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Best girl ever, don't feel sexual attraction. Crawling Back to LoveShack

loveweary11

By loveweary11
in General Relationship Discussion

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pteromom Established Member

pteromom

Posted
Posted
Oddly, there is huge long term potential here.

 

She's very interested in long term and hasn't been in a relationship in forever. She rejects everyone.

 

We fell for each other. Hard. She already told her mom about me and we will be spending this whole weekend together.

 

She is fully, fully interested in the long haul here and has said so. We both pair bond and are starting to already. We are like two halves of a whole. No exaggeration.

 

In short, it's all perfect, except my hangup.

 

Except you are aware that a 22 year old is still maturing and figuring out who she is, and that who she is now is not who she will be a few years from now. She is also too young to know for sure that she doesn't want children.

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thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
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Except you are aware that a 22 year old is still maturing and figuring out who she is, and that who she is now is not who she will be a few years from now. She is also too young to know for sure that she doesn't want children.

 

Right....she just got rid of her Hello Kitty phone case and now she is all in....:laugh:

 

TFY

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loveweary11 Established Member

loveweary11

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Yeah. All comes with the territory of dating younger.

 

I see all relationships (even life long ones) as temporary now.

 

Just going with the flow here...

clia Established Member

clia

Posted
Posted
Oddly, there is huge long term potential here.

 

She's very interested in long term and hasn't been in a relationship in forever. She rejects everyone.

 

We fell for each other. Hard. She already told her mom about me and we will be spending this whole weekend together.

 

She is fully, fully interested in the long haul here and has said so. We both pair bond and are starting to already. We are like two halves of a whole. No exaggeration.

 

In short, it's all perfect, except my hangup.

 

Haven't you only known her two weeks? Of course it's all perfect now. Slow down!

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BlueIris Established Member

BlueIris

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You’ve known her for only 2 weeks?

 

She’s 22. You’re 40. Graciously bow out. Don’t mislead and use her to have sex since you’re not attracted to her. Just tell her that she’s wonderful but that you don’t think that you are a lifetime match. It likely won’t surprise her or hurt her feelings if you blame it on the age difference.

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RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

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I agree with the others that you shouldn't use her to try to get over your fetish. spend your time finding someone else who also has the personality match you are looking for. It isn't impossible.

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loveweary11 Established Member

loveweary11

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You’ve known her for only 2 weeks?

 

She’s 22. You’re 40. Graciously bow out. Don’t mislead and use her to have sex since you’re not attracted to her. Just tell her that she’s wonderful but that you don’t think that you are a lifetime match. It likely won’t surprise her or hurt her feelings if you blame it on the age difference.

 

I have a solid 7 girls her age right now vying to have sex/more with me.

 

I'm not using anyone.

 

I chose my best match for personality/life... no consideration for sex at all.

 

I'm sticking with it to see how it goes.

jen1447 Established Member

jen1447

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I forgot about the age 22 thing ....I hate to toss out true love LW but if nothing else that does mean when her sexual prime starts (and likely keeps going for quite a while), you'll be pushing 60. That's a really tall order for an older guy, my friend. :)

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loveflower Established Member

loveflower

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no fair!

 

man 40, woman 22...can you imagine the opposite happens?

mrs rubble Established Member

mrs rubble

Posted
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no fair!

 

man 40, woman 22...can you imagine the opposite happens?

 

It does I was relentlessly pursued by a 21yo when I was 38.

I could not bring myself to go there... My oldest son was only a few years younger..eeew!!!

joseb Established Member

joseb

Posted
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I forgot about the age 22 thing ....I hate to toss out true love LW but if nothing else that does mean when her sexual prime starts (and likely keeps going for quite a while), you'll be pushing 60. That's a really tall order for an older guy, my friend. :)

 

Yeah LW, especially when Jen's modest 2x a day plus 5x weekends seems demanding ;)

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loveweary11 Established Member

loveweary11

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I forgot about the age 22 thing ....I hate to toss out true love LW but if nothing else that does mean when her sexual prime starts (and likely keeps going for quite a while), you'll be pushing 60. That's a really tall order for an older guy, my friend. :)

 

My philosophy: All relationships are temporary, even life long ones (for the one that dies second).

