Best girl ever, don't feel sexual attraction. Crawling Back to LoveShack

November 8, 2015

You can't keep away from each other, you felt some little urges but you are not physically attracted to her?

Sorry man, this makes no sense to me.

Whatever you do, please don't fabricate a potential physical attraction out of thin air - one or both of you will regret at a later stage. These things very rarely work out long term.

Can't keep away mentally.

I'm saying the more I'm getting to know her and appreciate her, i am having some slight hints of physical attraction develop outside my usual type.

I'm just slightly starting to see her hotness in a similar light as to my norm.

November 8, 2015

Would your theoretical dream girl spend an hour to do her makeup?

Did your last partner who did yoga spend that much time?

Maybe. I don't really care. Whatever she wants to do on that.

And yoga had a stunning face that just needed a little eye makeup. Naturally tan skin. perfectly even complexion. Very rare level of facial beauty, which is probably why she got stopped in South Beach for the magazine shoot and was on some TV shows.

November 8, 2015

LW

I can't understand how if she's not your type and your not physically attracted to her... how did you get to the point of knowing how great she was? If a guy wasn't my type.. I wouldn't even get to know how great a guy he was.

It seems that you've been deceiving her... by pretending that you find her to be your type. You're not sexually attracted to her...yet you've likely led her to believe you are.

Can you imagine if you broke up with her and told her why? She'd say..why did you waste my time.

It's crazy

Lots of late night texting. We are only dating, not living together. Only known each other a couple weeks.

We have hit on everything and are stunned at out sameness. We both are. I'm the only person she has ever experienced this with and vica versa.

November 8, 2015

Can't keep away mentally.

I'm saying the more I'm getting to know her and appreciate her, i am having some slight hints of physical attraction develop outside my usual type.

I'm just slightly starting to see her hotness in a similar light as to my norm.

It's too late for that though; you've already hooked up.

With all due respect, no amount of mental connection will make me sleep with a guy. I have friends for that kind of stuff.

November 8, 2015

Lots of late night texting. We are only dating, not living together. Only known each other a couple weeks.

We have hit on everything and are stunned at out sameness. We both are. I'm the only person she has ever experienced this with and vica versa.

LW ....no one has asked you this ... so I will.

You've known her two weeks and talk about lots of texting, late night.

You say you can't keep away *mentally*.

Have you actually met her IN PERSON?

Spent time together IN PERSON?

Everyone is presuming you have, but you never actually confirmed either way.....

My guess is no you have not .....but I could be wrong.

November 8, 2015

It's too late for that though; you've already hooked up.

With all due respect, no amount of mental connection will make me sleep with a guy. I have friends for that kind of stuff.

Where did he say they have hooked up? Or even met in person?

He never said whether they have or not.

If not, no big surprise. Would not be the first time he went ga ga for a chick he had never met in person...

November 8, 2015

Where did he say they have hooked up? Or even met in person?

He never said whether they have or not.

If not, no big surprise. Would not be the first time he went ga ga for a chick he had never met in person...

Post 28.....

November 8, 2015

Where did he say they have hooked up? Or even met in person?

He never said whether they have or not.

If not, no big surprise. Would not be the first time he went ga ga for a chick he had never met in person...

How could we have hooked up if I've never met her.

Duh...

Please point out an example of a girl i have never met that I felt strongly about.

Edited November 10, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

November 8, 2015

Post 28.....

Thnx Emily, missed that.

So he confirmed they "hooked up."

He said "there was nothing wrong with her in that sense."

How could he know that though, since he said penis didn't cooperate!

Doesn't sound like much of a hook up .... more like a potential hook.

But yet here they are still texting.... and he can't keep away from her mentally.

This whole situation sounds really bizarre to me...

Something is not jiving.

Just my spidey senses .... I could be wrong.

November 8, 2015

LW, please go back and reread your posts. All this mention of hotter girls chasing you, how you like the porn-star look, ect. I haven't read anything about how this girl pursues her goals or treats her friends and family, and so on. It comes across that "hawtness" is what you value first, second, third.

