Social Media: The Good & The Bad

[truth_seeker]

I don't see it as creepy at all. I see it as being smart and sensible. Checking it regularly, yeah that is creepy, but just finding out some basic information? I don't see any fault with that, only benefits.

 

Exactly.

 

My only worry, the person finds out I checked out their social media profiles.

[ASG]

My FB almost only has pics of me drinking or on nights out. Because I don't tend to take pictures myself and rely of my friends, which usually happens on nights out.

 

So that is not necessarily ME. Just what happens to be documented.

 

However, all of my profile is private if we're not friends, so you could search all you wanted and my FB wouldn't even show up on google! And if you DID find me, you'd see nothing but my profile pic and cover photo.

[truth_seeker]

My FB almost only has pics of me drinking or on nights out. Because I don't tend to take pictures myself and rely of my friends, which usually happens on nights out.

 

So that is not necessarily ME. Just what happens to be documented.

 

You're comfortable with pics of you being drunk and wasted plastered all over Facebook? It's just not your page but also other people who are tagged in the photo. Your profile may be private but what about your friends? Their profiles could be public, and they could have 1000 or more friends who can see them.

[phineas]

I got tired of women frauding me with their profile pics.

I find them on facebook using their name, city, phone number, email and whatever other info they give me so I could see if they really looked like their pics.

 

I was shocked to find out some women had BF's or were married.

[losangelena]

I think it's totally normal to look someone up before you go out with them. I also agree that it's impossible to tell every facet of one's personality based off the info on their fb page or what not. Unless I was thoroughly creeped out by something I saw, I would still meet up with the guy. My baseline is to assume the best of someone, and usually it doesn't take long for a bad side to reveal itself if there is one (say, one or two dates). I personally like to keep my online research low.

 

I agree with the posters who have said that typical what gets throw up on social media are the "good times," and that those photos may not be representative of their whole lifestyle. I mean, what kind of photos should a non-partying, well-educated person have of themselves? Ones where they're reading or something? At the library?

[ASG]

You're comfortable with pics of you being drunk and wasted plastered all over Facebook? It's just not your page but also other people who are tagged in the photo. Your profile may be private but what about your friends? Their profiles could be public, and they could have 1000 or more friends who can see them.

 

There are very few pics of me DRUNK anywhere. There are MANY pics of me DRINKING.

 

Plus, again with the privacy thing... No one can see my tagged pictures. People can tag me, but only I see it. If we're not friends and you go to my Photos thing there are LITERALLY only a couple profile pictures and a couple of cover photos.

 

The whole "ASG was tagged in a post/picture" thing does not happen with my setting.

 

As for having my pics on friends' profiles... There are no pics that are inappropriate. And as I said, without the tagging thing, you might have to look hard to find me!

[losangelena]

There are very few pics of me DRUNK anywhere. There are MANY pics of me DRINKING.

 

Plus, again with the privacy thing... No one can see my tagged pictures. People can tag me, but only I see it. If we're not friends and you go to my Photos thing there are LITERALLY only a couple profile pictures and a couple of cover photos.

 

The whole "ASG was tagged in a post/picture" thing does not happen with my setting.

 

As for having my pics on friends' profiles... There are no pics that are inappropriate. And as I said, without the tagging thing, you might have to look hard to find me!

 

I'm the same way. I'm not even on FB anymore, but when I was, I had that sh*t on lockdown. And it's for exactly the reasons we're discussing here. Too much can be extrapolated via one's online profiles, and you can bet I would rather not risk a potential employer or a potential love interest see something and misinterpret as a sign that I'd be a bad employee or a bad GF. There's hardly anything questionable to see, but still.

[truth_seeker]

I got tired of women frauding me with their profile pics.

I find them on facebook using their name, city, phone number, email and whatever other info they give me so I could see if they really looked like their pics.

 

I was shocked to find out some women had BF's or were married.

 

Isn't the OLD trick for heavy set women to either have pics from long distance or close ups from the neck up?

[truth_seeker]

There are very few pics of me DRUNK anywhere. There are MANY pics of me DRINKING.

 

Plus, again with the privacy thing... No one can see my tagged pictures. People can tag me, but only I see it. If we're not friends and you go to my Photos thing there are LITERALLY only a couple profile pictures and a couple of cover photos.

 

The whole "ASG was tagged in a post/picture" thing does not happen with my setting.

 

As for having my pics on friends' profiles... There are no pics that are inappropriate. And as I said, without the tagging thing, you might have to look hard to find me!

 

Are you sure about this? If you have mutual friends you can. Lets say you and I have one mutual friend. I would be able to see you if you're tagged in their pics.

[truth_seeker]

I was shocked to find out some women had BF's or were married.

 

Not surprised in the least bit. There are women, and men, out there living double lives.

[ASG]

Are you sure about this? If you have mutual friends you can. Lets say you and I have one mutual friend. I would be able to see you if you're tagged in their pics.