 

I'm not planning out my retirement here. I'm looking to have a great experience in life.

 

 

If I'm out of commission in my old age, she can get a pool boy or girl or w.e. No big deal. Open relationship is fine with me. Or she can move on.

 

I tend to live in the moment, not worry about what's happening 20 years from now. Who knows if I (or any of you) will not have died by then?

 

You gotta live life.

 

Can't worry about "what ifs"

Edited by loveweary11
jen1447 Established Member

jen1447

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^ Might wanna find out if she's on the same page tho.

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lucy_in_disguise Established Member

lucy_in_disguise

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If youre not concerned about the longer-term issues that may (will) arise due to your large age gap, then it doesnt sound like compatibiliry is that important to you, anyway. Since thats the case, and she doesnt do it for you sexually, im struggling to see what the point is of dating her. Surely its not that hard to find a petite brunnete who wants to travel? It doesnt sound like you have many other requirements given your "live for the moment" perspective. I see your post as braggery more than a legitimate question.

 

I gotta say, I also question this chick's life choices. She is 22 and wants to go travel with a dude in his 40s that she met 2 weeks prior? Can we say daddy issues? She should be focusing on her education or career at this time, not shacking up with a sugar daddy in his house boat. Im surprised her parents are ok with this.

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loveweary11 Established Member

loveweary11

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^ Might wanna find out if she's on the same page tho.

 

 

 

And if she isn't on the same page?

 

That'd come to light in 20 years.

 

Who on this site has been with the person they are with for 20 years?

 

Why even worry about it?

xxoo Established Member

xxoo

Posted
Posted
And if she isn't on the same page?

 

That'd come to light in 20 years.

 

Who on this site has been with the person they are with for 20 years?

 

Why even worry about it?

 

25! :love:

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jen1447 Established Member

jen1447

Posted
Posted
And if she isn't on the same page?

 

That'd come to light in 20 years.

 

Who on this site has been with the person they are with for 20 years?

 

Why even worry about it?

 

It could come to light right now if she knew she wasn't down with that plan. ;)

 

I know a couple women who hooked up w/older guys "for life," only to find that it wasn't for them at a certain point. In both cases it was actually a very painful experience, so better to at least let her go into it w/her eyes open.

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loveweary11 Established Member

loveweary11

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Literally everything in this post is wrong. Allow me to correct...

 

 

If youre not concerned about the longer-term issues that may (will) arise due to your large age gap, then it doesnt sound like compatibiliry is that important to you, anyway.

 

Compatibility is the most important thing. We want to do all the same things in life and share all the same values.

 

Since thats the case, and she doesnt do it for you sexually, im struggling to see what the point is of dating her. Surely its not that hard to find a petite brunnete who wants to travel?

 

Yet, somehow it is. This is the first one in my life I've been compatible with on all levels.

 

It doesnt sound like you have many other requirements given your "live for the moment" perspective. I see your post as braggery more than a legitimate question.

 

Bragging that I'm having a problem? Bragging about what, exactly? You'll know if I'm bragging. You have no idea the stories I've lived. If i wanted to brag, people would think I was making it all up.

 

I gotta say, I also question this chick's life choices. She is 22 and wants to go travel with a dude in his 40s that she met 2 weeks prior? Can we say daddy issues? She should be focusing on her education or career at this time,

 

She is done school and isn't interested in corporate bs. Neither am I. Another thing we have in common. It's not enough for you to tell me what to do and put me down, you have to out her down too? Bitter much?

 

not shacking up with a sugar daddy in his house boat.