And all we know about this girl--besides her looks--is that she likes experiences over things, is a minimalist, and likes to travel. All good things, but character is much more than that. Especially because *lots* of young girls describe themselves as minimalists who like to travel.

I think you'd be better off on here if you didn't reveal so much. Just say you aren't sure of the physical chemistry and leave it at that, instead of going into so much detail about how she has to be a certain height and weight. These extra details you add don't serve you, as far as the quality of posts on your thread.

You're literally making that up. Selectively reading the posts to ignore the places throughout this thread where I've repeatedly, ad nauseum, said this girl was the most compatible I've ever met on a mental, lifestyle and emotional level.

I go on and on for 13 pages about how great of a person she is, while also saying I have a problem because she's not my physical type.

That's what this entire thread is about.

How could you possibly say I didn't, when it's all throughout the entire thread?

Purely selective reading on your part. Reading what you want to read, rather than what was written.

I have no idea why...

The yoga chick was a bizarre case. We spent weekends and weeks together on and off for 5 years. She was a bit of a party girl. Half the time we were drunk or something. She never once had the inclinations that finally came out when we lived and traveled together.

She hid them very well.

She has since apologized for all of that and is currently in Prague doing w.e. Hopefully, she has more time to reflect on her character out there.

This blonde is perfect in every sense of the word. There is nothing to talk about regarding her personality and character because it's not an issue. It's what draws me to her.

November 8, 2015

Please point out an example of a girl i have never met that I felt strongly about.

One last thing and to answer your question...^^

I can't cut and paste the quote cuz I am on my I-Phone ...but

On August 19th you started a thread called "The Loveweary Trainwreck."

Post number 1:

"I have met the woman of my dreams. We haven't met in person yet, but have been talking non-stop."

Blah blah blah how SHE was "the one."

You asked ....

Edited November 8, 2015 by katiegrl

November 9, 2015

LW, fwiw I can understand the psychological/emotional (non-physical) attraction - that's what's typically called 'romance.' While sexual attraction usually plays a role, it's indeed very possible to love someone intensely, romantically, without a strong physical-sexual attraction. (If that weren't true, all the 50 year marriage old timer couples who don't bang it out on the regular would be living lies, presumably.)

I do think you'd do well to give this a shot and see what develops, as long as in doing so you don't string her along. That means always be honest, and I think you're capable of that.

The only thing that concerns me is the implications of the age difference, but if both of you are ok w/that, go for it.

November 9, 2015

The only thing that concerns me is the implications of the age difference

I think that could be a problem too, LW. If you fall hard for her, you must know that at 22 she is highly likely to move on in the not distant future. That's in large part a function of the age. I know that you say you are a "for the moment" type of guy, but from other things you say, if you really get attached to her, in that respect I don't think you are.

November 9, 2015

LW, please go back and reread your posts. All this mention of hotter girls chasing you, how you like the porn-star look, ect. I haven't read anything about how this girl pursues her goals or treats her friends and family, and so on. It comes across that "hawtness" is what you value first, second, third.

And all we know about this girl--besides her looks--is that she likes experiences over things, is a minimalist, and likes to travel. All good things, but character is much more than that. Especially because *lots* of young girls describe themselves as minimalists who like to travel.

I think you'd be better off on here if you didn't reveal so much. Just say you aren't sure of the physical chemistry and leave it at that, instead of going into so much detail about how she has to be a certain height and weight. These extra details you add don't serve you, as far as the quality of posts on your thread.

Ah. i see.

I follow you now.

She's fine. There is nothing to go on and on about regarding her good stuff. That's why I'm so interested.

Look at it another way.

If this was "Fix Your Car Shack.org" and your car was overheating, would you spend any time discussing your fine leather upholstery? The great trunk space? The mileage you get?

Hell nah!

You'd be going on about the problem.

