How many new people do you date a year?

[Oregon_Dude]

I went 8 first dates this year; not one resulted in a relationship. I'd give back every one of those dates for one long term relationship.

Dude. I've been on 20-30 first dates within the last few months.

 

If you're bummed about 8 first dates not resulting in a r/s, your expectations are just totally unrealistic. This sh*t takes YEARS.

[PaperCrane]

Wow, I must be completely undesirable or something, I think last year I went on...3-4 first dates. This year was 2.

 

Everyone around here automatically assumes "OH MY GOD RELATIONSHIP" if they get asked on a date. It's exhausting.

[Oregon_Dude]

Wow, I must be completely undesirable or something, I think last year I went on...3-4 first dates. This year was 2.

Nope, you're just selective.

 

Trust me, there are dates I should not have gone on this year

[oberkeat]

Dude. I've been on 20-30 first dates within the last few months.

 

If you're bummed about 8 first dates not resulting in a r/s, your expectations are just totally unrealistic. This sh*t takes YEARS.

 

I didn't meet 20-30 women I was interested in dating. I would have had to drop my standards way low to come close to that number.

[Oregon_Dude]

I didn't meet 20-30 women I was interested in dating. I would have had to drop my standards way low to come close to that number.

This is a nice burn.

 

I can tell you that they all *seemed* cool before meeting them. And I never *intentionally* went out with an overweight girl.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Nope, you're just selective.

 

Trust me, there are dates I should not have gone on this year

 

Exactly.

 

Some people enjoy staying busy and going a million first dates while others get tired of it. That's where I ended up. After a while they all ended up looking and feeling the same. That's usually the time when you should take a step back and reassess things especially WHY you're dating in the first place.

 

Being selective isn't a crime. If anything, it's admirable in my opinion especially these days.

[Oregon_Dude]

After a while they all ended up looking and feeling the same. That's usually the time when you should take a step back and reassess things especially WHY you're dating in the first place.

This is so true.

 

After my breakup (early August), I had a gap to fill. I needed some kind confirmation that I was attractive and worthy. External validation. I went on a million dates. Some of them even went well. One woman I was interested in felt the same about me. Then she moved to Seattle (supposedly).

 

Yes - I had so many dates where I literally sat at the same table at a coffeeshop, doing the who-what-where. If I have to do that again, I'll f*cking kill myself. I have finally reached a place (four months later) where a night in doesn't seem loser-ish to me. I am just as content reading a good book as I am going on a date.

 

It's obvious that you shouldn't date to fill a void, but let's be honest. Many of us are doing just that. We feel the void of love in our lives. Yes, one should always be complete before attempting to add a partner in our lives. Is anyone, though? That is the catch-22; most of us feel subconsciously incomplete if we're not in a loving r/s. Which is why we're dating in the first place. So all this noise about being 100% before you date is actually impossible.

 

Anyway. 2016 is going to be great. This has been such a rough year for me, I'm not afraid of anything.

[joseb]

From OLD: zero. Ever!

Only ever found 2 attractive women that replied and neither lead to anything.

 

Tinder 2 one of these I'm still seeing

 

Real life. 3 or 4

 

I dunno how people find time or energy for weekly first dates. I like going out weekly and meeting people but not on organised dates. Find it all a bit tiring.

[neowulf]

My friends tell me I need to "date more, relationship less".

 

I find it pretty easy to end up in steady relationships. Realistically, I've learnt I should be be more mindful about this and try to focus on continuing to search until I've found what I'm looking for.

 

I'm with the posters above who suggest "quality over quantity". Time and energy are limited. You don't want to end up burning yourself out, meeting 100 people who simply aren't ever going to be a good fit.

[Myragal]

Wow, I must be completely undesirable or something, I think last year I went on...3-4 first dates. This year was 2.

 

Everyone around here automatically assumes "OH MY GOD RELATIONSHIP" if they get asked on a date. It's exhausting.

 

Really? I'm surprised you equate a date with a relationship. I don't and don't know anyone who does.

 

The only people I know who were in a relationship after a date were in grade 9.

[paigej91]

How many people do I go on dates with in a year? I'm not counting, but ~15-25. Most of these don't lead to much of anything, though. I have 1 or 2 men per year that I'm genuinely interested in.

[DoesntGetIt]

Probably the wrong title but what I mean is, those using OLD and other methods, how many new people do you end up going on dates with in a typical year?

 

So far this year I have met up with one person and had one date, I am guessing that number is very low but would be interested to hear how others do.

 

after time had passed with my separation/leading to divorce (now divorced fully) I went through a phase where in 6 months I went out on dates with 6 people, and had possibilities for more. One of the people I had a fling for a couple months and another one I dated exclusively for a couple of months.

 

Now I'm a couple months into dating a person, but if it were to end, I'd go right back out there and get some more dates.

 

 

Finding dates isn't hard, finding people worth dating is.

[loveweary11]

Exactly.

 

Some people enjoy staying busy and going a million first dates while others get tired of it. That's where I ended up. After a while they all ended up looking and feeling the same. That's usually the time when you should take a step back and reassess things especially WHY you're dating in the first place.

 

Being selective isn't a crime. If anything, it's admirable in my opinion especially these days.

 

Exactly where I am right now.

 

So utterly bored of all women. It's a long train where every car looks exactly the same. Doesn't matter if it's progress to serious dating, ONS, whatever, it's all the same.

 

Stepping back a bit right now to reassess, just as described here.

 

Really hoping to go to Art Basel with my friend this year, instead of one of the potentials/hookups. Hope she comes out from CA for it. She's 19, not working much so she is feeling like she may not be able to afford it.

