NathanJ Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 Hello to everyone, I'm having hard time coping with my break up. We broke up 7 months ago. Me and my ex gf were together for almost 2 years, just a lil while before we broke up we scheduled to get engaged for the big step...we were living together and were 24/7 together. We had a major fight pretty violent (sentimental) that resorted to our break up. (both our fault) I tried to reestablish contact and relations with her for about 1 to 1.5 months..but she was very aggressive to my tries. I apologized to her for my mistakes since i had time to think about what i have done, at some things she was right at some she didn't. But she attacked me at all my efforts pretty badly. Well i decided to let it go...and i went full NC. But i got one more last hit. I found out that she found another guy in just one month after our break up. That really killed me. She posted photos with her and him at public at her profile (she never posts public). Anyhow i just kept moving forward...i gave time for myself, fitness, reading, trips etc. Things were going pretty well actually for me...till she started texting me and phoning me to found out if im good and well. At the start i was answering her that im good and wishing the best for her also but i told her not to contact me again. She continued to send me every month..1-3 messages and some times phone calls. Some times her messages were plain some times sentimental (that she thinks about me etc). Before 2 months when she found out that i was going pretty well and even i may had some new relationship she texted me that she is really happy for me and she wont text me again. I didnt text her back ofc. Well she did and i didn't respond again. She send an aggressive message that wants some questions answered. Ofc i didn't respond again. She even posted after a week a song in public. Her last texts were send at weekends - she never texts at weekends. Anyway all this makes me wonder some times. Why is she acting like this ? Its been 7 months, i know its not from guilts she is not that kind of person. And im pretty well and more fit than ever before to feel bad about me.
PegNosePete Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 Who cares? Block her in every way possible including social media, phone, calls, text messages, emails etc. Her weirdness is not your problem any more.
Author NathanJ Posted November 25, 2015 Author Posted November 25, 2015 Well i know its not my problem any more but i just wonder what is this about. And she is way too stubborn selfish to be more clear. And i know she is still with the new guy still. I just wonder what you guys have to say about it
ExpatInItaly Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 Well i know its not my problem any more but i just wonder what is this about. And she is way too stubborn selfish to be more clear. And i know she is still with the new guy still. I just wonder what you guys have to say about it She likes you knowing you still want/wanted her. It's an ego thing.
Author NathanJ Posted November 25, 2015 Author Posted November 25, 2015 She likes you knowing you still want/wanted her. It's an ego thing. But the last months she is not gettin any reaction from me and why bother for me ? She can get plenty attention but from she is not
PegNosePete Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 Why are you even wasting your brain power thinking about this? NC her and move on.
Author NathanJ Posted November 25, 2015 Author Posted November 25, 2015 Well im full NC but still i would like an estimate about that behavior, what you would think in case of that
PegNosePete Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 I think you shouldn't care why she is acting how she is. Maybe she is on drugs. Who cares? Why are you so desperate to understand her? She is your EX.
Author NathanJ Posted November 25, 2015 Author Posted November 25, 2015 For the moment i have to fulfill my curiosity
ExpatInItaly Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 Well im full NC but still i would like an estimate about that behavior, what you would think in case of that So she can see if you'll be the fall-back option/Plan B/whatever you want to call it, in case her new relationship doesn't work out.
Author NathanJ Posted November 25, 2015 Author Posted November 25, 2015 Sounds like her new rl is a rebound but i doubt she seems so happy
marky00 Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 Your not likely to get an answer now. Maintain NC primarily for your healing with the secondary benefit being that that's the only way your ever going to get the answer. One day when all the dust has settled an enough water has passed under the bridge, the answer may present itself.