Same thing.

November 9, 2015

I think that could be a problem too, LW. If you fall hard for her, you must know that at 22 she is highly likely to move on in the not distant future. That's in large part a function of the age. I know that you say you are a "for the moment" type of guy, but from other things you say, if you really get attached to her, in that respect I don't think you are.

Yeah, this is something I accept about all relationships now.

They are all temporary.

Nothing is ever fun when it ends, but I don't care anymore after all my experience in life.

The ones I've invested in to the point of life long commitment didn't last a lifetime, so I no longer have that expectation at all.

I expect that 2 people live and grow and change.

Sometimes they change together, sometimes they change and drift apart.

As another comfort, if being single again after spending my entire life in serious relationships or married has taught me anything, it's that you can have a new girl to meet within like 24 hours of trying, so if one doesn't work out, there are half a planet more waiting.

I no longer worry there won't be another one. There are too masny, frankly. Not quality, for sure, but it's mind boggling trying to pick and choose between them.

Case in point, a girl from this summer is flying in today here with a group of girlfriends. Meeting her/them for a drink at noon. Ouch,

But I'll go, since who knows the end result of Blondie here may or may not be a good one, despite all efforts.

My visitor is a hookup from NYC I met YHE DAY BEFORE I left. Was a bummer to leave. We had fun.

And for those passive aggressive types, i have hakf a dozen girls here locally that i haven't even had time to meet up with yet, as i just got here. Gotta go meet up with them as well. I've never had anyone not want to see me a second/third/w.e. time in my life either, so yeah... enjoy that too, passive aggressive posters.

November 9, 2015

Look man, ppl here mostly post out of concern, both for you and for your potential love interest.

Yes, it is possible for physical attraction to grow for some ppl (not one of them personally but I'm sure it happens) but that stuff creeps up on you with time, subconsciously, unconsciously, naturally, unplanned, kind of like a friendship that evolves and grows gradually into more.

In your case though, you have already framed your R into a romantic one and have taken it to the next step already, within a couple of weeks, in the full knowledge that you were not ohysically attracted to her. The fact she's not your normal type is almost irrelevant. The fact she's 22 can however def affect her actions, especially if she's as lovely and attached to you as you seem to think she is. It's still early days - please think twice before entering a R for any other reason than it is right for you both at all levels.

November 9, 2015

Jealousy is usually the root of people acting that way, but it shouldn't be tolerated on a board where you are asking for relationship advice. Since it is tolerated, I have to unfortunately take these passive agressive types on myself, carefully, within the boundaries of the forum rules, which I have done.

I agree. I do think some of the slaps are due to jealousy. I was on a board where my pictures and videos were posted and I got a lot of compliments from some and plenty of cyber bullying from others calling me "an attention whore, a skank etc." from time to time I still look at the forum (killed my account but read threads) do you know they still talk about me??? LOL. I'm famous.

November 9, 2015

Ah. i see.

I follow you now.

She's fine. There is nothing to go on and on about regarding her good stuff. That's why I'm so interested.

Look at it another way.

If this was "Fix Your Car Shack.org" and your car was overheating, would you spend any time discussing your fine leather upholstery? The great trunk space? The mileage you get?

Hell nah!

You'd be going on about the problem.

Same thing.

I'm not sure this is the correct analogy.

I think a better analogy is that your last car(s) kept overheating, partially because in the buying process, you were focused only on the color of the leather interior or how you don't like too much trunk space. Stuff that most people can get past if the rest of the car is right. Yes, you do need to like the way the car looks. We are telling you that you'd be much better though, to focus more on reliability. A much more important thing.

November 9, 2015

I'm not sure this is the correct analogy.

I think a better analogy is that your last car(s) kept overheating, partially because in the buying process, you were focused only on the color of the leather interior or how you don't like too much trunk space. Stuff that most people can get past if the rest of the car is right. Yes, you do need to like the way the car looks. We are telling you that you'd be much better though, to focus more on reliability. A much more important thing.