 

But what a refreshing change it would be to go with a very pretty girl who can get you into literally any event (via looks) who you DON'T need to impress and are NOT trying to sleep with.., because she's your friend and she feels like hanging out with your sister. Just the sheer change of pace... time to think about what I'm trying to accomplish dating, while enjoying the company of someone I have a great time with.

 

Definitely taking a little break though.

[TunaCat]

Zero. Zilch. Nada.

 

I've been single now for just about 8 months and officially put myself back on the market 2 months ago.

 

No dates. None.

 

Considering the only guy I've ever even had a first date with is my ex, I gotta wonder if there's something wrong with me.

[guest569]

8 last year

3 this year

 

Majority of which were first meetings. Guess you could say 4 of them were relationships.

[SandraTempleton]

Let's look at my stats because why not:

Met through mutual friends:

1 eight week long very intensely emotional relationship with a hot foreigner

Met through the dating app coffee meets bagel:

1 first date where we both agree we were feeling the friend vibe only. Never talked to him again.

1 first date where I left not feeling it and he asked for a 2nd date.

3 dates with an attractive but unavailable surgical resident.

3 dates with an army jag who was very sweet but didn't stir any longings in my loins.

4 dates with a software guy who disappeared on me, recently he tried to add me on Facebook despite us not speaking since June.

3 dates with a guy from near my hometown. Turns out conservative men that remind me of my dad/brother in law don't do it for me.

1 missed vacation fling with a hot divorcée on my Thailand trip, should've taken him up on the offer to go back to his room. Was still pining over a certain South American.

And most recently a date with a dentist who is one of the nicest guys I've met. Here's hoping for a follow up!

[hippychick3]

I went on gazillions of first dates. Probably 50 per year.

 

This was me until I met current bf. I had a few short-term relationships (1 1/2-2mos) but nothing that was meaningful until I met him.

 

It was fun but exhausting. I was definitely filling a void at the time. The days I didn't have my children with me (when they were with their dad) was very difficult for me. I couldn't be home alone. However, now I LOVE my alone time and savor every moment.

[PaperCrane]

Really? I'm surprised you equate a date with a relationship. I don't and don't know anyone who does.

 

The only people I know who were in a relationship after a date were in grade 9.

 

Yeah, honestly it feels weird. It probably is just normal rejection, and I take it as such, however I don't know why they choose to throw that word around at the offer of a coffee date.

[Miss Peach]

I usually reserve 2-3 days per week for dating or group social activities (such as FB groups, meetups, etc.) when I'm single. It's not uncommon for me to have 3-5+ guys wanting to date me at any given time - especially if I'm on OLD too. So probably 30+ per year if I were single the entire year.

 

The thing is I really LOVE my alone time so not many of these guys get past 1-2 dates. My current BF is the first in three years to get past 10 or so dates.

[WomenWubber]

2 or 3 a year.

 

I find dating exhausting to be honest and I love being single.

[PaperCrane]

The thing is I really LOVE my alone time so not many of these guys get past 1-2 dates. My current BF is the first in three years to get past 10 or so dates.

 

I feel that way as well. I enjoy my time alone doing my hobbies and whatnot. Finding someone who can respect that and as time goes on, be able to be alone together (I know that sounds counter-intuitive to some) is an important factor to me.

 

As an introvert I enjoy being around or with people; but if I feel drained from doing so I won't spend as much time around them. So if I can recharge while also being around this person, I know it's a solid match for me.

[sportygirl89]

I had three guys I went on dates with from 2013-2015. This year and will be a year in December I've dated 0 guys. Too focused on my program. No guy is going to help me pass my boards!! Rough break up with ex in 2013.

[GravityMan]

Wow, I must be completely undesirable or something, I think last year I went on...3-4 first dates. This year was 2.

 

Everyone around here automatically assumes "OH MY GOD RELATIONSHIP" if they get asked on a date. It's exhausting.

 

Don't worry so much about other people's "dating frequency"...it doesn't really mean much, they're just sharing their experiences. It has very little to do with their so-called "level of desirability". Some people just like to date often and have the time to do so. (I tend to frown on threads like this because of the risk of reactions like yours, but the OP's just curious so no biggie. Comparing yourself to others is a recipe for unhappiness.)

 

Being selective and discerning is smart and a very good quality to have in life.

 

As long as you're regularly getting out of the house, having a decent attitude, looking presentable and socializing...dating opportunities should and almost surely will organically come whether it's 3 a year or 30 a year. Location may also make a difference. (Not including OLD.)

 

Finding people worth continuing dating beyond the first 1-3 dates is much harder.

[thecrucible]

I feel that way as well. I enjoy my time alone doing my hobbies and whatnot. Finding someone who can respect that and as time goes on, be able to be alone together (I know that sounds counter-intuitive to some) is an important factor to me.

 

As an introvert I enjoy being around or with people; but if I feel drained from doing so I won't spend as much time around them. So if I can recharge while also being around this person, I know it's a solid match for me.

 

Hey PaperCrane,

 

I'm the same as you. I like being around people but I find a lot of dates draining, so I don't go on too many. This year I've been on several dates with 3 prospects. I should probably up my game a lot. I believe in quality over quantity though. I wouldn't go out with someone just for the sake of going on a date if I knew instinctively that we weren't right for each other.

 

Also I hear you on the "Oh my God relationship" front. I'm quite slow to get attached and if I get the sense that they're attached too quickly or are just looking for a relationship with any woman at all, then it's a turn off.

[IronZ]

I've been on a lot this year. I think the issue stems from either a lack of connection (obviously going to be the case with OLD meetups) or the girl will not be looking for anything long term. I'd have to say I dated at least 30+ girls this year alone. Here's to finding that right person in the next decade or two.