 

Im not paying her. Houseboat?!? :lmao: Honey, this is a $1m high performance world cruising catamaran. My you have quite an imagination. :lmao:

 

Im surprised her parents are ok with this

 

Her parents are decent people who support their daughter and want what is best for her. They want her to he happy and live her dreams. They aren't dream crushing blow hards who let their imaginations run wild and get the best of them.

 

.

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loveweary11 Established Member

loveweary11

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It could come to light right now if she knew she wasn't down with that plan. ;)

 

I know a couple women who hooked up w/older guys "for life," only to find that it wasn't for them at a certain point. In both cases it was actually a very painful experience, so better to at least let her go into it w/her eyes open.

 

There is no plan.

 

She and I are the same.

 

We're just trying to have a rewarding life and enjoy each other. No one knows what then distant future holds.

jen1447 Established Member

jen1447

Posted
Posted
There is no plan.

 

She and I are the same.

 

We're just trying to have a rewarding life and enjoy each other. No one knows what then distant future holds.

 

I think you're being a little obtuse LW ....your plan is to leave, at the very least, her sexual satisfaction to chance ~20 years down the road, isn't it?

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Imajerk17 Established Member

Imajerk17

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LW, I admit, I find this whole thread extremely bizarre.

 

1. It seems you are all over the map here. You said you've fallen for each other but you're not physically attracted to her. (I know when I've fallen for someone "not my type", that person BECOMES my type.) You talk about how perfect you are for each other. Then you say y've known this girl for all of 2 weeks too. I get that people fall fast, but, at this point, haven't you learned to be a bit more cautious?

 

2. I often wonder why you ask for guidance here, as you've stated yourself how intentionally different you feel you are from people here. What makes us qualified then, to help you w your biggest life decisions?

 

3. On a related note: Your working in how you have 7 girls her age (not sure why the "her age" had to be worked in there but thanks for sharing) who want to sleep with you, and your going on and on about how objectively attractive your new gf really is, just reads like shameless humblebrag. (I can also see how people on here about your age who have daughters not much younger than this would be grossed out. But I won't go there. You're consenting adults.). Do you enjoy the drama/attention?

 

I'm just pointing some stuff out that has been on my mind every time I read your threads. Have you thought about working this out w a therapist? I think it would do you a lot of good. I think you'd work through some deeper issues. (And you'd get perspective without the projecting, which I do think goes on in your threads.)

Edited by Imajerk17
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lucy_in_disguise Established Member

lucy_in_disguise

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There is no plan.

 

She and I are the same.

 

We're just trying to have a rewarding life and enjoy each other. No one knows what then distant future holds.

 

Well then... what is the question? Enjoy!

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Taramere Established Member

Taramere

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Houseboat?!? Honey, this is a $1m high performance world cruising catamaran

 

That is MAHOGANY!!!

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pteromom Established Member

pteromom

Posted
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My philosophy: All relationships are temporary, even life long ones (for the one that dies second).

 

I'm not planning out my retirement here. I'm looking to have a great experience in life.

 

OK. I can roll with that.

 

Except... you are 40. You have had time to actually FORM your philosophy based on life experience.

 

I have no issue with your philosophy.

 

Just remember she hasn't had the life experience to create a solid philosophy.

 

As the older one, all I ask is that if you see that her desires no longer align with yours, that you do the right thing and let her go.

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Timshel Established Member

Timshel

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That is MAHOGANY!!!

 

Indeed.

 

LW, shirley you know that your threads lack a remarkable amount of substance?

 

Your dilemma is that you are seeing a perfectly compatible beautiful blonde....sigh....but I don't want to f* her? There are many others, always; young, beautiful, modelish, carefree....again......sigh.

 

It is humble bragging. Full stop. There is nothing I can possibly contribute to your threads without getting into trouble. Your propensity for the preposterous leaves little room for honest response, critique and advice. I do have an opinion but feel that you are not looking for advice, rather a very tolerant group to spew upon....then run and dismiss when more meaningful questions are asked.

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