That's your misconception.

I have repeated over and over that shes running great. That Im trying to overlook the styling problems because of how well she runs,,Why you aren't listening to that... i can't know.

The car runs perfectly.

Just the wrong color.

OMG. just saw the trunk space part!! ha ha ha ha Wow, that was funny!

November 9, 2015

That's your misconception.

I have repeated over and over that shes running great. That Im trying to overlook the styling problems because of how well she runs,,Why you aren't listening to that... i can't know.

The car runs perfectly.

Just the wrong color.

OMG. just saw the trunk space part!! ha ha ha ha Wow, that was funny!

Hm. I think the problem with any car analogy here is that nobody really cares whether the car is happy...

November 9, 2015

But that's the thing. You still don't really know how she runs at this point. And yes as @serial muse pointed out, we are dealing w a person, not a machine that runs and serves you at your pleasure. If you want to get back to the car analogy: The issue also is how *you* run, for her.

I am travelling myself right now (2am here but crazy jetlag so I am up). I have met, in the span of a week, *several* women who are free spirits, who travel a lot, who value experiences over things. Love it. Thing is though, these women walk the walk too. For one thing, they fund their own trips, either through saving up their earnings before leaving, or from working odd jobs along the way.

Hopefully your girl is like that.

Edited November 9, 2015 by Imajerk17

November 9, 2015

But that's the thing. You still don't really know how she runs at this point. And yes as @serial muse pointed out, we are dealing w a person, not a machine that runs and serves you at your pleasure. If you want to get back to the car analogy: The issue also is how *you* run, for her.

I am travelling myself right now (2am here but crazy jetlag so I am up). I have met, in the span of a week, *several* women who are free spirits, who travel a lot, who value experiences over things. Love it. Thing is though, these women walk the walk too. For one thing, they fund their own trips, either through saving up their earnings before leaving, or from working odd jobs along the way.

Hopefully your girl is like that.

That makes me think of the movie Ex Machina.

Rule of thumb in life: if you're not 100% attracted to a person, then don't date them.

November 9, 2015

Only time can tell, man.

This thread is about if i can develop stronger sexual urges for a girl who seems absolutely amazing so far.

Or... beating the car analogy to death.... h

I'm on the test drive and she runs great! Unfortunately, Karma Kars doesn't have the color I like most in stock. They have the white one.

But that's the thing. You still don't really know how she runs at this point. And yes as @serial muse pointed out, we are dealing w a person, not a machine that runs and serves you at your pleasure. If you want to get back to the car analogy: The issue also is how *you* run, for her.

I am travelling myself right now (2am here but crazy jetlag so I am up). I have met, in the span of a week, *several* women who are free spirits, who travel a lot, who value experiences over things. Love it. Thing is though, these women walk the walk too. For one thing, they fund their own trips, either through saving up their earnings before leaving, or from working odd jobs along the way.

Hopefully your girl is like that.

November 10, 2015

So I shouldn't even try to see if it will develop more physically based on a growing mental and emotional connection?

No.

So it's your advice to get rid of her and keep sorting through the ones that I do find very sexually attractive to hope for another compatible personality?

kind of. The fact that you use expressions like "get rid of" and "sorting through" about women ESPECIALLY this one you supposedly "like" makes me think that you might be better off just forgetting about having a traditional relationship and do something alternative like hire girls for stuff??

It already took a lifetime to find this one. What if I never find it again?

I don't read all your threads but for sure you've said this at least 2 other times in the past 6 months, one of them was the socalled "yoga chick" and then there was the perfect one in Boston, remember them??

:rolleyes:

November 10, 2015

Moderation has deleted 36 posts in this thread. If you don't have something helpful to say that relates directly to the OP's original topic, and cannot post within community guidelines, please move on.

For everyone else, please continue to post within our community guidelines.

Thank you,

~6

Edited November 10, 2015 by Robert
re-opened thread after review

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