 

Nope. I am ABSOLUTELY sure. Just checked, actually, on another friend's profile who has the same setting. We have several mutual friends who HAVE tagged him in pics (I know as they showed up on my News Feed when it happened), but if I go to HIS profile, I can't see them.

 

That is the whole point of "ONLY ME". No one else can see it.

[Woon]

You have to take the information with a grain of salt. While it may be valuable. It may also only paint a one sided picture.

 

 

I wouldn't make decisions only on what I saw on social media but that information could go into the mix.

 

I agree with this. Met a very nice girl a while back. Asked her out and she said yes. We went out and everywhere we went people recognised her, which was a bit odd. We get along incredibly well and have went out on a few dates already.

 

So i decided to check her FB page. Turns out shes friends with alot of celebs and a well known sociolite. Dj's bands etc.

 

Now the reason we get along so well is that i didnt know and didnt care about any of that. Still dont. But i do think i would have behaved diffirently if i knew. So not knowing anything before hand and getting to know her as we went out worked out incredibly well for me.

[truth_seeker]

Nope. I am ABSOLUTELY sure. Just checked, actually, on another friend's profile who has the same setting. We have several mutual friends who HAVE tagged him in pics (I know as they showed up on my News Feed when it happened), but if I go to HIS profile, I can't see them.

 

That is the whole point of "ONLY ME". No one else can see it.

 

Gotch 'ya

[Ic1]

An interesting social media effect on dating for me today:

 

Changed my 'status' to in a relationship with my girlfriend because we decided we would be exclusive to each other. I had no idea that little change would post the event with a photo of me and her. Incredibly popular with so many comments and likes from both of our friends! Sort of annoying because many of her friends are inspecting me now?

[Oregon_Dude]

I think that on the whole, Facebook specifically is detrimental to relationships. I've learned from trial and error that I will no longer "add" someone I'm dating. Reason being that after the demise of these relationships, I had to go perform a relationship autopsy on my profile, systematically removing all comments and photos from not one, but two chicks over just the last year.

 

Secondly, the temptation to engage with members of the opposite sex in a flirtatious manner via FB becomes overwhelming, for women specifically. The technology creates opportunities to cheat and preserves the illusion of someone "better" being out there... a woman can dump a guy and have several "suitors" lined up already from FB alone.

 

Lastly, FB is a big f*cking lie on which everyone pretends to have the perfect life, creating mass dissatisfaction as we all compare ourselves to each other. So if you and your GF are dating happily, but she gets all caught up and sad about some chick's wedding, all of a sudden you ain't putting a ring on it, and are an a**hole.

 

I have locked down my FB page and only use it to advertise my creative projects. I think it is a cancer on love and collectively worse than Ashley Madison.

Edited November 23, 2015 by Oregon_Dude

[Samhain]

Buddy, if you've read my other posts and others no one is saying we're judging a person's entire persona on social media. You're use of the word "creepy" makes no sense here. How is it "creepy" to form an opinion or have a bad impression of you?

 

IMHO - posting pictures for the world to see of you drunk and acting like an idiot make you look immature and low class. It does say something about you - not as a whole, but it does say something about you.

 

Wasn't answering you, was answering kelsey, which was why I quoted him/her in my post.

 

 

I was stating that I personally find it creepy, especially if it's someone who you don't even know the surname of, therefore clearly don't know them well to start with. If you did, she probably wouldn't care what you thought of her for a start, and secondly, probably wasn't looking for anything serious with you either. Or you'd have known her surname, been on her facebook, and wouldn't be referring to her as "this woman from the past".

 

I don't post public pictures, and I don't think there's anything wrong with posting pictures of me and my buddies having a good time, you can assume whatever you want from the pics but that's not a true story of what's actually behind the pics.

 

So no it doesn't say anything about "you" other than you have a social life and have fun when you're not working hard with your job and education. Maybe you just took issue with the fact she had pics up of her and "other guys" as you said. Again, I doubt she cares.

[truth_seeker]

I was stating that I personally find it creepy, especially if it's someone who you don't even know the surname of, therefore clearly don't know them well to start with. If you did, she probably wouldn't care what you thought of her for a start, and secondly, probably wasn't looking for anything serious with you either. Or you'd have known her surname, been on her facebook, and wouldn't be referring to her as "this woman from the past".

 

This is where you and I differ: what you call "creepy" I would call curiosity. One of my friend's agrees with you. He thinks it's creepy, too. Yet this friend continually gets burned by women. He likes the "mystery" of getting to know the woman. That's great. 3-4 months down the road he's either calling the cops or getting a restraining order because he "solved the mystery" of these women - they're psycho's.

 

I told him if he just did a basic background check on Google, he might have seen something that could have fore warned him and not waste months invested into a head case.

 

It's like Tinder: I matched with one woman. I had her first name and it said on her profile what she did for work. I went on Facebook with that info, found out we had a mutual friend and discovered she had a boyfriend. According to you, what I did was creepy. I think what I did was smart. I found out right away to stay away from her.