Coping with Loving and Hating a Person at the Same Time Post Breakup

[ldridge12]

Here was the original thread of what happened to me:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/554884-i-messed-up-broke-no-contact-because-i-found-out-something-so-hurtful#post6613582

 

Two weeks since that incident, I'm doing fine. I've pretty much closed the door on her completely. But how can I feel so much hate, dislike and feel like my time was wasted and MISS and LOVE the person at the same time? How do I get over this?

 

What do you think she feels considering everything?

[Dylon]

But how can I feel so much hate, dislike and feel like my time was wasted and MISS and LOVE the person at the same time?

 

You miss the idea of love, in a relationship and all the potential. You loved this. You "hate" her. They are tied together because she's the most recent experience and it's on your mind. You can't separate the two yet because for the moment you can't visualize someone else to put those hopes and potential on. That will change. Don't worry.

[burnt]

Here was the original thread of what happened to me:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/554884-i-messed-up-broke-no-contact-because-i-found-out-something-so-hurtful#post6613582

 

Two weeks since that incident, I'm doing fine. I've pretty much closed the door on her completely. But how can I feel so much hate, dislike and feel like my time was wasted and MISS and LOVE the person at the same time? How do I get over this?

 

What do you think she feels considering everything?

 

I wish I could offer some advice; all I can say is that I can relate.

 

I spend hours and days constructing a million reasons for why I hate him; I feel angry and bitter; but it gives me some illusion of hope that maybe I'm getting over him.

Then it takes a few seconds to fall back into the pit again--and I realize: NO, I still love him and miss him; and then spend hours and days reconstructing and remembering a million reasons why I love him. And I feel weak and lost.

 

Then I repeat the cycle; ad nauseam; in silence.

 

I'm sorry for how you feel; I do hope you find a way to heal.

[Winesar21]

I am experiencing the same feelings. Four weeks later I still love him but hate him at the same time. He ended the relationship in a way he never said he would. I feel like k didn't know him at all. You probably miss the idea of her and being in a relationship. Focus your thoughts on positive things and stay busy. I often wonder what the dumper feels as well. I wish I knew.