. I've always been able to read the girls body language and interest if I'm with her and have never been pushed away or denied if it was a date and I went in for the kiss. Now that's not saying I've kissed every girl I went on a date with. I went on plenty where I could tell she wasn't feeling it and didn't even bother at the end of the date. Lean in kiss on the cheek goodnight and that's that. Asking "I want to kiss you, is that ok" in my opinion expresses weakness and low self confidence. I might be wrong but I'd think a girl would react with "um, well kinda awkward you asked me that". Two reasons. 1. If they don't want to kiss you then they're immediately faced with telling you no and hurting your feelings therefore making it very uncomfortable 2. Most girls want to feel that a guy can pick up on their body language and interest and take the lead with confidence instead of having to hold their hand and reassure them that it's ok. The only thing I ever did which I don't think every guy can do is make it a playful question if I already know what the answer is going to be , yes. Sometimes I'd go for a walk near the water after my dates and while holding hands and talking I'd stop and say "sorry, I'm a little distracted, been dying to kiss you this entire time so I don't know if we can keep going until I get one" with a light hearted and playful delivery... Always worked for me but I understand that you need a certain type of personality to get away with that. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 30, 2015 Posted November 30, 2015 Honestly, if you have to ask the question then perhaps you shouldn't be kissing on the first date.
RecentChange Posted November 30, 2015 Posted November 30, 2015 Hum, can't say I have ever been asked for a kiss, but I have certainly turned a cheek to some who were NOT going to be getting a kiss! I have to say, when of my hottest "first kisses" was when I asked for permission - we were in a pretty crowded space, being flirty, and I said "if we weren't on this crowded train I would want to kiss you right now" he said, "you can" - and it was on! Generally, if he leans in / gives all of the body launage, and I am into him, I will intiate a kiss. It's the dudes that lean in, and then ignore all of the NO body launage that should maybe think about asking first.... And I agree with others, why wait till the end of the date? Just go with the flow and not schedules.
SwordofFlame Posted November 30, 2015 Posted November 30, 2015 Honestly, if you have to ask the question then perhaps you shouldn't be kissing on the first date. That works for most women. Than you have the ones that don't know how to flirt or are socially awkward coming on here and posting about why their date didn't kiss them.
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 30, 2015 Posted November 30, 2015 That works for most women. Than you have the ones that don't know how to flirt or are socially awkward coming on here and posting about why their date didn't kiss them. Well that's because men need to learn how to read women's minds for heaven's sake! Didn't you guys get the freakin' memo?? Seriously, I get it but it goes both ways my friend. 'Tis the dance between men and women. Gotta love it.
Redhead14 Posted December 1, 2015 Posted December 1, 2015 I'm speaking of kissing of course. Smooching. Planting one on her. Ladies, strictly on the first date, would you prefer a man to ask for a kiss at the end or to just go for it? I know most of you will say go for it because it's so much more romantic, but what if there hasn't been any buildup to that? I feel that unless there's some flirty or physical connection during the date, that it's weird to just slap your lips on hers at the end. On a personal level I've had success with both. I just wanted to get another perspective on this. If you feel you have to ask her, she doesn't want you to kiss her . . . And, you're right. If she isn't flirty or giving any signs or signals during the date, don't try.
thecrucible Posted December 1, 2015 Posted December 1, 2015 Asking my permission to kiss me? You mean, like, a 'grown-up' version of "Mother, May I"?!? Nahhh. I'd prefer a man who's enough in-tune with social cues that he's [correctly] read my signs that I-am-more-than-interested in him kissing me. I couldn't put it any other way. A socially clued up man should get the gist of when is the right time to make a move and when is not appropriate. I find asking a 'turn off' as it makes me feel like I'm his mother. Also as someone else implied, you don't just go in for the kiss! A guy should do the slow build up and gradually escalate contact until it happens naturally. I've never been a fan of guy just planting one of me out of the blue.
RecentChange Posted December 1, 2015 Posted December 1, 2015 I will say ... Not so much for kissing, but in college I got with a couple different college age guys who def. had the whole "consent" thing hammered into them... he unbuttons my pants... "Is this okay?" - little "check in" (like they teach these days!) like that - which I really didn't mind, not a big deal, and he is covering his ass.
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