Author NathanJ Posted November 25, 2015 Author Posted November 25, 2015 I feel that she wants to say something but she doesn't say it. And i'm not responding to gibberish, if she wants something from me she has to say it clearly and maybe, i say maybe ill answer. She acting like she hasn't move on but from the looks of it, she has. Thats pretty messed up
PegNosePete Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 She acting like she hasn't move on but from the looks of it, she has. YOU are acting like you haven't moved on.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 I feel that she wants to say something but she doesn't say it. And i'm not responding to gibberish, if she wants something from me she has to say it clearly and maybe, i say maybe ill answer. She acting like she hasn't move on but from the looks of it, she has. Thats pretty messed up Neither of you have moved on. But given her recent behaviour, it's a good thing you're not her boyfriend anymore. Stay NC with her. You'll find someone who truly wants to be with you. She isn't it. 2
Author NathanJ Posted November 25, 2015 Author Posted November 25, 2015 I never say i did. I do love her trying to get better but that doesn't mean i stopped caring for her. I take my time slowly thats what i always do, it takes me some time but i do move on, and talking about it some times helps me.
Confusioncreepsin Posted November 25, 2015 Posted November 25, 2015 You will never know why she is doing this, even if you put wonder women's golden lasso on her to tell the truth. It could be that she misses you, it could be that she is wanting to see if you COULD be a Plan B. It could be that she is on something, or simply evil to play games with your head. In any regard, you should not let this consume your thoughts since SHE may not even know why she is doing things like this. Keep NC and don't respond to her breadcrumbs, questions etc. Yes, the minor ego stroke you are getting feels great but wears off quick, which is why you are trying to ask why why why, hoping to read into her messages that HOPE is still alive. Hope is a demon that needs to be contained or disposed. If she wanted you back, she would say that. If she was seriously concerned about your wellbeing, she would move a mountain to come to you. She is not. Do not fool yourself reading more into her intent than what is actually there....nothing. Continue NC, and if the messages are bothering you block her. Trust me, if she escalates and wants you back, she will do everything she can to be there. Don't rely on a text to do it either. A lot can happen over 7 months, she may be damaged goods now because of a relationship she had while you were split up. Don't be that guy...Do not be a orbiter or emotional tampon for her to reach out to.
Author NathanJ Posted November 25, 2015 Author Posted November 25, 2015 She was already damaged goods when she entered a new RL, she didn't have time to confront her problems regarding relationships. I don't respond to her, i could but i dont. Im in a better position and i fight my urges. I do miss her im not gonna lie, i sincerely loved her but when she moved on so quickly that really killed me. I felt she was my wife the last month we were together, and when she was with another guy i felt betrayed. I may have some issues like everyone else, i may do stupid things and mistakes from time to time but i do know how to love sincere.
Author NathanJ Posted November 26, 2015 Author Posted November 26, 2015 Any thoughts or similar experiences ?
Author NathanJ Posted December 1, 2015 Author Posted December 1, 2015 She send again..."how are you?" Whats her deal.
PegNosePete Posted December 1, 2015 Posted December 1, 2015 What's your deal, that you give 2 short ships what she texts you?
Author NathanJ Posted December 2, 2015 Author Posted December 2, 2015 Im just curious and ask for opinions, whats the possibilities for this behavior
Author NathanJ Posted December 15, 2015 Author Posted December 15, 2015 She texted again asking why all this happened and that questions still bothers her. She is still in relationship and happy. Why whould anyone that moved on still wonder why they split with their ex ?
eyeam Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 I'm going throught the same thing right now. Only it was initially my fault for reaching out months ago.. Same thing "I'm very happy" etc etc etc. Do yourself A favour and don't read her messages and block her... It'll literally drive you insane overthinking it all. I got to a point where I woke up one morning and literally didn't give a f*ck. Don't let her have anymore power over you. It sounds like a rebound? Keeping you on the back burner? .. She's bonkers? All of which are ****ty reasons. Even if she is with someone else.. She clearly hasn't moved on. It's not even worth thinking about. I just got so so bored of the bs. Work on yourself and dating and eventually finding someone who appreciates you for you. It'll happen.. When it does - you really will be indifferent to it all.
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