Feelings for a close female friend and not sure what to do at this point

[CVnine]

I'm sorry man. I don't understand her words, though. She shouldn't be worried about the timing or what to say, because it's YOU who is having to suffer this. Obviously now it is impacting what she thought was just a good friendship, but she sounds somewhat selfish in her txts.

 

Sucks. And I know, love is almost cruel. The feeling of euphoria and the giddy school boy reaching for his phone to see what she just txtd.. I know it. And I also know the hollow feeling when losing it.

 

Stay strong man. Nothing else we can do. Hopefully time will help you two salvage this.

 

Well said about the feeling, that is how I have felt now every time I get a text wondering if it is her. Thank you very much, I appreciate it.

 

I agree, it does seem right now she is viewing this as being more about her and less about me.

 

I met up with one of her closest friends I am also mutual friends with last night and we kind of talked about everything. I know pretty much everything I said will get back to her, but it was all nice things so its not a big deal. Our mutual friend did say she texted her about it and told her she doesn't know what she will do because she is "conflicted". So I don't know if that is in regard to her current relationship or if it is our friendship. Her mutual friend in her own words likes me 1000x better than her current BF and hopes things work out for the best.

 

She texted very late last night saying she truly cares for me and she hopes I am doing ok. I haven't responded to it yet because I don't know how to yet but I may just send a quick text so she doesn't think I am intentional not responding say thanks I care for you too.

 

For now I will just keep contact with her but I have acceptable in the short term I might not be hanging out and talking to her much, sounds like she needs to sort things out and I don't want to pressure her on this.

[AnAsianGirl]

I'd say just be honest about it.

 

It can be embarrassing and they may say no. But at least you'll "know" and you can still be friends.

[CVnine]

We have talked once via text and once on the phone since my last post.

 

First she sent me a long series of texts saying she wants to talk on the phone or in person but to make sure everything comes out she wants to say she wanted to send me texts first.

 

Basically in the text she told me she loves me as her best friend and will never stop caring for me. She said when she said "the timing is just awful" she meant things in her current relationship have been the best they have been since it started. She also said because she cares for me like no other, she has been crying on and off the last few days because she feels "I am breaking your heart by not being able to feel the same way about you right now"

 

She also said there were times she loved me past friends back when I was in a relationship and it took a lot of self control not to tell me. She said she eventually got over it and started dating because I was happy in a relationship.

 

Our phone conversation was geared more to her asking how I was feeling and the state of our friendship. It was a pretty awkward conversation until the very end which makes me think our friendship is going to be awkward for a few weeks at the very least. We ended talking about some random things that happened years ago, early in our friendship. She said she really missed those days. We agreed we both might need some time over the next few weeks but she ended it saying "I'll text you and check up on you"

 

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't feeling heartbroken. I get it, she is in a relationship, what did I expect? Did I realistically think I would confess my heart to her and she'd just drop her relationship and jump into my arms? Sure there was this thought that her relationship was in shambles and she'd break up and eventually date me. I knew this wasn't realistic 90% of the the time but I just couldn't handle holding these feelings in anymore and it was preventing me from dating. I had to get them out.

 

I guess what really gets me and makes me feel so sad is that she actually felt this same way about me while I was in my past relationship. This wasn't even that long ago. I don't know how I would have reacted, but my relationship at that time wasn't doing so well, so who knows, maybe I would have left for her. So its not that we haven't had intimate feelings for each other, its that we never did at the same time. That just plain sucks, but its also part of life. Pure emotion while typing some of this post!

 

So I guess for now, that is it. Any suggestions on how I should cope with this short term? How can I eventually get my heart to move on?

 

I have had relationships end in the past, but this hurts more than any of them.

[CVnine]

I guess some good news is she wants to still go back to being best friends.

 

After really not talking for a few days at all, she texted me saying me asking how I have been feeling and saying over the past month she has missed not being close with her best friend. I told her I missed it as well and while I still need a little more time, I still want our friendship and closeness to continue.

 

I told her I had been working on getting back into the dating game and she said while she doubts I will need it she would help me if I want. We also talked about getting coffee at some point next week.

 

She ended the conversation saying we will both be fine and "we have been there for each other in the past and that this is no different. Chin up!"

 

So I guess the reason I started this thread and biggest fear has always been I would lose my best friend over this. It doesn't at least sound like that will happen.

 

I feel like I am coming out of a fog and putting myself back into dating has got my mind moving in the right direction.